Faith Won't Save You From Chaos
by CrazyAcorn
Summary: This is how I came to accept a life of chaos. How I watched a man slowly turn into a monster. How I learnt to love the human hidden inside him. How I watched Gotham go up in flames. How I learnt what fear really was..how I became my inner demon. Not M-Sue
1. New Chapters

**CrazyA:** Hey! It's the dynamic duo, Jess and Joker!

**Joker:** Don't call us that!

**CrazyA: **Oh shut up, already! Anyway, as I said before, this is the new fresh start. 'cause the original two chapters seemed were kinda a test-drive to see if I could get the Joker right. I think I'm okay, but if you guys say otherwise than just give me a review, kay? But **no flames**. Same characters. Same plot. Same everything. Set just a wee bit before TDK. I own myself, the story and Thalia.

**Joker: **Just get onto the story...

**CrazyA: **For God sake, go have a shower or something! Read and review!

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**1. New Chapters  
**_'**Listen up, here's the story about a guy who lives in the blue world. And all day and all night everything he sees is just blue, like him, inside and outside.'**- Blue (Da Ba Dee), _Eiffel 65

It all started with an empty house.

Number fourteen on Simons Street. A nice place in a…so-so neighbourhood. A garden made nearly entirely of weeds. A two-bedroom, one bathroom, one kitchen, one living room type of house. The occasional crack addict lived in there until they were killed by the mobsters they worked for. A few rats lived there now. Drunk couples had one-night-stands in there sometimes…but apart from those few people, no one lived there.

But now, **I** did.

I'm Jessica Jean, also known as Jess by my friends. And even 'Jester'…but that was in college. Forget about the last one. Seriously, just forget I _ever _mentioned her. I mean me. I mean…bollocks.

Believe it or not, I'm Australian. I just love British curse words. But Mum's side of the family is Dutch. They're far more laid-back than my Dad's side. I take after her more than I take after Dad. I guess that's why I never really got on with him …well, Christine didn't really help, either.

Sorry, I ramble on a bit. Back to my story. I said I was Australian, but Simons Street isn't in Australia. It's in America. More specifically, the city of Gotham. I love Gotham. I've got some cool friends there.

Kait's my best friend in Gotham, we met on the subway one day and soon got talking. Turns out that she's a bit of a writer herself. She writes drama stories, crime stories and just overall _awesome _stories. I write romantic comedies for teenagers looking for a boyfriend and a laugh. So, as you can see, we write completely different stuff. But that doesn't mean we can't be good friends.

I know only two other people in all of Gotham. But even then, I don't ever talk to them. Jack and Thalia. They live in number sixteen, just next door. They're married…but they aren't exactly a happy couple. I know that I shouldn't listen in on people, that's just wrong. But I don't really have a choice. When they argue, they're loud as all hell.

"Jack! I can do what I want!"

"Can you listen to me?! Just for _once?!_"

That's them now. As you can see, they don't really get on well. But then they always end up in fits of laughter. It's…kinda scary, actually. It's like they just took a major dose of crack, sugar, coffee and helium…all at once and straight to their veins.

"Jess, quit staring at them. You're being a right perv…" Jester called from the couch. Um…readers? There's something I should tell you…

I think I'm going mad.

I have conversations…no, _arguments _with myself. And guess what? Jester _always_ wins.

Jester is the other side of me. The wicked, sexy, fun, bad-ass, smart-alec side of me. The side that I desperately want to be. I made her up when I was…twelve years old. Jesters were members of medieval festivals, purely there to entertain. Tell jokes, dance, play music, whatever. They wore brightly coloured costumes, in Jester's case a green and black one, and did whatever they had to do to get a cheer from the crowd.

She was just a character inside my head. An imaginary friend. Even though I was twelve years old and far too mature for them, I still had her following me to school and pulling faces at the bitchy girls in my class.

But then, when I was just finishing off high school, Jester came to life in the form of alcohol and then, a few years later…weed. I know, weed is complete B.S….but damn, it's addictive. And whenever I was in my state of bliss, Jester would unleash. I'd be a complete whore. Go completely nuts over nothing. Dance like crazy. Go shop-lifting. I'd become an insane, impulsive, somehow sexy alcoholic.

'Cause without it, I was just Jessica Jean. Another girl on the street. Another pretty face. A breathing doormat. A gullible, sweet, goody-two-shoes who could never be herself. But Jessica Jean had a family…and they wanted her back. So Susan (my sister), Mum and Dad helped me get over it.

But getting over the crack and martinis didn't get Jester out of my head. She remained in there, stronger than what she was when I was a kid. That means that she wins more arguments, gets her way more often, gets to have more fun with me…which means more pain and suffering for me. All this, in my own head. I'm sane enough to understand that she's not really there…but sometimes it's really hard to remember that.

"Hell-oo? You in there, Jess?" she said, calling out to me from across the room. "You must be, if I'm still here." She laughed, her head right back as she let her voice echo in the silence we shared.

"Shut up." No, I wasn't the best with comebacks.

"Great comeback, Miss Jean," she said in a posh voice. You know what sucks about having another person living inside your mind? They know _exactly_ what you're thinking. "But seriously, sweetie, get away from the window." She didn't have to tell me to, I was already moving away. I didn't really want to see Jack and Thalia making out like they always do after a fight. How did I know this? Well, after taking a peak around my curtains to see if they were alright ('cause from the sounds of it, they were having a Jerry-styled showdown)…yeah. Not good.

"However, he did look über cute with his shirt off…" Jester said, knowing what I was thinking…again. "And since _I_ think this, _you _must think this, too!" She laughed again, knowing that I was blushing at my computer screen. She smiled and walked up behind me, looking over my shoulder to see what I was writing. Two words.

_Chapter One_

_  
_"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Writer's block?"

"Writer's block."

"Must suck…"

"Yeah…it does." One plus side about having another person inside your mind: you're never lonely. Another plus: they feel your pain. A third plus: they like the stuff _you_ like. So when I put ABBA on, Jester was more than happy to listen with me. She danced around in circles, completely ignoring my pleas for her to stop being so irritating. She grabbed my hand, pulled me up off of my purple spinning chair and made me dance with her…not really caring how awkward I danced.

"Come on, dance!" she said, laughing as I slowly gave in to the beat. I love to dance, I'm just no good at it. It's Jester who's the dancer. Hip-spinning, butt-popping Jester. But this time _I_ was Jester…

…and I didn't need a bottle of Vodka to become her.

…but Vodka helped just a little bit. God, my head. It hurt like full hell…Jester's waking up, too. Lying on the couch, completely hung-over. When I said that she felt my pain, I mean she felt my mental _and _physical pain. She looked up at me, her dark eye-liner smudged. My mind was fuzzy, so she appeared fuzzy, too. Everything about her was tired, worn-out and a wreck.

"Is ABBA finished?" she asked, looking over to the computer. It had finished ages ago, somewhere near the middle of the night. I looked over to the computer, seeing that more words were filling up the page. Angry, drunk, stupid words.

"Oh bugger…"

_Chapter One  
Inkdafhievbhjbxcbcvksfjzdbdhfbdhvbb mjcbjcbjbsacb bleaaaaaaauuuuggghhhh!!?!?!?!?! Hahahahaahahahahahahaahhaa./ I need mre drinkies….mmm….booshe stash…._

_  
_"Yep, that was a fun night, alright." Jester tried standing up, but she just fell back on the couch in a fit of giggles. I still can't believe that she was part of me…I needed something to get me through the morning…perfect. 'Can't Fight the Moonlight' by LeAnn Rimes. I have a bit of a thing for 90's music. Boy-bands, Britney Spears, Christina, you name it. I smiled and crashed on the couch, landing on top of Jester. But, technically, fazing through her and landing on the couch pillows. The room was silent for a few minutes, just until she reappeared on the other side of the room. She was looking out the window, peeping through the curtains into the number sixteen. She must've spotted Jack.

"I feel bad for him, you know?" she said, not looking back at me.

"Yeah…I know…" Of course I knew, she lived inside my mind.

"He and Thalia are always arguing, always fighting…" she turned to me, a sly smile on her pale face. I knew that smile…I could never trust it. "Wanna go cheer him up?"

"No!" I yelled at her, sitting upright in shock. "Don't even think about it, Jester!" She laughed and disappeared, slowly fading away into the shadows. I stared at the empty space that she once occupied, not really sure what to do anymore. I didn't really like being by myself, especially in a house with so many rooms. I needed someone to talk to, someone to have fun with.

"Please…please come back, Jester." But she didn't. See, even though she lived in my head…I couldn't just summon her into existence like a Genie or an imaginary friend. She comes and goes. Usually when I don't want her to. I stood where she stood, wondering if I could bring her back just by being where she once was. No chance. But when I looked out the window, I realised that I wouldn't always be alone.

Jack. Thalia was out, again. I knew that last night's argument didn't help. None of them did. She still left the day after each one, going to the nearest casino. I never saw Jack leave with her. Guess he wasn't much of a gambling guy…

I've never actually spoken to either of them before. I just knew their names because they kept screaming them at each other.

_"Jack! For God sake! I'm not gambling our _lives_ away or anything!"_

_"Thalia, just hold your tongue for a second!"_

Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. It's a wonder that I can get to sleep, really. But I still felt like they were a part of my life…don't ask me why…I just did. Probably because I got snippets of their lives every time I walked past a window. So when I walked past this one, I was surprised to see that Jack thought the same thing…  
He was just staring…and it sent chills down my spine. It really did. Brown locked with blue. We just stared at each other, neither of us moving. I expected him to quickly look away, pretend he was doing something completely different. He probably expected me to blush and do the same thing. And…he was right. I just blushed, blinked a couple of times and walked off.

So much for making an impression.

Oh but if I knew then…if I knew then what I know now.

Let's just say that I'd be back home in Oz right now.

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**CrazyA: **Well, I hope you like! Please give me a review, it always makes me smile!

**Joker: **If you needed to smile, you could've just told me...*plays with knife while Jess squeals with hormones*


	2. Meet the Neighbors

**CrazyA:** Hey everyone! This is the first chap that I've submitted since I got back from London. So, before anyone asks, it's good to be home.

**Joker:** Not in my case. Arkham's _my_ home, and it doesn't even have room service. Anyway, for a...bonus point-tah...I have my first real appearance in this lousy fanfic.

**CrazyA:** Usually, I'd hit you with a shovel until you bleed green, but you're right. It's actually getting good now. Oh, look out for the reference to my fave TDK story 'Eye Candy'. Don't worry, it's not too hard. Kinda obvious, actually... Oh, and if anyone guesses who 'Hilary' really is, than you get a kiss from 'Mistah Jay'.

**Joker:** HEY! We never agreed on that!

**CrazyA:** ENJOY!

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**2. Meeting the Neighbors  
**_'__**He looked at me and stared. Yes he bumped me, my heart was unprepared...**__' –I Can Hear the Bells, _Hairspray

Kait came around at about twelve o'clock. Unexpectedly, as usual.

"Hey, Noodle-fish!" she said, spotting my cat lying sleepily on the couch. I've had Noodle since I was ten years old. She's really old now and only ever moves to either get her dinner or pee on your shoes. Or to jump on your lap. She's a slinky grey moggy that's impossibly skinny even though I feed her every day. Bizarre, really.

"Your front door was open so I just let myself in," she said with a smile. I looked up at her from my desk, which was planted underneath a window, and smiled back.

"I'm keeping it open so that the fresh air can come in...The fan, unfortunately, is completely shut down," I explained, rolling my eyes. "So that means I'm going to die of heat-stroke."

"I know how you feel," she said, plonking down on the couch. "My place is on boiling point right now. The whole of Gotham is." She looked around the room, a smile on her face. "I notice that all the cardboard boxes have gone. Have you finished unpacking?"

"Yeah, _finally_," I said, continuing my typing. Meg walked over to my side and looked at what I had on the screen. A couple of lines, nothing much. I had a bit of inspiration from recent events...

_Jonathan turned away from me and to his work, his cold eyes still burning a hole inside me. I could swear that my heart was beating faster than it ever had before...It was like the whole world had collapsed on itself, I just didn't know what to do. He continued typing, ignoring my staring eyes. I should've left him there, but a hormone-filled side of me remained firmly put. I remained in my daze right until Hilary grabbed my hand and dragged me to our usual spot in the corner of the library.  
"You okay, Jackie? You look like you've seen a ghost or somethin'. Why were you staring at Jono?"_

"Interesting..." Kait muttered, reading it over. "What's it about?"

"What all my other books are about. Romance, drama and angst. Plus the occasional wise-crack."

"And who's this Jonathan guy? He sounds dreamy..." she suddenly turned to me, a bright smile on her face. "Did you base him on a real person?"

"Um...yes and no..."

"Oooh! What's he like!?!" she said, squealing. "Wait a minute..." She looked out the window, her eyes going huge. Oh no. This won't be good.

Jack was working in his kitchen, cooking a steak for lunch. His three-quarter sleeves were rolled up, revealing muscled forearms. Kait was staring at him, practically drooling over the toned, strong-looking forearms. To her, they were the best eye-candy in the toffee store.

And boy, were they yummy.

"Who is that?" she asked in her half-awake state of mind. Thank God that he wasn't looking this way, otherwise he'd probably freak out at Kait's expression.

"That's Jack. He's my neighbor-"

"-are you two an item?" she pushed in. I shook my head, looking back at the screen. Her smile grew at that as she cocked her head to the side, watching him work. She was like a horny school-girl...it was kinda sickening. I had to put an end to it.

"He's taken though." I knew without taken my eyes off my computer screen that Kait was disappointed. "He's got a wife named Thalia."

"Is he happy around her?"

"I don't really know...I've never spoken to either of them before. But I hear them fight all the time...however, they always have make-up-sex later."

"And you know this _how?_"

"Please. Don't. Ask." We were silent for a second, before she suddenly pieced it all together.

"Oh you sly thing!" she said, chuckling. "Little 'Jonathan' is actually Handsome Jack!" I stopped typing for a second, chuckling with her, before retreating back.

"I don't think so, Kait. I don't even _know _the guy, let alone _fancy _him!" I thought the conversation was finished, but Kait managed to put it her final word.

"I never said that you fancied him..." I didn't say anything, just blushed slightly and closed down my work. Kait's smile grew, she knew what I was thinking. Jester was begging for me to swipe the smile off her face, but I knew better.

"What did you come for?" I asked, finally looking up at her. She beamed at me and handed over a folded-over, slightly crumpled piece of paper. I opened it up and discovered that it was an invitation to a party. But there was one word that really stood out...

..._costumed._"I got it from a guy at work who wasn't interested in going. It's plus one, so I was thinking that I could bring someone with me..." she waggled her eyebrows, hinting that she wanted me to go with her. I wasn't really paying attention to her, just to the one word.

..._costumed._See, I love costumes. I always have. When I was a teen, I went to conventions with my sister dressed as my favourite characters. I loved getting ready for Halloween, even though we hardly ever went trick-or-treating. I loved my sister's twenty-first, when I was sixteen, and got to wear a full-on masquerade outfit. But there was one outfit I've been dying to make...but I never had the excuse to make it.

"YES!" Jester screamed from the couch. "Yes, yes, yes and _yes_!! I get to come back out! Say yes now or I'll give you a tumor!" I've always wanted to dress up in Jester's outfit. A black corset...green-and-black skirt that cut just above her knees and poofed out around her...matching jester's cap with bells...black fishnet lining and matching fingerless gloves...black stockings that was dotted with holes...and to top it all off?

Green converse sneakers. High-tops, obviously.

"I'd love to come," I answered at once. It wasn't quite as excited as Jester's answer, but it was nearly as bright. Kait smiled and ruffled my hair before hopping off the desk and walking out the door, waving goodbye.

"It's party time!" Jester screamed, running around the living room. "P-A-R-T-why? Because I gotta!" She was cackling with laughter, practically wetting herself. Meanwhile, I was smiling as brightly as the moon, flying completely over it. I opened up a drawer in my desk and pulled out the phone book. I needed to find a tailor, fast. With an outfit as elaborate as this, it would need heaps of time. I tried as hard as I could to find one, but most of them were way too expensive. Either that or they only made business suits. Either that or both.

"You could always try an adult store tailor..." Jester suggested. I might have no choice, actually...After the expensive-looking ads were about a-dozen-and-one ads with girls in skin-tight outfits. But then I found a tiny add right in the corner. It changed my life completely...

"_Hand-Made Rebellions_?" I read aloud. Jester popped her head up from the couch.

"Now we're talking..." she said, coming over beside me. She seemed to have calmed down from the announcement and was now focused on getting the dress. I continued reading out the ad, soaking into every word.

"_'Costumes of the finest quality, purely for those who demand a difference. We accept any challenge, all made by hand. Phone 7117 0642 for more information.' _Sounds pretty good..."

"I think we should give them a call...and remember, what I thin-"

"-what you think I think. I've got it already." I picked up the phone and started dialing the number, waiting for someone on the other side of the line to pick up. Eventually, someone did.

"Hello, who am I speaking to?" a woman asked. She sounded familiar...but I couldn't quite place where from.

"Hi, I'm Jessica Jean. I saw your ad in the phone book and was wondering if you're able to make costume for me."

"Well depends...what did you have in mind?" Seriously, I was sure that I'd heard that voice from somewhere before.

"I need a jester outfit for a party in a few weeks time. I have a particular design in mind, though, so I wanted one custom made. Your ad makes you seem like the perfect option."

"Great! Please visit us tomorrow at sixteen on Simons Street. What time suits you best?"

Wait, what?

"Um...did you say number sixteen on Simons Street?" I asked into the phone. I looked up through my window and saw her on the other side of the glass, talking on her own phone. Her green eyes blinked as she looked through her own, spotting me.

"Yes..."

"Hi. I live next door to you..."

"You're my new neighbor? I was meaning to come round and visit you some time...but I keep getting distracted." Jack and I were the only people who knew what she was really saying.

"This is such a coincidence," I said with a chuckle. "Can I come over and do this face-to-face?" Thalia laughed, still looking at me through the glass.

"Aren't we already? But sure, come on over. We can discuss things properly in the comfort of a living-room." We hung up and I walked out of my house, locking it behind me. Even though I was just going next door, I couldn't be too careful. I knocked on the door, only to have it opened immediately by Thalia.

"Hi!" she said brightly. "I'm Thalia." I already knew who she was, but I pretended that I didn't. After all, eves-dropping isn't exactly a good thing to be doing. Even if you don't have a choice.

"I'm Jess," I said, shaking her hand warmly. I followed her inside, looking around the place in curiosity. I don't know why, but for some reason my heart was pounding. I was scared, but I didn't know what of. I always got these feelings, ever since I was a kid. Whenever I talked I was scared I'd mess up and say something horrible. And if I did I wouldn't talk to the person for the rest of the day. I lost a lot of friendships in high school, let's just say that.

But now, I was scared what to say about this place. It was small and rather bare. No fancy wallpaper, just basic coats of colored paint. It didn't really look like a business...especially one for such an elaborate costume. There was a sewing machine in one room behind a closed door where I could hear someone working. The buzzing noise of the engine buzzed in my ears.

"Do you own the business yourself?" I asked Thalia.

"Yes, but I'm usually out most of the time. So my husband does most of the work in my place." Jack. He would be the one making my outfit. I didn't know whether to call that a good or a bad thing.

"Do you get many customers?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Yes and no. Sometimes we get people coming around Halloween...but most people in Gotham prefer wearing black ties to work instead of black corsets," she chuckled. I sat down on the sofa, noticing some stains buried in the material. I didn't mention anything about them, but Thalia seemed to know what I was thinking by the look she gave me.

"So you _do _make corsets?" I asked to change the subject.

"Yes and no. We know a person who sells corsets that we just stitch any other material onto. You said you have a specific idea in mind," Thalia said. "Have you got any sketches I could use?"

"I have a few drawings at home: I could bring them over some other time." That's when I noticed something...she was rather dressed-up. Tight red halter-neck top and skinny-leg jeans, red high-heels and her brown hair straightened. Plus red lip-stick that was brighter than the moon.

"Are you going out somewhere?" I asked her. She looked down at her outfit and smiled back at me.

"I-I'm going out for dinner in about twenty minutes..." she finally answered. It was a lie, I knew that at once. She was going out for another gamble. Jester wanted to tell her to stop this addiction. To tell her how much it must be hurting Jack. But I knew better.

"I'll get out of your way then if you have to go soon. But I'll come back tomorrow with the sketches, okay?" I asked, receiving a head-nod as a reply. I shook her hand and walked down the hall, prepared to let myself out. But, of course, I was daft enough to bump straight into an open door. I fell backward from shock, landing firmly on my own arse with an 'oof'. I rubbed my nose, which was the first thing to hit the door, before attempting to stand up.

"You're a clumsy one, aren't you?" said a voice above me.

"Well it doesn't help if doors open without any warning straight into my face..." I snapped back. When I'm in pain, I tend to get a bit snappy. I stood up, feeling woozy from the hit, and tripped forwards over my own feet.

"Careful there, beautiful. A sharp tongue could get you into trouble," the stranger said as he stopped my fall, catching me by my holding tightly onto my shoulders. I finally looked up at my savior, only to recoil from him.

"And we don't want any trouble, do we?" Jack. He seemed more rugged up close. His haunting brown eyes caught my attention again, and it was hard to look away. But I managed to with the help of one thing...

...One long, crazy scar that went from the left corner of his mouth that stretched across the side of his face. It was almost in the form of a smile...It looked like it had tried healing over, but Jack must've picked at it or something like that to keep it looking hoarse.

"N-No...we don't..." I finally replied. I wasn't stammering because of the scar, it was the fact that he was gripping onto my shoulders. I'm not the best around guys...whether I like them or not. He let me go and I stood on my two feet, regaining consciousness. I walked past him and towards the door, twisting the handle and pulling it open.

"Tell your blonde friend I say 'hi'..." he added before walking over to see Thalia. I paused in my tracks, freaking out for a second. He saw Kait? Does he always look through my window? Does he know that _I _do? If he was trying to scare me, I didn't show that it worked. I just turned around, gave a smile, said that I would, and walked out the door.

Jack walked over to Thalia, knowing exactly what she was up to. She was going out again...Where she went, Jack didn't know, but she knew what happened once she got there. One day she was going to get hurt...and he wouldn't know what to do when that day comes. Thalia was already on her way out when he walked in. She stood up, kissed him goodbye and reached the door in swift movements so that he didn't get a chance to argue.

"Thalz, don't do this..." he called after her. She stood in the open doorway and looked back at him, staring for a few minutes before replying as she always did.

"Jack, you really have to smile more..."

And with that, she was gone.


	3. Civilised Conversation? I Think Not

**CrazyA: **Hi there (again)! Joker isn't here today, unfortunately, he's having a sick-day...villain's need their beauty sleep, too yanno. You know the disclaimer. I own me, the cat, and my DK DVD (which is actually my sis' that I stole and proclaimed as mine. haha ^^) I'm just really happy with how I did Jack's personality. I tried to make him sweeter than he is as Joker 'cause he hasn't gone fully mad yet. (That's in about....5-7 chaps later) but still make him talk the same way. But do review with 'lovely criticsm' with how to make him better. Thanks!

**3. Civilized Conversation? I Think Not  
**_**'My pulse is rushing. My head is reeling. My face is flushing. What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, does it have a name...Loathing. Unadulterated loathing.'- **__What is This Feeling?, _Wicked_**  
**_

The next day, I was over at number sixteen with a pile of drawings in my arms. Each one a sketch of Jester. Some in colour, some in simple blue ink. I needed whatever I could to make Thalia understand my idea.

I noticed that there wasn't a car parked in the driveway, meaning that whoever was inside was by themselves. If Jack was out, I'd be in luck. If Thalia was out, then I'd be pink from too much blushing. _Please-may-Jack-be-out-please-may-Jack-be-out-please-may-Jack-be-out_...I thought as I rang the doorbell. And guess how lucky I was?

"What are you doing here-uh?" Jack asked, frowning at me. With the scar, it was hard to tell, actually. But from the look in his eyes, I could tell that I wasn't really welcome.

"I was wondering if Thalia was in," I replied calmly. "We need to discuss about my request for an outfit." Jack raised his eyebrows, goring slightly interested.

"Let me guess, a...uh...pretty little dress for a pretty little princess?" he asked sarcastically in a mocking tone of voice. He could be as irritating as he was terrifying.

"Not quite. So is she in or not?" I asked, growing impatient. Before I had any say in the matter, he quickly grabbed a drawing out of my arms and inspected it with slight interest. I would've been blushing if he wasn't smiling in that 'are you kidding me' sort of way.

"I never took you for that...uh...kind of person..." he said, showing me the picture. I _did _go a shade of colour then: white. It was a scrap picture of Jester I did one day; I didn't know how it got in there. She was wearing her usual outfit, but holding a bloody-looking mallet behind her back. Her flirtatious smile was probably the thing that really caught his attention, though. Oh. Bollocks. I tried snatching it off of him, but he merely swooped the paper out of my hands, laughing as he did.

"I never knew that the little girl-next-door wanted to secretly be a big-bad-villain!" he said, still laughing. I gave him a famous 'Jessica-hates-you-oh-so-much' glare, but it didn't seem to have an effect on him. In fact, he laughed a little bit harder.

"Oh, and as for Thalia. She had a bit of a late-tah night last night, so she's dozing it off in her room," he finally answered. About time, too; Jester and I had the same urge to smash him in with the bloody mallet.

"Okay, just let her know I came by, alright?" I said as I turned around. I didn't care about that stupid picture. Hell, he could keep it if he really wanted to. I didn't want it back. Even if that meant that my creepy next-door-neighbor had his hands on it.

Bollocks.

"Wait a minute!" I called, turning around. Surprisingly, he was still standing there in the doorway. He raised his eyebrows, trying to look innocent, but really there was a devil inside just waiting to spring out and attack.

"Give me back my picture." It wasn't a question, it was an order. He, on the other hand, thought of it as something to tease me about.

"I'm sorry, I think I had something in my ear-ah..." he said as he pretended to clean out his ears with his pinkie. Jerk. I _really _wanted to kill him then and there.

"_Please_. Give me. The picture." I felt my fists scrunch up until my knuckles turned white. I'm an easy person to annoy, and he knew that immediately. He smirked and handed it over at last, chuckling as he did. I snatched it off of him, not bothering with a 'thank you', and walked off back to my house.

"Who is she anyway?" Jack called out as I reached the front steps. I started unlocking the door as I tried to remain oblivious.

"Who's who?"

"Who's the girl in the drawing-ah?" he asked, probably smiling in his usual smug manner. I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to tell him about Jester. He'd just make fun of me even more. And, like any normal person would, I didn't want that. I closed the door behind me and leaned on the scratched wood, throwing my drawings in the corner with anger. Jack was a person that you could only take in small amounts. But then my ears rang with the sound of knuckles rapping on wood.

"Open up open up open up!" Jack sang on the other side. I groaned with frustration and pulled it open sharply.

"What is it?!" I asked. Jack blinked, startled slightly at my furious reply, before grinning like something out of Lewis Carol. He pressed a finger to my mouth, pushing it against my teeth. I was really tempted to bite him, but I had to be cautious around those eyes of his.

"Is someone upset-tah?" he asked, cooing like a mother dove. And then I realized something truly important about Jack...

...he's such a pain in the ass...

...and yet he could be really good-looking at the same time...

...and he still had his finger on my mouth. I pushed his hand away and asked again in a far more calm manner than before, 'What is it?'

"You didn't answer my...uh...question...Who. Did you. Draw?" Jack asked again, his eyes glowing menacingly. Once again, I had to be cautious.

"She's a character I made up in high-school. Why d'you ask?" I answered quickly. I didn't give him the details, just the basic story. But he still had that smile on his face.

"I thought she might be that person you're forever...uh...arguing...with. Late at night. When you're all by yourself..." he said softly. His smile grew as I went pink again. He chuckled and walked off, heading back to his house. The mad dog was done with his chew-toy; he'd pick it up again later. But this chew-toy kept squeaking and refused to stop.

"Jack, do you listen in on me and my...private conversations?" I said, following a couple of meters behind him. He kept walking calmly, but unfortunately for me he kept the conversation going.

"Just as you listen to _mine_? Yes-sir-ee!"

"What makes you think that I eavesdrop?" I asked. Jack turned around on his heel and faced me, smiling merrily.

"Well how else would you discover my...bea-utiful name?" he replied. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it...damn it. He was pretty smart for such an annoying/creepy/mysterious guy. I stopped in my tracks, both embarrassed and pissed off at the same time. That happened a lot in my life. Jack chuckled and continued his walk.

"I have no choice _but _to listen to you fight!" I argued back under Jester's impulsive attitude. "It's unbelievable that such an unhappy couple can stay together!" Oh hell. Not good. I quickly zipped my lip before anything else could spill out. Jack turned around slowly, smiling in such a scary fashion that I literally took a step back.

"What did I say about that sharp tongue of yours?" It was time to do what I always did in uncomfortably situations like this...

"Bye then." I quickly began walking up the pathway to the front steps of my house, only to find that a slinky grey cat came from the ajar door. Noodle. She meowed loudly before rubbing up to my leg with affection. Then she spotted Jack...and backed away slowly. I couldn't help but laugh. Pets were just like their owners.

"Coward," Jack muttered. But then, surprisingly, he followed behind me and held out his hand to the cat. Noodle sniffed it, wondering if it was food, before rubbing her face against his fingers and purring. I stared at the two of them as Noodle lovingly circled around Jack, nudging his leg for attention just as she had done when she was a kitten. I chuckled; it wasn't every day that Noodle warmed up to a person this quickly. I crouched down in front of Jack, Noodle purring in between us on the pavement.

"Jess, if Noodle likes him then the guy's definitely a winner," Jester said, appearing by my side. I didn't reply. If talking to yourself in private was bad enough, than talking to yourself in front of someone else is just plain disturbing.

"What's so funny?" Jack asked, scratching Noodle behind the ears. It was weird seeing him like this...especially after making a remark about his damaged relationship.

"Nothing...just figured that you weren't a cat person..." I said, still staring at my childhood pet. Jack was right, I was a coward. I didn't even have the nerve to look into his damn eyes. Noodle sat up and crawled onto my lap, setting herself down comfortably on my skinny-leg jeans.

"So what sort of person do you...figure I am?" he asked. So this was the punishment for making insults. I spoke my mind once, now I have to do it again. I blushed slightly, still keeping my head down, as I thought of a reasonable answer.

"I think...you're everything that I wouldn't expect in a normal person..." I finally came out with. Silence flowed through the air, only to be interrupted by a car racing down the road at full speed. I could hear police sirens in the distant: a chase was on. Jack must've heard them, too. For he quickly got onto his feet, leaving Noodle and I with puzzled expressions on our faces.

"Gotta run, toots," he said with a smile as he scruffed my curly blonde hair and walked off to his house. Noodle and I stared after him, both of us wondering what to do. And then I realized something...

I put my hand to my head and felt through my hair, feeling a sticky thing gluing hairs together. Ew. It was marmalade.

Note to self. Jack doesn't wash his hands after breakfast.

* * *

**CrazyA: **Ew, I hate marmalade. Oh, to those who don't think that the Joker is a cat person and are planning to tell me that in a a fiery comment of flames...GO TO HELL! In this story, he is. That's what I picture him as. Or at least an alley-cat person. And Noodle's a bit of an alley-cat cat. Please Review!


	4. Measuring Up

**CrazyA: **I is happy! Guys, Joker's on a lil' vacay (I can't be stuffed typing him in the intro every time ). But don't fret, he's in the story. ^^ Read and Review!

**4. Measuring Up  
**_**'If you're good at something, never do it for free.'- **_The Joker

So, of course, after the marmalade incident I had to wash my hair. That was a hassle, taking about a whole hour in the shower. I used up most of my shampoo and was even tempted to cut my hair in order to get rid of the sticky substance. But once I was finally putting in the conditioner, I received a phone call from...oh come on, guess who.

"Hi Jess, it's Thalia."

Fooled you.

"Hi, how are you going?" I replied, wondering why her voice sounded so hoarse. Maybe she had a cold or something...

"So-so...I only woke up about half an hour ago...after a late night out with the girls I always feel tired..." she lied. "Anyway, Jack said that you tried coming over to discuss your outfit but I was still asleep. I hope that I didn't take you out of anything important...I don't really like to waste other people's time."

"Oh it's fine, really..." However, I was a bit peeved about the fact that I instead had to be around Jack, the _real_ time-waster.

"Anyway, can you come around again now? I think we better get cracking on this project of ours."

And so, of course, I did. The first thing that I noticed about Thalia was a big black bruise near her eye, but I didn't say a word. She must've known that I'd seen it, because she kept trying to hide that part of her face all the time. Whenever her hair fell from behind her ear, she wouldn't put it away until five minutes later when she'd forgotten about what it was covering. I felt bad for her...and I loathed Jack even more.

He was obviously the one who had done this to her. Now they _both _had issues. She was a gambler. He was abusive. It was a wonder that they were still together. Jester was tempted to split them apart herself, but I knew it wasn't possible. But I'd have to talk to them about it...play the act of marriage counselor. I'd done it in the past with my friends and their rubbish boyfriends; I figured I could do it to these two.

"Hi, come on in," she said, waving me inside. She spotted the pile of papers in my arm and smiled. "Great that you brought over your sketches! I completely forgot about them!" I walked inside, sitting down immediately on their couch and putting the sketches on the table. Two mugs of coffee were on the table, indicating that it was just going to be Thalia and me talking. Brilliant, it was just what I wanted.

"I hope you like your coffee this way," Thalia said, sitting down opposite from me. In all honesty, I preferred tea with heaps of sugar to coffee. But I remained nice and nodded, saying that it was perfect.

"So before we start...how much will this whole thing cost me?" I asked her, getting my troubles out of the way early. Thalia nodded at the drawings, indicating that she wanted to see them.

"It all depends on fabric choice...pattern...detail..." I passed the drawings over, watching her eyes go huge. Yep...it was gonna be expensive. She smiled and chuckled slightly, skipping through the pages.

"You're a good artist..." she said. I shrugged.

"I can only really do cartoons...and I can never draw fingers..."

"Well the design looks...challenging...but, we accept any challenge." I smiled, knowing that it was a definite 'yes'. "But price...you're looking at about a thousand dollars." I nearly choked on my coffee. "But that's only because you need to buy all the material yourself. Is that okay for you?"

"Sure, I can do that."

"I'll probably ask Jack to go with you, he nearly never leaves the house and he's good with designs like this one..." Okay, can't do _that_. But I smiled and nodded for the second time in those few minutes. That's when I noticed something...where was Jack? Was he trying to sneak up on me or something? I looked around the room, wondering where he could be.

"Jack is in the work-room right now...he's got a project of his own in there that he's having a bit of fun with..." Oh yeah, the room from before...where he came out unexpectedly and slammed a door in my face. Good times. What was he making in there that was so important to him?

"Guess it's one of his many mysteries..." Jester said, flopping on the couch casually. "Ouch. Poor girl...maybe he isn't so charming after all..." she said as she spotted Thalia's bruised eye.

"Shut up, Jester," I replied.

"What was that?" Thalia asked, looking concerned. Damn it. No talking to Jester out loud.

"Oh nothing..." I replied quickly. Thalia stared at me for a second before closing her eyes as she took a deep sip from her mug. She suddenly put the mug down and quickly zoomed over to the kitchen counter, coming back with a black, office notebook.

"I just need to get a few details down before we start. Name and address are already taken care of...phone number, I have. _(AN- Don't ask me how, she does, okay?) _But we just need chest, height and waist measurements."

"What?" I snapped back into reality, finally peeling my eyes away from the workroom door.

"For the dress? We need your measurements so that we can get a right fit..." Thalia said, looking at me with more concern. "Are you alright? You're a bit...jumpy...Did Jack say anything to you?" I snapped into focus then, thinking that I could get a clue about him at last.

"No...Why? Does Jack say...things to frighten off people?" I asked, trying to tread on stable ground. Thalia smiled and shook her head.

"No, not at all. It's just that sometimes people get a bad first impression of Jack...I'm one of the few people who can look at Jack's eyes instead of his smile." Thalia went quiet, her voice growing far away until it disappeared from sight. She was smiling, though...probably deep in thought about something to do with him...remembering fond moments...their first kiss...something sweet and Disney-coated like that. Maybe that was why he stayed with her...

...she was all he had.

"Oh..." I said quietly, not sure how to react. "Don't worry, I'm not scared by him. He's kinda nice...besides, I've dealt with things that were considered frightening, too." Thalia smiled, breaking out of her own dream as well. "Anyway, where do we do the measurements?" Thalia stood up and knocked on the workroom door as I followed behind her.

"Jack? I just need to measure up Jessica for her outfit, can you scoot out for a second or two?" she called through the door.

"Oh no fair!" Jester whined from the couch. "I wanted to strip off in front of Jack!" She cackled away like a Halloween witch. At least she and Jack had one thing in common.

They could both be as scary as all hell when the laughed.

I heard the door unlock and Jack walked out, handing over a roll of measuring tape to Thalia. He kissed her on the forehead and walked past me, ignoring me completely. One minute he demands my attention and swipes marmalade in my hair, the next minute he's giving me the cold shoulder. But just as I was about to step inside, he did another one of those 'I-get-the-last-word-in-to-piss-you-off-as-you-leave' things.

"So I'm 'kinda nice' am I?" he said, mocking my voice. I kept walking, pretending that I didn't hear him at all, even though I was blushing. I do that often, don't I?

I'm going to spare the details 'cause I don't want any pervert coming and saying 'Oh so you're a double-D girl, huh?'. This _isn't_ true, by the way. But pretty much Thalia used the tape to measure my waist, chest, height, etcetera and etcetera. But her bruised eye was still a mystery to me...even though I knew its cause. And what the heck happened to her car? It was in the driveway one day, the next it had disappeared completely. I had to ask...I had to...

"So what do you think of the new District Attorney?" she asked.

"He seems alright..." I replied. Okay..._maybe _I'd ask. Okay..._now._

"I think he's just what the scum of Gotham needs..." she continued, noting down a measurement in her notebook. I shrugged my shoulders, which was what she had to measure next.

"I think he's too good to be true..." I replied. "No one can be handsome, smart and full of justice at the same time." Damn it. Stop getting side-tracked and just _ask her!_

"So you think he's handsome?" she said, smiling as she returned to me and my naked-ness. She measured my shoulders, and when she went away to note them down I shrugged them again.

"Yes and no..." I answered. "He's handsome in that sort of way...but not my way."

"So what guys _are _your way of handsome?" Thalia said, wrapping the tape around my chest. I thought about it for a second, there were a lot of answers that I could give. Cartoons...movie stars... fictional characters...there were many to choose from. But I just stuck with a simple answer: "Ones that are different."

Funny that I said that...'cause it's kind of what I ended up getting.

I love spoilers.

Wait, why haven't I asked her yet? Oh sod it. I'll do it some other time, when Jack is out of the house entirely. She closed the book and left me to get dressed, leaving the tape measure behind next to a sewing machine. I pulled on my t-shirt and black vest, the one spotted with five bright badges, and finally my black jeans. And, just as I reached out for the door handle to get out of the room...

...BANG! Straight into my head.

For the second time in two days, Jack had hit the door right in the middle of my face again. Coincidence? I think not. I took a few steps back, feeling dizzy. I heard Jack enter the room, probably smirking, but I had my head in my hands as I tried to stop the room from spinning.

"You know...you really should watch where you're going..." Jack said, watching me pinch the top of my nose to ease the pain. "There's only so much that a door can take-ah." He stroked the wood of the door lovingly as if it were a pet...or a person.

"Do you get paid to irritate me, or is it just a personal hobby of yours?" I snapped, blinking the world into focus. Jack laughed and grabbed my hand, making me look at him directly in the eye. Correction, _glaring _him in the eye.

"If you're good at something, never do it for free..." he whispered. He released me from his vice-like grip and pushed past me into the room. I rolled my eyes and started walking to the living-room, muttering something under my breath that might've changed Gotham forever.

"God, what a _Joker..._"


	5. Morning Stroll

**CrazyA: **First things first, some people may have noticed the new title change. I wanted the story to sound a bit darker, (coz boy will it be dark) and not so bright (or Mary-Sue). Speaking of which, I found an MS test online which is REALLY helping me! I'm proud to say that none of my OCs are Mary Sues! YAY! Read and Review!

**5. Morning Stroll  
**_**'Cause I know you really want me, I hear your friends talk about me. So what you trying to do without me, when you got me where you want me.'- **__Juliet, _LMNT

Just as Thalia and I planned, I arrived at the doorstep of number sixteen at exactly ten o'clock. My side of the bargain was kept; I'd be paying for all the materials myself and the bus fare for both of us. All Thalia had to do was order me around and give the final vote on my choice of materials.

I rang the doorbell, wondering if it would open. Was anyone even inside? I pressed the button again, growing both impatient and worried at the same time. After seeing Thalia's bruise, I was thinking the worst possible situations. I tried the door handle, but the thing refused to budge. It was locked.

"Hello? Is anyone in there?" I asked. But thankfully I heard the sound of jingling keys, which meant that someone was trying to unlock the door. I let out a sigh of relief as the door opened, only to reveal Jack standing there...surprisingly well dressed.

"What's the getup for?" I asked him. He was wearing black pinstriped pants, a shade of green on his shirt that I had never seen before and a loose black tie. He looked...he actually looked fairly well put together. It was weird seeing him like this...but in a good way.

"We're going for a litt-le shopping spree..." he said, walking past me and to the metal front gate. I looked behind me, but no one else was coming out. Where was...

"Thalia stayed at the casino's hotel last night-tah. So she said I had to take you shopping for your...pretty-princess-dress..." he said. He threw me the keys so that I could lock up the door. I caught them in one hand and did as told, throwing them back to him afterwards.

"Good reflexes," I said as he caught them the same way I did. "But...shouldn't you _not _be telling me about Thalia's problems and just cover them up like she does?"

"Well...seeing as you've been _rudely_ eavesdropping on our...private conversations..." he said with a smirk, I merely rolled my eyes. "I thought that you'd know about it by now...meaning that I don't have to 'cover it up-ah...'" And with that, we were leaving. I followed after him, like a dog after its master. Or a groupie after a rock-star.

"Keeping up, kitten?" he asked, seeing as I was walking about four feet behind him. I nodded, looking around me with interest. I had never gone down this part of Gotham before. I always took the other direction into the main city. Besides, whenever I walked I wasn't a talkative person. I liked my space, my space I liked. I loved to just...think. To not have to be hyper-active all the time and just slow down...

...until I rammed myself into a street-lamp.

"Looks like you're having a bit of trouble..." Jack said with a smirk as I carried on walking, shaking off the pain.

"You should know by now that I'm not the most graceful person in the world..." I replied, laughing. It was just the fact that I had been receiving a blow to the head every day in the past three days. So when I thought about it...

..._damn is my life messed up_.

And that just caused me to laugh. But for some reason Jack was staring at me with those freaky brown eyes again. My laugh tuned down into a chuckle before there was silence again...awkward, haunting silence.

"You might as well admit that you're spying on me..." he finally said. I turned around to see him, since I had been walking in front, and gave him another one of my puzzled expressions. "You're outfit proves it-tah."

"My what..." I started, looking down at myself. In some weird coincidence, we were actually dressed in a similar way. Formal but casual clothes (white short-sleeved blouse and black vest, without badges), both wearing ties (silver-blue, matching my eyes) and pinstriped bottoms (skirt.) Wow. I'd say great minds think alike, but I don't think of myself as a great person.

"This is just a coincidence," I replied before continuing the walk. I stayed strong, showing that he shouldn't be messing with my head again, before I reached a two-way path. I looked at both possible routes, both exactly the same, before finally admitting that I didn't know where to turn.

"Like all other plans, yours has backfired, Jess." Jester appeared a few meters away on the left path, tapping her foot and smiling smugly. I wasn't paying attention to her, though; I was looking over at Jack. He merely chuckled and took the path on the right.

"If you're gonna play 'follow the leader', at least know wherever you're leading your follower to..." After a few minutes of silence, we eventually found the bus stop. An old woman was already sitting on the bench there, but Jack just sat on the right of her, showing off his gruesome 'smile'. After a few minutes of stirring in her seat, she got off the plastic and went walking down the street to the next stop. Jack smiled, a proper smile, before pointing to the seat next to him.

"The bus won't be here 'til half past...take a seat-tah." I stared at the plastic bench for a second before sitting down, not sure if I really should be so close to him. Every time I was, I would get injured. But much to my relief, I was incident free. I looked down the street at the old lady who was shuffling off, feeling sorry for her. Hell, I feel sorry for muggers.

"Do people often do that when you sit next to them?" I asked, still watching the old woman walk away.

"Yes and no..." he replied calmly. "Depending on if they're cowards." I finally looked away from the wrinkled wonder and looked up at Jack again.

"Am I a coward?" I asked. He looked back down at me, smiling slightly. I continued staring into him, showing that I wasn't backing off either. Finally, he answered.

"Surprisingly, no."

"What do you mean by 'surprisingly'?" I asked, raising my eyebrows sarcastically. Jack laughed, making me smile more. Like Mum says, 'laughter is addictive'.

"How do I put this..." he said to himself, losing himself in his own thoughts. "You're everything I wouldn't expect in a...normal person..." he eventually quoted.

"Very original," I said, still smiling. But my attitude changed at once when I asked him... "How did you get it?" My smile faded as I continued staring into his eyes...I was worried that I'd never look away from them. He stared back... almost daring me to look away. I was tempted...

"My father...favored the drink-ah," he finally said, still staring. "And after each night at the bar...he'd take it out on mommy-dearest. One night when he went craz-ier than usual...he decided to take it out on me, too." He stopped and bent down closer to me, his nose nearly touching mine. And then he whispered in a sing-song tone, "You're sha-king..."

"What?" I exclaimed, backing off. I was blushing a bit, that much I knew, but the fact I was shaking came as a surprise. Must've been the mentioning of 'mommy-dearest'... I always feel horrible whenever I listened to news reports and things like that about rape and abusive couples...

"What happened to Thalia's eye?" I asked, suddenly remembering her. Yesterday, I wouldn't have dared mention it...I don't know what made me ask it so forwardly now. Jack sighed and backed off as well, losing interest in my hidden fear. His expression turned from frightening to pitiful at the thought of his wife.

"The mobster's who own a little place she often visits-ah...they let her off with a warning..." he said simply. "That's why you may have noticed our missing car..."

"I was wondering about that..." I muttered, more to myself than anyone else. I actually said it like it was absolutely normal for a person's car to be gambled away.

But then again, I'm living in Gotham.

"If it makes you feel any better, you're talking to a girl who had her very own addiction _and _survived it..." I said, staring into space again. I looked out of the corner of my eye to find Jack staring at me intensely, ready to play another one of his games...

"What to?" he asked slyly. Oh man...I was regretting this already.

"A bit of alcohol...mostly marijuana though..." I added, thinking it was best to come out with it before he starts driving me mad. "Just throughout my university years. But Mum and Susan helped me get over it...and I ended up losing the addiction quite quickly, once I found out how much it had upset them."

"Who's Susan?" he asked, not as slyly as before. Maybe he was actually interested in my life, not just my problems.

"Susan's my older sister. We've got four years of an age difference, but we always act like twins. Before the divorce, we didn't get on as well as we do now. But afterwards, we kinda needed each other...so we slowly got closer and closer until we eventually became not just sisters, but friends..." I said, smiling at the memories I had of her. "So what about you, have you got any brothers or sisters?"

"No...My old man decided-ah...he didn't want any other kids as...charming as me," he said, smiling. I wouldn't understand how that felt. To just be alone, never having anyone else to talk to. I'd also never be able to understand Jack himself...

"How do you do that?" I asked. "How can you just live through such a horrible childhood and then come out...well, slightly normal..." Jack chuckled in a high note, his whole body shaking. Okay...maybe not normal at all.

"This is Gotham, kitten...even playboy Brucie had watched his parents die right in front of him..."

"Really? That must suck..." I said, falling lower in my seat. Jack stared at me, raised eyebrow...obviously I hadn't clued in on something yet.

"How long have you been in this city?"

"About...three weeks."

"It shows."


	6. With Friends Like These

**CrazyA: **Look who's back!

**Joker: **She sprung me from Arkham....damn, I liked it there

**CrazyA: **Seriously?

**Joker: **Of course. Free food. Roof over your head-dah...charming company...

**CrazyA: **I saw you today at the Anime Convention I went to. A girl cosplayed as you and I nearly glomped her before my sister dragged me away by my hair.

**Joker: **Wait a minute...I was there...as a _girl?_ Oh pete...let's just start this, okay? Read and review.

**6. With Friends Like These  
**_**'...I know better, cause you said forever. And ever...who knew?'- **__Who Knew?, _Pink

When we arrived at the fabric store, my senses of touch and sight were at their maximum point of utter delight. There were about a thousand giant rolls of fabric, each one of a different material type and colour. Plus there were ones with different patterns and decorated with sparkles or sequins...

"This is awesome!" I said, looking around at everything. I left Jack's side and walked over to a shelf of cotton rolls, admiring all the designs and patterns. There were bright colours of the rainbow then deep dark shades as black as night. I was in bliss... I hadn't gone to one of these shops since high school. And I kinda missed it all...in some sad way...

"Aah...no," Jack said, pulling me roughly over to another wall of fabrics by my wrist. "You don't need cotton for your princess dress-sah..."

"For the last time, Jack. It isn't. A freakin'. Princess dress." I said angrily, even though I was smiling. He eventually stopped sharply at a wall of satin, bumping me into his shoulder.

Four head injuries in three days. That's a personal best.

"Ow," was all I said. He chuckled in his usual scary fashion as he pulled a small piece of paper out of his pocket. Written down were all the measurements and the type and amount of material I had to get.

"You. Need. Green..." he said out loud, more to himself then me. I browsed through the satin, trying to find the right type of green for the outfit. Too light...too dark...too ancient-looking... And then Jack suddenly pulled something from behind a few other rolls. Fresh-looking, but still fairly dark. Yep, that was her colour.

"Thanks..." I said, struggling with the sudden weight of it. He smiled and looked down at the piece of paper again, spotting another item on the list: black netting. He grabbed my wrist again and pulled me to the opposite side of the store. You could swear that we were doing this for an episode of the Amazing Race. But the whole time he seemed to be smiling.

"Do you like doing this sort of stuff?" I asked him out of curiosity, still being pulled around the shop.

"Yes and no...But once we get the um, gear for your dress...we can start on mine-ah..." he replied, an evil glint in his eye. He suddenly stopped (again) and pulled down a huge black roll of netting, shoving it in my arms.

"Hey, careful buddy!" Jester yelled, stopping me from falling over by supporting my back. "I'm gonna be wearing this stuff and I don't want it all creased!" Before I could say anything like this to Jack, he had pulled me off again back to the wall of satin and was starting to pull out a roll of pure black.

"Wait a second-" I started, but he just shoved the roll in my face and led me over to the counter. I put the fabrics on the bench top as we waited behind two elder women, buying some fabric for curtains and matching throw-pillows.

"Do we really have to run like that?" I asked, letting out a sigh of relief as my heavy load finally rested.

"No, of course not-tah. But let's face it, kitten, isn't it more...fun that way?" he said before handing me the piece of paper. I gave the girl at the counter all the amounts for materials, reading it straight from the paper. She cut all the fabric correctly, but every so often she'd be looking up at Jack's scar, nearly dropping her scissors each time. She piled everything in plastic bag, giving a weak smile at me as her shifting eyes stared at Jack.

"I never knew that people like you were still doing this sort of thing..." she said as I tapped in my credit card number. Great, now she thinks we're mobsters. Jack merely rolled his eyes, but I was boiling over. People making crude guesses about a person's life purely based on an appearance...it was so shallow. I grabbed the bag off of her, not bothering to listen to her 'have a nice day' comment and followed Jack.

"I still don't get why you're so calm about all this staring business..." I asked, eventually finding him looking at coat buttons. "If it were me, I would've been steaming."

"'Steaming'?" Jack asked, picking a packet up and examining them closely. "How do you come up with all these little...uh..._meanings_?" I shrugged; there were so many places I could list off that we might've been in that shop for a long time. "Why do you care-ah...so much?"

"I-I just do, okay?" I replied, looking from him to a nice set of deep purple buttons. He snatched them off of me and looked at them with a smile, before throwing them back to me. I caught them one-handed.

"Nice reflexes..." he commented, making me smile slightly. "Hold them," he ordered as he spotted another set, but in an olive green. "Kitten, you're going to have to tell me before I accidentally slam another door into that little old noggin' of yours-ah..." And I _really _didn't want to lose any more brain cells...

"I have an autistic brother," I answered. "I was almost ashamed of him...back when I was a kid. I couldn't have many friends over 'cause they didn't understand him like I did. I hated him for just being what he was...but as I grew up, I learnt that I shouldn't. He was still human, just different..." I finished, watching his reaction. Most people backed off slowly, gave a pat on the back or tried to understand my dilemma. But then again, Jack wasn't like any other person I've had in my life.

"You sure like to...complain...a lot, don't you, kitten?" he said, throwing me the other packet, which I caught in my free hand. Even though it was an insult, it was (in my opinion) the best reaction anyone's had when I told them about Mike. But there was one thing I still didn't get...

"Okay, we're done with the dress...so did you wanna put down the buttons and go get some lunch?" I asked Jack, who was still lurking around the shelves.

"No, no, no, no...We're not done here..." he said, still staring up at rolls of fabric. "I told you before-rah...we need to get things for _my_...loverly outfit..." _His_? Wait a minute...

"You're a transvestite?" I asked with my eyebrows raised. I wouldn't have been that surprised...he started howling with laughter, close to tears, as he stared at my struck-dumb expression that simply showed 'huh'.

"Oh no, kitten... save _that_ for your dreams..." he said, walking over to another shelf with silk materials. (And for a later part in the story...) I followed closely behind him, growing frustrated at my beloved pet name. Literally.

"Why do you call me 'kitten'?" I asked. "It makes us sound like we're a couple or something..." I added the last part quietly, almost ashamed to think of the two of us as a couple.

"Listen, _kitten_," he added with extra annoying meanings. "We aren't a couple, which would be disturb-ing-"

"You're telling me..." I muttered, hoping he didn't hear me. "Good, because I don't want you getting any ideas. We're just friends, that's all..." He stopped in his tracks and turned around slowly, looking at me with his eyebrows pinching in confusion.

"What did you say we were?" he had another sly smile on his face, but I had gotten used to these little tricks already.

"Friends," I answered calmly. I looked up at the row of silks, not wanting to see his expression as I explained. "Sure, you'll be annoying me till the day I die...and you _do _scare the living daylights out of me...but hell, a lot of my friends in high school did the same thing...just not on your level...so yeah..." He didn't say anything for a second, but soon a huge grin was spread over his face as he bent over in hysterics. I looked over at him out of the corner of my eye, rolling them like marbles.

"Oh ho, ho..." he chuckled, trying to stand up again. "Jess, my dear...you sure are a bucket of joys..." I stood still in my tracks as he pulled out a dark patterned roll of silk, going through my mind what he just said. I remained standing there, staring up at the silks while pretending to be interested in them as I attempted at hiding my blush. Suddenly, a hand blocked my view as it waved madly in front of my face.

"Hello in there?" Jack said, grabbing my pointed chin and shaking it for my attention. "Counter time." He started walking over to the same desk as before, but I quickly grabbed his shoulder to make him stay standing.

"You...you actually said my name..." I said, staring into space just above his shoulder. He cocked his head like a dog, filling my view with his big brown eyes.

"And?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. I snapped into reality, shrugging and letting go of him at last.

"Nothing, just figured you'd be calling me 'kitten' for the rest of my life..."

***********************************************************************

When we reached our homes at last, I noticed that the lights were still off at Jack's. Thalia was still out... I sighed as we walked down the street path in silence, both thinking similar thoughts. Jack didn't say anything, he merely jumped his metal fence and landed gracefully on his feet on the other side.

"What? No goodbyes?" Jester asked, sitting comfortably on the fence that separated the two houses. I stared after him as he reached the door, attempting to try and find his keys. Two nights he had been living by himself...two lonely nights...I felt really bad for him...he needed someone by his side. Maybe not his wife...

...but a friend was close enough, wasn't it?

"Hey, Jack?" I managed to squeak out. He stopped fumbling with his keys, his back still turned to me. "I-I know that you must be getting pretty lonely at night...and I know that I shouldn't get stuck in your own personal matters-"

"Get on with it, kitten," he interrupted. I was startled that he was actually listening to me...but I carried on anyway.

"So...my house is always open at night...and there's an extra bedroom that I'm mainly using for storage...but...yeah...j-just come over whenever..." I eventually finished, walking over to my front door in silent steps, trying to find my keys in the pitch dark. Damn, no wonder Jack was having trouble. Note to self: install porch lights.

"I've got a bit of work to do..." Jack called out as I finally found my key. "But don't be surprised if you hear...a bump-ah...in the night..."


	7. You Got Bumped

**Joker: **I'll be filling in for Jess today...see, she's kinda upset-tah...about something that happened. Her cat Noddle...the cat that she immortalised forever in this very story...is dead. While she was at school...Mummy came looking for her while she was in French and talked to her teacher-rah...She didn't look happy. Not. One. Bit. Jess was scared...she got out of her seat and went to her mother, wondering if something was wrong. Apparently, Noodle got cocky and tried to run under the closing garage door...

...it broke little Noodle's neck.

Mummy and Susan went to the Vet, but they couldn't do anything to help her. So she was put down... When her mother brought Jess home, Noodle was wrapped up in a towel and inside a little cardboard box-ah...lifeless and dead. She touched the little kitty's fur...but it didn't have the same, uh..._warmth _that her Noodle once had. She watched Susan and Mummy bury the poor dead kitty...sat next to the grave for what felt to her like years...

...and I'll tell you one thing...she wasn't smiling.

**7. You Got Bumped  
**_**'Something's getting in the way. Something's just about to break. I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.'-**__ Diary of Jane, _Phobia

Jack stumbled into the house, not-so-gracefully opening the door. It was at least one in the morning, and he had been up all night working on his 'little project'. He closed the door behind him, not caring if it woke Jess up with its creaking hinges, and slowly walked into the living room.

He hadn't been inside a house this clean in a long time. The walls were painted, the carpet had been removed of dirt, and everything looked...inviting. Like a person could actually _live _in there.

"It's all _very _Martha Stewart..." Jack muttered, rolling his eyes. He opened up a door, trying to find the spare room that Jess had mentioned. Nope, bathroom. There weren't any spiders or cockroaches like the ones in his own bathroom...the tiles were actually white and smooth, and the only thing that ruined the whole scene was the pile of clothes left messily on the bathroom floor. Jack recognized them straight away as Jess' outfit from their shopping spree. He closed the door, and spotted another one just a few meters down the wall.

"Door...number two..." he said to himself as he opened it up. It was a bedroom alright.

Just not _his_ one.

Jess was asleep peacefully in her own bed, pulling the warm purple doona close to her as she dreamt. What she dreamt, Jack couldn't tell, but he knew it was a good one by looking at the blissful smile on her face. Her hair was in tangles, she had been struggling to get some rest, and was spread all over her pillow. In some way, she looked rather pretty. In that whole, 'this-is-how-I-look-without-makeup-and-when-I'm-completely-out-of-it' kinda way.

"Goodnight, kitten..." Jack said as he walked off, leaving the door open. When he finally reached his room, he smiled at the emptiness of it. There was a simple bed, with nothing more than sheets and a pillow. Sleeping comfortably on the end of it was the cat from yesterday morning...Spaghetti or something weird like that. Jack picked her up with much ease and gave her a scratch behind the ears before dropping her mercilessly on the wooden floorboards.

"Time for some beauty sleep..." Jack muttered as he jumped onto the mattress, not bothering to pull up the sheets or even get changed out of his clothes. But, like every night, sleep didn't come straight away. It took hours for Jack's mind to stop thinking about the tomorrow and to actually shut down for the night...

...and only then would sleep come.

**************

I woke up slowly, my eyes growing used to the light coming through my window. I rubbed my eyelids, getting rid of whatever dirt and sleep had gotten trapped inside them, and sat up while stretching out my arms. My singlet was falling off my shoulders from the tossing and turning that I had done last night, making me exposed to the hot morning air.

"Rawr..." I muttered, facing the morning with much sarcasm. I was about to kick off my doona when I realized that there was another person in my bed. Well, _something_ else was in my bed. Noodle yawned, showing all her kitty teeth before giving me a half-hearted 'mew'.

"Hello, darling..." I said, picking her up and placing her gently in my lap. "I thought you were asleep in the spare room...how'd you get in here, anyway?" I looked up from her and noticed that my bedroom door was open, but I usually left it closed. I gave Noodle a final scratch behind her ears before I delicately dropped her on the floor, making sure she landed on her feet.

And sure enough, when I walked down the hallway and to the spare bedroom, I found Jack asleep in the bed. Well, technically _on _the bed. He had shoved all the sheets off, sleeping on just the mattress. He had a huge grin on his face and was looking straight up to the ceiling. Wow, he was scary even while he was asleep... I walked out of the room, feeling almost perverted for staring at him like this, and went to the bathroom.

"Morning shower, here I come..." I said, sleepily opening the door. I got undressed, throwing my jammies on top of my clothes from yesterday, and turned on the shower. I grabbed my iPod in its water-proof casing and turned it on, putting on my currently favourite song.

'_Grew up in a small town, and when the rain would fall down, I'd just stare out my window...' _Kelly sang in my ears as I stepped into the shower. I turned the warm water on full blast, letting it all soak into my skin. The grime that I felt after waking up washed away easily and I felt at peace once more.

_'I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky...' _the song continued as I washed my hair with '_Milk and Honey_' shampoo. _"And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change...and breakaway..."_ I sang along, massaging my scalp with the sweet-smelling rinse. I didn't hear the knock on the door...

"_Out of the darkness and into the sun, but I won't forget all the ones that I love..." _I continued, nearly at the top of my lungs as I rinsed out the shampoo and started lathering on the second rinse. Or the sound of him trying to kick the door for attention...

_"Wanna feel the warm breeze, sleep under a palm tree, feel the rush of the ocean..." _I sang, feeling completely free of the world and its troubles. Or the doorknob turning...

_"Get onboard a fast train, travel on a jet plane far away...and breakaway..."_I sang as Jack came in. I know what you're thinking...'eep'.Thankfully I was fortunate enough to have a steamy glass shower door...that made things just a little bit better.

"You have a bea-utiful singing voice..." he said loud enough for me to hear.

"WHAT THE HELL?!?" I screamed as I pushed the glass door open into his face. As he bent over in laughter, I grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped it tightly around my naked, soapy body.

"HOW THE HECK DID YOU GET IN HERE?!?"

"The door, obviously..."

"WEREN'T YOU ASLEEP?!"

"Until you woke me up..."

"HOLY HELL!!" I screamed again, pushing him aside so I could get out. "I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO PUT CONDITIONER IN!!!" I screamed out in anger. I hated it when people scared me like that, especially any mad neighbor who decided to crash in my house and nearly saw me naked. I slammed the door behind me and leaned against it, exhausted from the whole ordeal of screaming and getting worked up about it.

Noodle walked around the corner, tail in the air, and spotted me. She came walking to me calmly and sat just in front of me, an indication that she wanted to sit on my lap. Smiling, I slid down the door and crossed my legs, forming a seat for her in my lap.

"You still there?!" I heard Jack call from inside the bathroom. The tap was running as he took his own shower, leaving Jester desperately wanting to look inside.

"What do you want?" I called back, scratching Noodle under her chin.

"You looked so...frightened-ah..." he said, probably smirking. "Do I scare you?"

"There are things in the world that scare me more than you do..." I replied simply.

"Like what?" he asked, immediately thinking up a plan to freak me out. I didn't reply, I just kept stroking Noodle, holding her close to me and not caring that her fur was sticking to me.

But I didn't know then that my fears would become reality. That the unexpected would come alive...that my heart would burn and my stomach churn... But there was still a while between that moment and the time being...and in the moments between those two would be the actions and accidents that made it come to be.

**Dedicated to a kitty who's somewhere in the clouds... 4/2/09. We love you Noodle. - Jessica Jean**


	8. Other Girl

**Joker:** And here she is...you okay Jess? *pouting with fake sympathy*

**CrazyA:** Yeah...I-I'm cool...I've gotten over Noodle. I'm okay... I'm sorry for the short chap. last time, but...I wasn't really in the right state of mind for story-writing...So I've made it up to you by posting this ultra-long chapter instead. I've added an extra hint for who 'Hilary' really is, just read the italics. If you can guess who she is, you'll get a kiss from the Prince of Crime himself...

**Joker:** No tongue.

**CrazyA:** Ditto. So please enjoy! Like always, read and review! I'm so happy whenever I hear feedback from you guys! START YOUR READIN'!

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**8. 'Other Girl'  
**_**'And will we ever end up together? No I think not. It's never to become, for I am not the one.'- **__Sally's Song, _Nightmare before Christmas

_I stared at the two of them, my hands sweaty with regret and embarrassment.  
"What is it, Jackie?" Hilary said with a smirk. "What do you want with puddin'?" She knew perfectly well what I was there for. To confess everything. To spill out my heart. To share every emotion I felt for him.  
And she had taken him away from me.  
"Why are you here?" John asked, staring at me like a bug on a windshield: with disgust. I stood there on the doorstep, not believing what was happening. I stared into his deep hazel eyes, trying to find a possible and understandable lie for my beating heart.  
"I-I'm sorry..." I finally croaked out. Hilary's smirk grew as she wrapped her arm around his shoulder, she had won. And I was thinking all along that I had been running this race all by myself. "I can see you're busy...I'll just go."  
I walked off, alone, down the front path and to the metal gate. Somewhere along the racetrack I had tripped, fallen, and smashed into a million pieces as Hilary took the shining trophy.  
"C'mon puddin'..." she cooed, pulling on his black tie in her usual flirtatious manner. "Let's get back to our fun..." She walked away from her prize, hoping and knowing that he would follow. John stared at me as I stared back, praying that I wouldn't burst into tears. He closed the door on me, not even bothering to say goodnight, and left me with my bike and the creaking metal gate._"Finally..." I sighed with relief. "Chapter six is officially done..." I saved my file turned off my laptop, in a good mood at last. Jack had been bugging me all morning, reminding me every five minutes of the morning's 'accident'.

"More like 'incident'!" I had snapped at him. I still hadn't forgiven him for that...Jack was sitting in his workroom, focused on his secret project. I had to ask him about that... Once I find out about something, there's nothing I love better than bugging people for answers. Pity that he had the blinds closed, otherwise I might have gotten a clue on what he was making in there.

"Poor Jack..." Jester said with a smile as I drained my glass of red wine. "He needs us, Jess... He needs someone to love him..."

"Don't you dare think like that," I muttered to her/me/slash/this-is-getting-confusing. "He's fine, _I'm _fine. He's got Thalia, and I've got-"

"-no one," Jester interrupted. "I don't count, Jess...I don't even exist." She had a point...I poured myself another glass and walked over to the TV, putting in my current favourite movie: _Casanova_. Total yummers.

"Oh boy!" Jester squealed, appearing from the shadows onto the couch. "Got any popcorn?" I pressed play and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing a plastic bag of carrots. My version of movie snacks. They were nutritious, easy on the thighs, and my favourite vegetable. I stared at the packet of carrots for a second as the opening title came on, thinking my healthy lifestyle choice through...

...and dropped the freakin' carrots back in the vegetable crisper.

Before you say anything, I had been taking up _days _of my precious life to write one measly hormone-driven chapter. Not to mention that I was a single virgin watching a romance film with an Auzzie sex-on-a-stick actor. So I _needed_ the damn chocolate.

I pulled out a packet of Tim-Tams and a bowl of M&M's, hungry since I hadn't made any dinner for myself. A sacrifice I had to make for my precious novel. I tore open the Tams and lay comfortably on the couch, wishing desperately that I was the girl in each steamy moment. Man, did I need a life...

I looked from the TV to the window and stared into number sixteen. The lights were on, so Jack was still inside. The house almost felt empty without him...I really did feel like we were a couple. Jester was right, I needed to talk to someone. So that's why I grabbed the phone off of the end table and dialed Kait's number.

"Hello?" she said, tired and completely unimpressed.

"Hey Kait, Jess here!"

"Oh hi, what's up?"

"Not much, just watching several make-out scenes of _Casanova_ while gorging on Tim-Tams and other various munchies."

"Nice...I've been meaning to call you, by the way. How's your dress coming along?"

"Pretty well...I think...I haven't actually seen anyone work on it...But I went shopping for the fabrics yesterday with Jack and-"

"How is Jack?" she butted in, sounding livelier than before. No real surprise there...

"He's fine."

"Wait a minute, he went _shopping _with you?! What for?"

"Fabrics."

"Lucky," she muttered under her breath. "How's Thalia?"

"I haven't seen much of her, Jack says that she sometimes stays in Casino hotels for up to weeks...that's why he's staying with me."

"WHAT?!" Well, I had to tell her sooner or later, didn't I? I held the phone away from my ear as her voice boomed from the other side. "HE'S STAYING WITH YOU?! WHAT ABOUT THALIA?!"

"There's nothing wrong with what I'm doing," I said to calm both of us down. "We haven't slept together or anything stupid like that. I just figured that he might be getting lonely at night without her...so I invited him over to stay with me until she comes back. You know, for company."

"Fine," she said stubbornly, calmed down. "Just as long as this doesn't lead to a messed-up triangle of sick romance and lies and nakedness...then fine."

"Well..." I said vaguely, munching on a Tam. "The nakedness was an accident." I said it purely to see/hear her reaction, and I couldn't help but laugh. She was just hilarious whenever she went into another rant.

"BUT YOU SAID THERE WAS NO NAKEDNESS!!"

"Kait, am I calling you at work?" The line went silent for a second as Kait looked around at her surroundings, probably with a sheepish smile, and apologized to the people on her floor for her 'very urgent phone call'.

"I'm going to kill you next time I see you, do you hear me?" she hissed into the phone. I couldn't hear her, I was in hysterics. I nearly choked on my M&M's.  
"So...what did you mean by 'accident'?" Of course, she wanted details. Don't all friends want them?

"Look, he accidentally-on-purpose walked in on me when I was in the shower. That's it. The glass was all steamed up though, so I guess he couldn't have seen too much of me." I could hear her breathe I sigh of relief after I explained.

"Listen, my boss looks like he's about to kick me off of my chair for talking to you...so I gotta go. Bye!" She hung up before I could even reply. I sat there with the phone glued to my ear, listening to the sound of a broken connection. I sighed and put the phone back in its proper place. I couldn't call my family or any of my other friends because of bloody time difference...meaning I was alone. Was there anyone in this world able to talk to a single twenty-four-year-old?

"Open up! It's your old buddy here!" a familiar voice called from the beyond the front door. Of course, I had to say 'anyone'...I called out that it was open, and Jack let himself in. My eyes were glued to the screen, watching the movie with much interest on the particular scene, which for some reason gave him an excuse to 'tut'.

"Tut, tut, tut..." What did I tell you? "You really shouldn't be watching that-tah..."

"Let me guess, you're one of the people who believe TV rots the mind?" I asked, not letting my eyes look in his direction as I grabbed another Tim-Tam. Before I could have any say in the matter, he flopped beside me on the couch and grabbed the remote, changing channels.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, immediately pissed off. "I was watching that!" He didn't care, he just flicked through channels. He paused for one moment at a news station, reading the headline with a groan before flicking through more channels. "Another victory for the bat..."

I blinked, even though it wasn't really that surprising for me. "You're not a fan of Batman?" I was, even though I hadn't been in Gotham for long. Someone standing up against crooks and criminals and mobsters...like someone straight out of a comic book or something... whatever. What matters was that one man (who looked damn good in black) was giving light to the darkness.

But Jack just laughed, shaking his head. "Oh, I'm a huge fan..." he said, still chuckling. "I just think that it's...disappointing...to see him win all these fights without any true challenge." I nodded, taking it all in. I had to admit, he was right.

"The guy comes straight out of a comic, right?" Jack continued, searching me for honest feedback. I nodded. "So he needs a villain...someone on his level of..." He searched for the right word, which I provided with a little help from Jester. "Badass?"

Jack blinked and smiled at me, close to a grin. "Never before have I heard you swear..." I shrugged and pointed to the half-empty wine bottle on the coffee table.

"The devil's liquor can loosen the tongue..." I said, with a shy kind of smile. Jack raised his eyebrow, but didn't give any response, merely turned to the TV. "I though you were a recovering alcoholic..." he reminded me.

I nodded, and sipped at my glass, thinking through my witty comeback. "But that doesn't mean I have to quit on it completely. I can still have a couple of glasses if I do something completely awesome."

"And what would be this..." he winced as he did quotation marks, "'completely awesome'...thing that you did today?" I smiled and gestured to the laptop sitting on my desk.

"Finished a chapter on my story..._finally_..." I said, still smiling. When I drink, I smile a lot. Just one of the side-affects, I guess. "So I decided to treat myself by opening up a bottle, getting a few dozen chocolates out, and putting on a chick-flick. Speaking of which, flick back to _Casanova._"

"Not with me in the room."

"Then leave."

"I'm not moving."

"Why?"

"'Cause I want to watch what happens when you get drunk..." he said as he put the remote down at last and grabbed the bottle of red, pouring another glass for me. I watched his eyes as he filled the glass, nearly to the brim, not breaking from his gaze. I wasn't going to do anything stupid. This glass would be my last one.

And so was the next one.

And the one after that.

And...the several after that.

"Did you know that this is my favourite show of...all time?" I asked Jack, Tim-Tam still in mouth as we watched 'Funniest Home Videos'. Jack and I were howling with laughter, screaming whenever a toddler kicked his father in the groin or a cat fell off a table while hunting a toaster. It was one of those moments were no-one seemed sane, but we still had a good time.

"_Well thanks a lot for watching, folks! We'll see you next week on..." _the presenter turned to his audience, who screamed out to the cameras "_THE FUNNIEST SHOW ON TV!" _Jack and I groaned as the credits came on, slumping further into the couch. Jack flicked through channels as I dropped M&M's into my mouth, one by one, feeling them hit the back of my throat.

"Anything on?" I managed to ask, though my mouth was full of Ms.

"Not much..." he replied. I sighed and got off the couch, trying not to trip over my own feet as I skipped over to the other side of the room and to my desk. Jack watched me, brown eyes glinting, as he realized his plan had worked. I wasn't drunk enough to fall about the place, but I was drunk enough to be impulsive.

"What are you doing?" he asked, still watching me from the comfort of the couch cushions. I ignored him and turned on my laptop, going to iTunes and putting on my 'top-rated' playlist. Of course, the first song to come one was '_Sober' _by P!nk.

"Who is this whiny person and how can I get rid of her?" I rolled my eyes and kept searching through my songs, finding one 'to suit his highness' tastes'. _'Viva la Vida' _by Coldplay? I shrugged and turned it on, looking over for the final judgment. Jack stared at me, listening to the violin part...and shook his head. Good God, he was picky...

"Well sod it, I'm gonna put on this..." I said, putting on at last '_Sally's Song' _by the always gorgeous Fiona Apple. The strong, heart-like beat came on as Jack stood up, his hand outstretched to me. I stared at him for a second before curtsying, playing the role of a civilized young girl even though I could barely stand.  
I stepped forward in time with him, taking his hand as he bowed his head towards me in respect. And so we danced...

_I sense there's something in the wind that seems like tragedy's at hand._The glow and flicker in his eye...I couldn't trust him...but the sudden pull of my curiosity landed with me in his arms, his arm comfortable around my waist and my arm on his shoulder. Our free hands locked as we swayed, floating through the room...

_And though I'd like to stand by him, can't shake this feeling that I have._He led, I followed. It was as simple as that. But my heart was pounding so hard that I could barely breathe. He had a wife..._who was always out all the time_...I was drunk..._so I wouldn't remember anything anyway..._this was bad..._but it felt so damn good._"Your boyfriend would be pretty mad about this, huh?"

The worst is just around the bend…

"I don't have a boyfriend..." I replied, being both honest and flirtatious at the same time. Damn it, Jess...get a _grip._Someone was coming around the corner in a bright yellow cab right as we spoke. Things were going to be bad...

_And does he notice my feeling for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it's not to be..._My grip on his hand became tighter, I wanted him closer to me...for reasons I had no idea why...I did like him...but I wasn't _in love_ with him...besides, he had Thalia...

...my grip on him became weaker at the very thought.

_What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions lead us then?_"We should-" I started, but he shushed me as we continued floating through in time to the song. I fell silent, but my mind and heart were telling me otherwise.  
Thalia opened the front door, turned on the light and looked around for her husband. She gasped as she looked through the window, seeing everything that she didn't expect and want...

_Although I'd like to join the crowd in their enthusiastic cloud, try as I may it doesn't last._"You've got him now..." Jester said from the couch. "Thalia won't be back...he's all yours..." I didn't reply. I just stared at Jack, his deep eyes calling me closer and closer...

Thalia's eyes filled at the sight of them together. Dancing so close... she walked out the door and slammed it behind her.

_And will we ever end up together? No I think not...it's never to become...for I am not the one._I kept staring at Jack, my own eyes on the brink of tears. This was wrong...this was dangerous...

...but this was so perfect.

The instrumental part of the song guided as through the room, my hand in his, as I became lost in a mix of guilt, pleasure and wine-soaked worries...

"This is fun, really...but I..." I could barely talk, my head was spinning. Too much thinking plus too much drinking equaled up to me feeling nauseous. I fell forward , tripping over my feet and into Jack, who caught me and pulled me back onto my feet.

"You really _are _clumsy, aren't you?" he said, grinning away. I chuckled with him, no longer dancing but just standing, my hand tightly clutching his shirt for support as I pulled myself up, an inch away from his face.

...that scar looked really tempting...

...and the door opened...

I looked over from Jack as Thalia stood there, her eyes filled with tears and her mascara dripping down her face. She glared at me, at him, at _us. _Another woman was on _her _man, the whore's face only an inch away from his.

And he was just standing there, smiling all the while.

"You...you bitch!" Thalia screamed at me, storming over. I broke away from Jack at once, nearly falling onto my back in the process. "How dare you!?! I'm away for a few days in hospital and you just try to make your move on him?"

"I wasn't doing anything!" I screamed back. She slapped me across the face, my cheek burning with both fury and pain. I clutched my sore cheek, mouth open in shock. I never knew she was so protective over her 'property'. "And what the hell do you mean by 'hospital'? You've been gambling away again, just as you do every goddamn night!"

She slapped me again, harder and with far more fury. I didn't slap her back. I wouldn't _dare _hit another girl even if she provoked me. "It's true though, isn't it?!"

"I don't need you butting into my private life _or _my husband!" she replied, still crying and screaming all at once. "Why is he even over here with something like _you?!_" I stared at her, truly hurt as she continued. "You're just the 'other girl' in his life! Just another face! And a fuck-ugly one at that!"

"At least I'm there for him!!" I screamed over the top of her, getting sick of her already. "At least I'm there when he needs a friend!! At least I'm there whenever he wants someone to talk to! At least I'm here at home instead of gambling away money on one-armed bandits!!"

"_SHUT UP!!_" She screamed, her voice growing into a high-pitched scream of anger and panic. "You just think you're so _great _don't you?! You'd just love to get your hands all over _my_ husband!!"

"Stop talking about Jack like he's a fucking..._bookcase!!_" I yelled, letting everything that was hidden away out in the air now. "What do you want me to do?! Show you my sheets so that you can see if we'd shagged?! Do you wanna go through my rubbish bin to go hunting for used condoms?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"

"_I WANT YOU TO STAY THE _FUCK_ AWAY FROM ME AND MY HUSBAND!" _She screamed as loud as she could, just in case I had gone deaf from all the other times she had yelled at me. "_I WANNA WATCH YOU BURN IN HELL! I WANT YOU TO-"_

"Thalia," Jack interrupted. She turned to him, her angry glare fading away into a series of sobs and weepy eyes. "Don't yell like that...it's driving me mad..." She groaned with frustration and walked out the house, seeing that she wasn't going to win any wars...

Jack looked at me with a grin before walking out the door, following his wife.

"You knew, didn't you?" I called after him, my voice hoarse. He turned around and stared at me, his eyes still containing the familiar glint of mischief and insanity. "You wanted her to see us like that...just to see what she would do..."

His smile grew and he nodded, finally walking after his wife at last. I stared at the empty space, just as the final lines of the song came through...

_And will we ever end up together? No I think not, it's never to become. For I am not the one..._

_

* * *

_

**Joker: **Wait a minute, didn't I dance with Nicki in Joker-is-sexy's (love the name, by the way...) Eye Candy?

**CrazyA: **Shut up. *Recieves evil glare of guilt-trip* Fine. Plagerism (if that's how you spell it...) is bad, kids at home. But I was looking through the old chapters of Eye Candy and I desperately wanted to be in Nichole's place....Plus, I needed us to do something romantic but not a full-on-snog...all will be explained later. PLEASE REVIEW!


	9. I Wanna See

**CrazyA: **We're back online! Woot!

**Joker: ***very sarcastically* Woohoo.

**CrazyA: **Since I don't know much to say right now I'll confess something...Joker-is-sexy...I'm sorry. I thought your real name was Meg when it turns out your name was Kait. I'M SO SORRY! I had to go back and edit several chapters...I'm really sorry....So readers, _Meg=Kait _in case you get confused. Enjoy!

**9. I Wanna See  
**_**'Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask her if she wants to stay awhile.'- **__She Will Be Loved, _Maroon5

When I woke up, I couldn't believe that I had actually fallen asleep. I had been tossing and turning all night, trying to listen in on the argument Jack and Thalia were having...about me...I felt awful, not just physically (damn hangovers...) but mentally also. My guardian angel only had one thing to say to me, and that was a simple 'You fucked up, bitch.'

But it wasn't entirely my fault. Jack admitted that he wanted her to see us like that. I still couldn't get those eyes out of my mind, the mischievous glint of chaos that he carried around with him. After yesterday's incident, they were glowing like stars. I had to find out what he wanted from me... even if that meant walking over to apologize to Thalia.

"Oh crap..." I moaned, not wanting to get up. Noodle was asleep on my lap, looking very calm about the whole situation. People say that pets can heal sickness and bring relaxation to anyone's situation.

That's total bull.

My head was pounding with my stupid hangover and my heart was heavy with guilt, anger and curiosity. Not to mention that there was a fluffy thing on my lap that was crushing my stomach and making me sneeze. I slowly sat up, trying not to disturb Noodle, and scratched her gently behind the ears.

"What should I do, pumpkin?" Yes, I call my cat pumpkin. Better than 'widdle-liddle-cootie-wootie'...Noodle kept purring, enjoying the fact that she had all eyes on her. I knew how to decide this problem...I'd leave it up to my cat.

I know that I'm weird, okay?

If she shook her head when I poked her nose, then I live life as normal and wait until Thalia and/or Jack came to me to apologize and explain. If she licked my finger, then I'd apologize. It was time for the moment of truth...

Poke.

Lick.

Damn it.

So there I was, pounding head and beating heart, waiting patiently at the front door of number sixteen. I had a feeling that I wasn't welcome anywhere near the place, but some other part in me had faith that Jack had patched everything up.

I knocked on the door, feeling sick just thinking of last night's argument...I didn't want to repeat it. The door opened and...

"Hiya, kitten..." Jack greeted. That relieved _some _tension... I exhaled, relieved with the sudden stroke of luck. "So...you okay?"

"Is Thalia okay?" I asked straight away. Jack nodded, causing me to smile... something I had no idea I would ever do that morning.

"A bit of a talking-to, a few fluffy moments..." he said, nodding at his own self-brilliance. "It's all it takes..." There was still more to uncover, though...

"Why did you want her to see us..." I stared at him, finding the end of my sentence. He raised an eyebrow, wanting me to continue what was on my mind. He wanted to watch me blush and stutter...and it worked. "W-Why did you want her to see us like that?"

He smiled, but didn't say anything. His lips were sealed. "Do you even _love _Thalia?" His smile grew and he chuckled softly, as if I was a toddler who could barely stand.

"I'll tell you my secret if you tell me yours-ah..." he said, taking a step towards me. I took a step backward, trying not to trip over. What was he playing at? What secret? I have a secret?

"Who's the girl in the drawing?" he said, smirking. "The secret girl who you want to play little pretend games with..." My face went red. "Oh yes, you know who I'm talking about-tah..." I noticed now that his heavy accent-tah came only when he was angry or making fun of me...whenever he had the flicker in his eye. "The girl you wanna dress up as...the girl that you are secretly longing to be...so very..._desperately._"

"I-I told you, I made her up when I was a teenager..." I repeated, in a tiny whisper of my usual voice. Jack took another step forward, like a lion stalking its prey.

"You know, I couldn't help but notice something..." he said, chuckling to himself. "Last night, before our little dance-"

"-how on Earth could I ever forget?"

"I couldn't help but notice you were...louder...than you usually were..." He was catching onto the game awfully fast... "You were stronger...more fiery...and just a little bit bad..." He took another step, a quick one, which made me jump and take another one back. I was at the bottom of the front steps now...

"You had that little...flicker...in your eye," he continued, practically beaming. "And in that one little..._glow_? Yes, that's it. In that one little glow, I saw a whole new world...no, a whole new _side_..." He stopped moving altogether, but I still felt like I was being cornered into the cave walls, waiting for my slow and painful death. "You wanna know what I think?"

"I'm not entirely sure that I do..." I replied, that glow was long gone now. Jack giggled in a pitch so high for a guy I wouldn't have been surprised if a window shattered.

"Well, I'm gonna tell you..." he leaned closer to me, so close that I could feel his breath against my face as he whispered in a hiss... "I think...that the other side is, in fact..._spectacular_."

As terrifying as he was, the darkness of his heart that he was revealing to me was more believable than the show-pony act that he put on for Thalia. And he showed that side to me...girl-next-door-Jess...

"Jester..." I said calmly. "Her name's Jester..." Jack chuckled, thinking that I was scared. I wasn't... not that much...but I did think that it was all fair...he showed his true colours...I showed him my alter-ego. Simple as that.

"Jack, who's there?" Thalia called from inside the house. His entire attitude changed at once and he transformed back into the 'loving husband'.

"Just Jessica from next door..." he called back. It was weird hearing my proper name, after so many years of 'Jess' and a couple of days of 'kitten'. Thalia came outside, dressed in her dressing-gown and nightdress. She had only just woken up from the looks of it.

"Hi..." I said quietly, not really knowing what to say or do in this awkward situation. Shuffling from one foot to the other, I finally came up with something. "I-I'm really sorry for everything I said yesterday...it wasn't right for me to go on about your private life..."

Thalia wasn't looking at me; she was staring at the dusty porch floorboards. "Its okay, Jack explained everything to me," she said in a tone that didn't bear any true emotion. She obviously still hated me, it was all in her body language. And she didn't even apologize for all the rubbish she had said about me. But she still walked over to Jack, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his stomach as if nothing had happened at all.

So that's what this was about.

She wanted me to know that Jack was untouchable, forbidden, _hers. _She was uncomfortable with the fact that I had been dancing with her man. Fine. I didn't want him anyway after that little incident. That glimpse into his dark mind was enough for me, thank-you very much.

So how come I was still pissed off?

Must've been that she hadn't apologized to me yet...

...right?

"Oh, I have something to give you," she said with an emotionless smile. She ran inside for a second before running back out again, a piece of paper in her hand. She handed it over to me and watched as I unfolded it and read what it said.

"It's the address for the corset shop," she said. "I figured you could go down there with someone later in the week and pick up something for your outfit."

"Would this someone be you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. She shook her head.

"As much as I'd like to, I can't. I'm busy..." Even after that fight, she couldn't even confess that she'd be gambling again. Next time we fight, I'm beating it into her.

"I'll take Kait, see if she's interested. Who knows, she might need a costume herself..." I replied, not showing any signs of anger and jealousy. But somehow, Jack could still see my inner battle with Jester, and he had a huge smile on his face that proved it.

"By the way," I decided to but in, distracting myself from his dark eyes and smirk. "How's my dress coming? Can I see what you've done so far?"

"I'm afraid that the answer is no," Jack said before Thalia could do anything. "You'll have to wait for the end results." I nodded, angry on the inside but plastering on a smile. I am a very impatient person, no matter what I try. So it was everything I had to keep holding onto sanity and not letting Jester suddenly whine-

"_BUT I WANNA SEE IT!!"_

When I got back home, which obviously didn't take that long, I straight-away had to call Kait.

"Hello?" Sounded better than yesterday...

"It's Jess again!"

"Hey there, did you have a good night with Cass?"

"Yeah the movie was good, I've seen it before but-"

"No, Jess...your _other _Casanova..." I could hear her trying not to burst into laughter. "Your 'Handsome Jack'!" She couldn't hold on much longer...and she burst. I could hear her laughter right in my ear...even though the phone was arm's length away from me.

"'Handsome Jack' is fine..." I said, smiling a bit at his beloved nickname. "But...there was a bit of trouble last night..." The laughter stopped at once. "Um...Thalia found out...and took it the wrong way..." I didn't dare tell her about me getting drunk or the two of us dancing...she would've flipped out like yesterday.

"Oh crap..." was all Kait had to say. I didn't blame her for the language; 'crap' was the only word going inside my head too.

"But everything's kinda back to normal now so don't panic..." I heard her sigh with relief as she returned to a cheerful mood.

"Don't scare me like that, Jess..." she said, I could hear her smile through the connection. "I do worry about you, you know."

"Yeah, I know..." I replied, drifting off into a bit of a daze. "Say, Thalia gave me an address to a corset shop... do you wanna come with? You _must_ be needing an outfit for the party next week..."

"Sure, why not?" Kait said in her usual bubbly manner. "I was thinking of something bright, you know, eye-catching!"

"What about blue?" I replied, starting up a girl-talk conversation. "Blue's a good colour on you."

"Nah, something warmer...maybe pink?"

"What about red?"

"Depends on what shade and cut...'cause you can go full-on sleazy with a low v-cut halter-dress in bright lipstick-red...but then you can have a rose colour in the same cut and it's not as bad..."

"Speaking of roses, I might be painting a mural on my wall...like a street-style painting..."

"Neat! Will you be hiring a professional or just your nearby Handsome?"

"I can't imagine Jack as a painter, I'll do this one myself..." I said after I finished joining her in a chorus of laughter.

I won't bore you with details, but let's just say our 'little conversation...'

...lasted for an hour and a half.

"So when did you want to get going?" I asked when we were finally out of topics.

"Going where?" she asked. I reminded her. She swung back into reality. "I've got nothing planned, we can leave now if you want to. Where's the shop?"

"75A Red-Letter Avenue...Jameson..." I heard her scribbling down the address as I continued, "Do you mind picking me up?"

"Oh no prob! Just let me get some gas and I'll be right round. See ya!"

"Bye, Noodle-fish!" Kait called as I locked the door and turned from the house. Noodle would be fine wandering around the backyard for a bit. We'd only be about an hour or so, anyway. I closed the metal gate behind me and got into Kait's car, the silver coat glowing in the sunlight.

"Where are you off to?" A voice called out. Oh bugger.

"Hey there!" Kait called out. "You must be Jack!" She got out of the car at once and walked over to him, holding out her hand. "Jess has told me so much about you!"

His smug smile grew as he looked over to me, dark eyes blinking innocently. "Have you now?"

Jester knew exactly what to say in this situation, and I appreciated the words that flowed from my mouth. "Yeah, Kait loves a good horror story..."

Jack chuckled and looked back at Kait, his smile beaming brighter every minute. "Kait's a lovely name..." he said cheesily, making her smile grow even more. It was a wonder that she could look him in the eye...I though that her attention would be on his exposed forearms. "So where _are _you fine ladies off to?"

"We're shopping for my corset," I answered. "As girlfriends do in the twenty-first century..." I didn't want to invite him, I knew that Thalia (and even Kait, as much as she fancied him) would chuck a fit. But Jack seemed interested...for reasons I didn't know and _still _don't know why.

"Mind if I...tag along?" he said, beaming pure innocence. Kait's smile was huge, mine was barely there, and his crooked scar was curved all the way up his face in his usual grin. "Thalia isn't in at the moment and I could use a day out in the town..." Damn Thalia and her addiction...even after last night, too...

"Sure!" Kait said, walking back over to the car. "Just jump in the backseat with Jess and we'll be on our way!" Jack smiled and got in the car, watching me with eagle-eyes as I got in my own seat and strapped myself in.

"What are you doing?" I hissed to Jack as Kait struggled with the engine. "Thalia's going to kill you if she sees you with me again..."

"Well, _Jester..." _he said, smiling at my new name. I scowled and hit him in the shoulder with my elbow, pretending to struggle with the belt-lock. "I wanna see what your pretty girlfriend is like...and more importantly-yah...what _you're _like..." His voice had taken on that darkness again, giving me shivers down my spine.

The engine started, causing Kait to give a victory cry at her success, and we were on our way.


	10. Faith and Chaos

**Joker: **I can't believe it...

**CrazyA: **What?

**Joker: **People are actually _subscribing _to this garbage! Plus the fact that I'm going on a shopping spree with you for the second time in _one _story.

**CrazyA: **That's another thing. THANK YOU SOOO MUCH YOU GUYS! You guys are seriously awesome, I wouldn't be writing this if it weren't for your gorgous replies and addings. Also, this is my longest chapter EVER. Seriously, it's about seven pages long...that's HEAPS for me. Well, as always, READ AND REVIEW!

**10. Faith and Chaos  
**_**'I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy. Just like all my thoughts, they always get a bit naughty. When I'm out with my girls, I always play a bit bitchy. Can't change the way I am: sexy, naughty, bitchy, me.' **__– Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me, _Lene Alexandra

Jack had his head hung out of the car window, his limp brown hair getting lost in the wind. It looked so pleasant that I did the same...I hadn't done this since I was a kid...it was kinda fun...I smiled, feeling the wind in my own tangled locks of gold...

"BLAGH!" I suddenly screamed, falling back into the car. Jack and Kait looked over from their spots to me, wondering what the hell was wrong. And then, of course, they laughed like crazy. I had bug splatter right in the middle of my face, spread like jam across my forehead.

"Shut up," I retaliated, more to Jack since he was laughing the loudest. We had to cross through the main part of Gotham to find my corset, so there was more traffic out and around. Most of the people were uptight businessmen, so they stared at Jack in disbelief as Kait and co. drove past.

With music loud and heads outta windows, we _seriously _didn't fit in.

Kait laughed as she handed over a box of tissues, still keeping her eyes set straight on the road. I grabbed it off of her, still scowling at Jack, and wiped my face clean. Jack, of course, had to butt in with his remark:

"Kitten, you really _did _look better with it on..." I hit his shoulder again, getting sick of his remarks. He merely laughed it off, grinning at me. I couldn't help but smile back...

"They need some damn parking spots..." Kait said in the usual angry tone that drivers-who-are-trying-to-find-a-parking-spot usual have. I looked at our destination, it wasn't _too _bad I guess...But it definitely wasn't a professional place. It was a two-storey shop, 75A at the top and 75B at the bottom. The building was painted a bright red, with a set of rusty iron stairs that led to both up and downstairs. Outside 75A was a mannequin dressed in a classic Victorian corset and skirt, parasol neatly balanced by its side.

Outside 75B was a group of teens looking rather stoned.

The three of us hopped out of the car (once Kait parked after five minutes of searching and adjusting and swearing) and walked up the stairs. Well, _Kait and I _walked up, Jack went downstairs to the shifty-looking 75B. I stared after him as Kait waltzed inside the shop with a smile and glittering eyes.

"I'll catch up, kitten...I'm sure you can do without me for a few minutes..." he called, still smiling. I rolled my eyes and followed Kait indoors, who was already doing little dances for joy.

I couldn't help but dance with her.

It was gorgeous, all lace and ribbons and even some leather numbers. Buckles, buttons and bows. The three elements of a corset shop. They had some expensive dresses on mannequins, but most were hung up on clothing rails. They had a series of masks and other weird things up on display, which made me go mad over one thing in particular...

...a green and black jester's cap...

I picked it up and tried it on my head, ruffling up my hair to look more like my inner demon. Looking in the mirror, my smile was nearly as big as Jack's. I looked over to Kait for approval, but she was looking through the dresses with absolute interest.

"Yes!" she cried, picking out a dress labeled 'Tea Party Princess'. White puffy sleeves and a black corset, with a short red skirt with black ribbons around the edges, it was very gorgeous and _very _cute. "What do you think?" She held it up to her figure, pressing it to her stomach. "I'll ask someone how to try it on, but I always need the approval of a friend..."

"Sure, go nuts." She seemed happy with my answer as she flew off to the girl behind the counter, asking for assistance. I was left to myself. I looked over at the leather corsets, picking at them uncertainly with my fingertips. There were some simple leather things, but a lot of it was dominatrix gear and even 'uniforms'. I happened to be looking at a nurse costume just as Jack came in. Of course. God must _really _hate me.

"You can always go as that to the party, Jester..." he said, coming up behind me. "But I prefer my jester to be in her proper dress..."

"Wait, what do you mean '_my' _Jester?" I asked. "And if you like the dress so much then _you _can wear it."

"Maybe I will."

"Fine, you do that."

"Fine."

"Fine."

He turned me around forcefully, so that he could see my face, and smiled. My shoulders hurt from where he had grabbed and pushed me, but I was mainly focused on his eyes...it was all I _could _focus on.

I know I've bored you to death about Jack's 'handsome brown eyes' and his 'mischievous glow'...but trust me; his eyes are the easiest way to tell what mood this bipolar monster is in.

This time they were dark as night, but slightly wider than usual as if he'd seen a legendary movie for the first time or the Sun explode on itself. Something about my smile, my eyes, my messed-up tangles from the ride here...my jester's hat. He had an epiphany, an idea, a spark of imagination...

...and boy was it a dark spark.

If I had a dip inside his mind (which would be so confusing I'd kill myself after five minutes of it) then this is what I'd see...

_...Explosions, smoke and falling ash. Blood dripping from my mouth and hands, but my expression blissful and manic at the same time. Jester's outfit on me, giving me her tight dreamy figure. My hair in a mess, with soot and oil and other combinations wound through it all._

_And big, dark circles around my chalk-white face...with a tiny upside-down spade sign on my left cheek and black lipstick._

"What is it?" I asked, poking my own face. "Do I still have a bit of bug-splat?" Of course at the time I was oblivious to his epiphany. So I just glared at him, thinking that a staring-contest was under way. I blinked and shrugged his grip off of me.

"I don't care if the hat looks stupid in _your _opinion..." I said, pulling it down tighter onto my noggin' as I made my way to another row of non-leather corsets. "I'm buying it anyway."

"No, no, no...the hat suits you..."

I paused in my tracks and turned around slowly on my heel, looking him in the eye. "Say what now?"

_A gun in my hand, aimed at another shopper's head as I laughed a high-pitched choir of notes and thunder-claps._

"It suits you..." _Blood flying everywhere, dripping down my arms...still smirking and laughing and crying all at ..._

He came followed me over to the other side, examining corsets with me with the mysterious smirk that only meant his clockwork was ticking. (Don't say anything...you know I'm talking about his brain...) "So who _is _Jester?"

He was going to get it out of me one day, so I decided to tell him then and there. "She's everything vicious, gorgeous and overall _bad_ that I desperately want to be..." I said, smiling at the thought. "It may sound pretty messed up, but it's true...now and then I want to be someone stronger, more _fun_...and not a passive little thing who types her stories all day." Jack nodded, taking it all in with the same smirk. "Since we're playing 'Questionaire' that makes it my turn. What's your last name?" The question had been bugging me for quite some time now...

"We aren't playing a game, kitten..." Jack said. "But maybe if I get a few more questions in, I'll tell you...deal?" I shrugged, not really caring as I was focusing on finding the right corset at the time. "Okay...where do I start...I know! Were you telling the truth when you said you didn't have a boyfriend?"

"Cross my heart, hope to spontaneously combust..." I said, smiling at my own joke.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"Three," I said, showing it on my three middle fingers. "Mike-" I flipped down my index finger- "Tristan-" left my middle finger standing proud as I poked him in the eye- "and Freddy."

Jack chuckled, not affected in anyway by his injured peeker. "Only _three_?"

"Yeah, I wasn't into guys that much during high-school, and they weren't that into me..." I explained, sighing at the memory of my wasted years. "Plus, it was an all-girls school and I wasn't social enough to get outta the house and see anyone. So I only _really _met guys in TAFE."

"So what happened? Were they not good enough for girl like you, hm?" He was slowly turning darker, his curiosity into my social life growing.

"You could say that..." I said. "I left Mike 'cause he was getting too...needy...when I told him that I was moving to Gotham, he demanded that he went with me. Tristan turned out to be gay...so we kinda dumped each other..."

"Did he turn gay before or _after _he went out with you?" Jack said, grinning at his own joke. I hit him in the shoulder for the third time in that hour, not answering.

"And Freddy dumped me because I was apparently a 'cock tease' and a 'frigid bitch'..." I sighed and pulled out a corset. "What do you think?"

"Too much..." he said at once, forcing me to push it back. I was asking his _advice_? Wow...even now it seems scary... "So let me get this straight, how old were you when you went out with Freddy? About...twenty-something...twenty-one?" He raised his eyebrows in both amazement and amusement when I nodded. "And you weren't fucking the guy at a reasonable age of twenty-one?" I nodded. "Are you _still _virgin?" I nodded, but scrunched up my eyebrows when he laughed madly.

"Look, as much as I hate to admit it..." I said, remaining calm about the whole thing. "Some of that catholic education rubbed off on me..." I went quiet, remembering the unspeakable. "I've done things in the past...things that I really think and _know _that will send me to hell when I die...and I reckon that if I don't shag anyone before I get married then...I don't know...that tiny, pure act might measure things up a bit..."

Jack was still laughing, but it was only a chuckle by the time I talked about hell. "You seriously think that you're going to hell? A person as..._innocent_...as you...will end up in a pit of tortures and flames?"

"Pretty much..." I said, worried at the thought of it. "But I can't be too careful...that's why I have to do this." Jack stared at me, with so many looks all at once that I didn't know where to start. Pity, concern...amusement...and more amusement...

"Okay, you've asked me thirteen questions now, so can I ask you one of my own?" I asked, getting agitated and wanting to move on from the subject. Jack thought for a second before nodding. "Cool, I'll start with something small...what are your favourite colours?" I wasn't as philosophical as he was when it came to questioning.

He gave it some thought before answering at long last, "Purple, green, black, white and most of all...red-dah." I stared at him, absolutely bug-eyed. "It's rude to stare, Jester..."

"No way! Those are my favourites! Well, purple especially...but still!" How small and bizarre our little planet is... "I never knew that..." I smiled to myself and picked out another corset, a simple black one with a few dozen strings. Jack shook his head at once and I thrust it back onto the rack.

"Okay, _my_ turn!" Jack said, rubbing his hands together. I was about to protest, but he interrupted me. "You said 'can I ask you _one _of my own?'...you asked one, which means it's now _my_ turn. Who knows, kitten? I might ease up on you and only ask five or seven questions before you get to ask another _one_..." I glared at him and turned back to browsing. He chuckled again, eye keeping their usual dark secrets... "Do you wish you _could_ fuck someone?"

I paused in my place, not looking at him as I thought...I didn't really know, to be honest. Sure, I wanted to know what it felt like... The faith that I had for the safety of my soul was enough to keep me determined...but I wanted to feel that rush and ecstasy of being so close with someone you love so much... and if I stayed this determined then I might never end up feeling that.

"Yeah...I do..."

"So why don't you?"

"Because I don't."

"Because of your _faith_?" he asked mockingly. "Faith isn't going to help you in this world, kitten...a girl your age should know that by now...this world is so very full of chaos...In fact, most of the world's chaos comes right from here in Gotham..." I hated how he spoke, as if I was a child trying to convince a parent to buy me a 'wowwy pop'. Thank God that Kait called me over for another best-friend-approval thing.

"Jess! How do I look?" she called, smiling brightly. I smiled with her as she turned around in her circle. The attendant had helped pick out a matching black top-hat for her to match the corset, which was secured on a slight angle in her blonde hair.

"You look awesome!" I said, being as honest as the Pope. "_Very_ Wonderland!"

"It's part of this new range that they're bringing in, with Alice dresses and Mad-Hatter corsets. You picked out anything yet?" She said, raising her eyebrows at the sight of my beloved hat.

"What, this old thing?" I asked as I shook my head to ring the tiny bells attached to the end of each point. "Apart from this, not much...I was mainly just talking to Jack."

"Be careful about him, okay?" Kait warned me, suddenly serious. "I don't want you and Thalia to go Springer-style and break out a fight." I nodded and she walked into the changing-room again, getting back into her normal clothes.

"Oh how I wish I could see you in something like this..." Jack said from across the room, pulling out another one of Kait's Wonderland series. It was a white rabbit costume, with ribbons dotting nearly every area. A short white skirt, made nearly entirely of frills, and a creamy corset decorated with a huge silk bow on the lower back. Oh Christ, it even had a _tail._ A _tail _for God sake! I'd look like something from Bridget Jones'!

I walked as quickly as I could over to Jack, smoke blazing out of my ears in my anger, and grabbed the dress off of him and replaced it with my hat. Without saying another word to him, I raced back over to the changing rooms and pulled off my normal clothes, replacing them with the outfit of Jack's choice instead. I was so angry and fed up with his questions and requests that Jester had taken complete control of me, impulsively shoving it on. I pulled the curtains back (with so much anger that I nearly tore them off the hook) and marched my way over to Jack. I stood before him, my legs spread wide in a powerful-bitch pose. He didn't say anything, merely stared at me with eyes nearly as big as saucers.

"_Well_?" I asked, my forehead pounding furiously with blood. "Here I am in all my glory and you just _stand_ there?! This is what you wanted me in, you got it!" He didn't say anything, just watched me with big, dark eyes. Then finally he laughed, so much and so loud that I couldn't help but feel scared underneath all my rage.

"_There_ she is..." he said with a wide smile. "There's the _real _Jester..." I took a step back, confused but yet understanding what the he was talking about. I walked back to the change rooms and got undressed again, gradually growing calmer and more at ease again.

I took a good look at myself in the mirror, dressed in the white frills and lace. It was kinda cute, but nothing compared to Jester's outfit. I sighed and emerged a few minutes later, still reasonably ticked off at Jack. He was still looking smug, and giggled when he saw my face.

"Shut up..." I muttered as I crossed to the rack of corsets beside him. "I still need to find a corset for the freakin' dress, help me look." In a sudden blur of actions and movement, Jack shoved some random objects in my arms and pushed me all the way back to the changing-room despite all my protests and questions.

"Just try them on, kitten..." he said before I could kick him in the shin as he shut the curtains. I heard Kait emerge at last from her undressing, probably looking around for me. Because I heard a few seconds later Jack said "Oh, she's just getting changed. She found some things she...took a shine to...and now she's playing dress-ups."

"'bout time," Kait replied. "I was worried that it was a wasted trip for her."

I groaned and looked at the items in my arms. One I recognized as my hat, which I wasn't that surprised about. But the others... He had given me a silky-soft black corset, decorated with three green pearls that ran evenly down the middle. It was edged with black netting, giving a punk-like elegance to the design. It was...perfect, exactly what I needed.

"Wow..." that was all I could say to it...I looked at the other items in my arms, both fishnet accessories: a pair of black fishnet stockings, matching fingerless gloves, and a glittering fake ring in a beautiful shade of purple.

I smiled and immediately pulled off my shirt, getting dressed in Jester's new wardrobe.

"Hey, you think she's okay?" Kait asked Jack, nearly in a whisper. "Should I check up on her?"

"Who, _kitten_? No, no, no...She's fine." There was silence between the two of them, before Kait suddenly shared her concern.

"Kitten?"

I came out, as if on cue (don't you love it when crap lines up like that?), as turned to the two of them. Kait blinked for a second, before laughing out loud. "Oh my God, Jess! You look heaps cool!"

I was just in my jeans, but even then the corset looked well on me...Jack had good taste when he was actually serious. I smiled shyly, but my heart was glowing with self-esteem and confidence. I stretched out my hand, showing off the ring and gloves. I hadn't put on the stockings, that would be a waste of time because I was wearing jeans over the top.

"Glad you like it!" I said, turning in circles. No wonder Kait was so happy, a corset can do things to a girl. Jack was smiling a devil's grin, the spark of dark mischief brighter than usual.

_Bodies lying around my feet, some unconscious, some dead, but all bleeding with no signs of stopping. Smiling innocently and stepping over the corpses of the people of Gotham. Orange tongues flickered as they swallowed whole buildings as I carelessly swung a gasoline tank by my side. I smiled at my boss and linked arms with him, telling him how pretty he was turning the city into._

_So innocent, so care-free..._

_So damn chaotic._

_And not a bit of faith in site._


	11. dotdotdot

**CrazyA&Joker: **WEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMMPPIIIONS! NO TIME FOR LOOOOSERS COZ WE ARE DA CHHAAAMPPPIOONSSSS! OF THE WOOOORRRLLLDDDD!!! ^^

**CrazyA:**For those who are worried about our sanity: HEATH WON THE OSCAR! Woot! So we're just very VERY drunk and hyperactive. Plus, this is the chapter before the big, KICK-ASS scene of the next chapter. Also, if you find my 'REPO! The Genetic Opera' reference then you get a high-five and a 'surprise' from Joker. Start reading!

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**11. …  
**_**'Must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well...'-**__Goodnight and Go, _Imogen Heap

A night ago, a whole bunch of explosive nonsense happened when Jack found me sitting comfortably on the couch. Tonight, I wasn't going to let that happen again.

My laptop was turned off, and all movies with Heath Ledger (RIP, Our Auzzie Angel) were stored away in my DVD cabinet. I was eating carrots, even though I wished otherwise, and any bottle of red-wine that I had was stored away in the locked spare room. I even locked the front door, in case he decided to spring a surprise visit on me again.

A whole night to myself at last.

Oh, and Noodle.

But apart from her, no one else could be here to spoil it. No more questions about my sex life from Jack, no more dress-ups, no more nothing...

...

...

...

...Good God this was boring.

I can't believe I actually _needed _him to have fun. That was just plain weird. He was terrifying, insane and just overall _weird._ But he made me laugh, made me think, made me _smile._ So that's what drove me to pick up the phone and dial a number straight off the top of my head.

My sister. It would be pretty early in the morning over in Japan, but I was sure that she wouldn't mind getting a call from her little sis. The dial-tone ended as she picked up the phone, sounding extremely tired.

"It' 午前中s 3、何がほしいと思うか" Susan's voice was weary and tired, so I knew I woke her up from sleep. But I remained positive, just like in everything I've ever said to Susan.

"Konichiwa, big sister!" I said merrily.

"What? _Jess_? What the heck are you calling me up at three o'clock for?"

"Oh you know how it is with me; I never really understood the time differences of the world...So what's up?"

"My ceiling. Now can you hang up? I've had a long night of work and I need some sleep..."

"How's everything?"

"Jess, go away."

"Oh come on, Susan. I hardly ever call you and now suddenly here I am, but _you _ask me to hang up. That's not exactly fair, y'know."

"Jess, for all that is holy, _hang up._"

"Did I mention that I've met someone?"

"What? Who? Huh?" There we go, I got her at last.

"He's nice...he's my neighbour..." I said, tucking my knees under my chin.

"What, Jack? You've mentioned him before. I thought you said he was married..."

"I'm honestly not so sure anymore..." I said, as truthful as can be.

"Look, Jess...this is wonderful and all, but please can I get back to sleep?" Susan begged, talking through a yawn. I sighed and let her go, hanging up after a few-dozen goodbyes. Back to boredom...I didn't dare call Kait in case she was back at work again. I didn't want to get her fired...I stroked Noodle's soft fur, giving her all my attention and 'wuv'. Of course, she decided to use the bathroom, and jumped off my lap to her litter box.

Great, even cats thought I suck.

I stared at the phone for what felt like days, wondering if I dared to call him. I was scared about having a second round with Thalia's anger.

"Oh for the love of crap, just _do it!_" Jester screamed. I did as told and picked up the phone, dialing as quick as I could the number next door. As the dial-tone rang, I knew that I was having second-thoughts about the idea. He picked up eventually, somehow knowing it was me.

"Jester, it's a beautiful thing to hear your voice..." he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm...and yet I still blushed slightly. I don't know, but I just felt at peace when I heard his voice again...corny, right?

"Shut up, Jack." I wasn't going to let him know that, though... "I just called because..." There was silence tangled in the conversation; awkward, pitiful and humorous silence.

"Because what, kitten?" Jack asked slyly. "If you're going against the whole... 'sex strike' thing...I'm gonna have to tell you, I'm a married man."

"Yeah, you wish. I just called because I want my questions to be answered."

"What questions? I've been working on our little project this whole time..."

"Don't play dumb, you know perfectly well what quest- wait a minute, you're _finally_ working on my dress?" I asked, sitting up straight.

"Jester, I was _always _working on your little party getup. But only _now _have I taken a true interest in it." His voice was dark again, had to be cautious...

"And why is that?" I asked, not putting any cheek in my voice.

"Let's just say...I've got _plans_, as much as I hate them..." he said, chuckling at his own private joke. Change the subject before things get ugly, Jess...but actually, he changed it first. "So what did you want to ask me?

"What's your last name?"

"Oh not this again..." he said at first, turning silent for a minute. "I don't have a last name."

"What?"

"I don't even _exist_, kitten. According to the government, I'm completely... _invisible_..." he cackled with laughter, making me wish that I hadn't called him up after all.

"Well I can see you crystal-clear, Jack. And I'm pretty sure that you had a name _once _in your life...mind telling me what it is?" I heard more laughter on the other side of the phone, but he never did answer me. "Wait, if you don't exist then how did you get married to Thalia?"

This time he was practically wetting himself with laughter...kinda scary, actually. "Thalia isn't my wife."

...

...

...

"WHAT THE FUCK!?!!?!" I screamed. He started up his laughter again, roaring and cackling and crying all at once. "Oh Jester, you really _are _too much. Thalia likes to think of us as a married couple, but-tah... we're not legally married. It was a small little ceremony done in a back-alley somewhere."

I calmed down a bit; my shivering anger came to a rest. He was definitely starting to mess with my mind. "Okay, moving on... what are you doing at the moment?"

"You really do fancy me, don't you?" Jack asked. "You're even trying to stalk me over the phone."

"I repeat: You _wish_. I just want to know what you're doing, that's all." It sounded like a really piss-poor dial-up-girl call if you thought about it...Jack probably was, for he started cracking up laughing again. He does that a lot...

"If you must know, I'm watching the coloured-box..." he eventually replied. I nodded, feeling as if we were having a perfectly normal conversation right in the same room. I slumped down lower in my couch pillows, getting myself comfortable. "And what does a... young little kitten such as yourself do in the little late nights like these?"

"Call up mad dogs and watch the news," I laughed. I heard him laugh with me, a normal not-insane laugh...One that was actually pleasant to hear and made me smile. "Wait a minute, Dent's campaign ad is on channel...seven if you wanna watch." I heard him searching for his remote as he changed channel, throwing it aside and sitting on the couch again.

"_Gotham: A city with dreams and bright futures,_" Harvey Dent said as he walked down the street 'naturally'. Way too fake for my taste, but hey, at least his promises are better than his opposition's. "_But first off, we gotta clean some mess and get criminals off the streets."_ He smiled at the camera as he walked, a crowd of people slowly joining up behind him.

"_So people of Gotham, do you believe in Harvey Dent?!" _he called, turning on his heel to everyone that was following him.

_"We believe in Harvey Dent!!" _They screamed on the top of their lungs. The started clapping and cheering, Dent giving a final wave to the camera before asking with a raised eyebrow, "_Do you believe?"_

"That. Was. Hilla—rious..." I muttered sarcastically, still talking to Jack as the ad finished. "Are you going to vote for him?"

"Yeah, I'm a believer..." he said with a chuckle.

"Ditto," I laughed with him. Time stopped between us as awkward silence and tension grew. "Did you want to hang up? Cause you must be pretty busy with-"

"Can I come over?" he said. "Last night we had a bunch of laughs, and I wanna go on the second round-"

"Sure, I'll put on a movie," I said at once. Well that was quickly decided...

"Alrightie, Jester. Just promise me it won't be another... 'chick-flick'...that would be _hell_ for me." I laughed as he hung up, watching him turn off the lights in his house. I put the phone back, not caring about Thalia for once. It was a movie, she was out, and that was it. He'd be gone when it finished, what would be the harm? Besides, I knew _exactly _what he would want to watch...

By the time Jack came, I was already at my microwave getting popcorn ready. He sat down on the couch, laughing at the opening title.

"_Beetlejuice?_" he asked, calling over to me in the kitchen.

"Tim Burton classic, Michael Keaton stars in the title role. It's hilarious, gothic, and so daggy that it hurts...so shut up and enjoy it." I took out the popcorn from the microwave and called over my shoulder to him, "How do you like your popcorn? Salt, butter or both?" He shrugged, so I put in both. The carrots had retreated to the fridge, out of sight as popcorn took their place.

Noodle followed me to the couch, wanting some for herself as usual. I threw a piece over her head, watching her chase after it as fast as possible. Jack laughed, watching her with me. "She's a...strange little moggy, isn't she?"

"Always has been," I said, watching her run. I wrapped my dressing-gown tighter around me. Just because Thalia was gone and I was alone with Jack _didn't mean _that I could flash him my legs and anything else my PJs revealed. I wasn't that sort of girl, _Jester _on the other hand was.

"Oh come on, Jess!" she whined, kicking and screaming like a little toddler. "Just snog him already!" I could not believe I was imagining this...she's like the room-mate from hell, but inside my own head. I ignored her and sat on the other side of the couch from Jack. "Have you seen this movie before?"

"Heard of it," he answered. "Can I ask you a question?"

"That was a question. Would you like to ask another?"

"Where are you from?" he asked. "You're from over-seas I know that much...but where from?" His fingers touched my skin lightly, making me develop a bad case of goose-bumps. "You have the skin of a European girl...and you _do _have a bit of an accent...London?" I could barely concentrate on the question...it was just the way he touched my skin...so lightly, so casually...but just so much meaning if taken the wrong way...it was a wonder that he couldn't hear my heart beating, it sounded so loud in my own ears.

"I...I'm from Australia, actually. Straight outta Perth," I answered, trying to kid my way out of the situation. It wasn't working...at least, not for me...I gulped, pretending that I had a cough and moved further away from him, shrugging him off.

But damn, was he persistent.

He suddenly 'fell' over on top of me, so that his knees and hands were the only things keeping him from falling straight into my chest. I couldn't say anything, so I merely gasped for air underneath him, wondering how the hell it could get any worse.

"Score one for the Jay-girl!" Jester yelled from the kitchen. I tried blocking her out, which was easy for me since I could just listen to the echoing beats of my heart.

...

...

...

And all he did was stare back, smirking as usual. His tongue darted out, licked the scarred side of his lips, as he reached out a hand...

...for the popcorn, which was resting behind my head.

"Sorry about this, kitten. But I'm just a hungry guy..."

"You asshole."

"Shush, don't talk during the movie." He grabbed the bowl and put it on his lap, claiming it as his own. I sat up, just in time for Noodle to jump onto my lap. "By the way," he said through a mouthful of popcorn. "You don't look like an Auzzie...no offence or anything..." I shrugged, trying to forget about my little awkward moment.

...

"Apparently we have same tastes..." I heard Jack mutter as B.J leapt up from his grave. I looked at him, wondering what was up, but he just watched the screen. He was smiling, so it was a good pick in movies. I just watched Michael Keaton in his panda-like makeup, laughing when appropriate. Usually, I can't laugh when watching films, but being with Jack made me ease up. When B.J tried to grope Barbara, I actually rolled my eyes and had the courage to say, "Wow, he reminds me of someone..." And all Jack did was just laugh with me.

I realized then and there that I _did need _Jack. As much as I'd like to say otherwise, he lightened up my life better than Kait or Susan ever could. I really liked him, not just because he was handsome and mysterious, but he was a really good friend... and it was fun seeing him like this.

How I wish I could have stopped this night from ending...how I wish and want with all my heart that Jack had stayed like this forever. But back then, I didn't know that the night we had would be the last one when he was like this...calm, happy, and actually _fun_. Still freaky, sure, but just...

...

...I don't know anymore...

About half-way through the movie, I let out a yawn and curled up on the couch, Noodle jumping off of me and crawling next to Jack. It had been a long day and I was exhausted from the shopping and heart-racing moments. I closed my eyes, resting them for only a minute...but then sleep overtook my plans and I drifted off, breathing deeply and completely at ease.

**

Jack laughed, nearly knocking the bowl of popcorn off of his lap, but paused when he noticed something.

She wasn't laughing with him.

He looked over, smiling at the sight of her. Jess had slept in the same ball as she had the last time he stumbled upon her like that. She was only just getting to sleep, so he kept quiet...

...

...but that didn't stop him from poking her on her pointed nose.

...

...

...poke.

Suddenly, her leg flew to his cheek as she turned over in her sleep, muttering something to herself as she curled back into the ball. It hit him square in the jaw, full-on exposure to pain. Jack fell off the couch, popcorn scattering in all directions, as he howled with laughter. He bit his lip, trying to keep quiet so that she could listen to her quiet mutterings.

"Cake is for Graverobber..." Jess whispered, trying to get comfortable. Jack chuckled and felt a vibration in his back pocket. Thalia's phone. She had left it at home when she left and he kept it with him since he didn't have one himself. He pulled it out, staring at Jess' sleeping form.

"Jack?! Oh God, Jack help!"

"Thalia what is it?"

"Jack, something happened...I-I can't tell you now but please, I'm coming home right away...okay?" Her voice was breaking and she sounded terrified, talking in between sobs. "Jack I'm so sorry...I lost everything...please, _please _don't be mad at me..."

"Shush, shush, shush, Thalz..." Jack replied, trying not to wake up the only sane person in his life. "It's gonna be okay, just get back home..." He hung up and chuckled, getting to his feet and walking his way to the door. "Everything's going smoothly..."

He gave a last look at Jess, quickly running on light feet back over to her. He placed a kiss on the cheek, feeling her smooth skin underneath his rough scar, and left into the night before she could wake up.


	12. The Bleeding Moon

**CrazyA: **This is it!

**Joker: **This is it?

**CrazyA: **THIS IS IT!!

**Joker: **THIS IS IT!

**Reader: **What the hell?!?!

**CrazyA&Joker:** THIS IS FREAKIN' IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HEEU21TYIU31U`POWKPDIOIEFFD

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**12. The Bleeding Moonlight  
**_**'I don't care what you think as long as it's about me. The best of us can find happiness in misery.'- **__I Don't Care, _Fallout Boy

_The grace of God shone upon my face and its warmth filled me with happiness. I danced in the golden fields, turning and turning, in a never-ending spiral of peace and harmony. My heart sang and I felt as if I could burst with all the emotion trapped inside me._

_My long white dress twirled in the breeze, like a cloud floating amongst the last rays of the day, as the world went on by. Never before had someone bean this at ease, and all my worries melted away._

_But the sunlight faded into the darkness of the night, so that I couldn't even see my hands in front of my face. The white moon was lost behind dark clouds, and as much as I tried to, I could never find it. I reached for it, called for it, begged for it to come back until finally the clouds parted._

_But the man in the moon was bleeding, the blood raining from the sky as the haunting image of red-on-white scarred my mind. The dripping ooze tainted my dress, so that my entire body was coated in his blood. I was part of the moon, part of his pain, part of the hurt, part of the madness..._

I gasped for air as I sat up in what I thought was my bed. But looking around, I had been lying on my couch. Popcorn was tipped onto the floor, most of which Noodle had eaten, and the TV was on. _Beetlejuice _finished ages ago, so the main-menu was taking up most of the screen. Jack was long gone...

I heard Noodle mew, begging for attention, and I picked her up from the floor, stroking her fur. She always knew when I had a nightmare or when I couldn't sleep, and she was always ready to come rescue me. The feeling of her soft and silky stripes running through my fingertips was enough to still my racing heart.

"Jack, what are we going to do!?!"

It was Thalia, she had come back home. That was why Jack had left... Oh God, had she seen me? Was that why she was yelling at Jack? I ran to the window and tried to see inside, but their blinds were shut. Damn it. I needed to eaves-drop on them and get details. I could never stand people who were arguing about my life behind my back.

I leapt up at once, pushing Noodle onto the floor (in the nicest way possible, of course.) I would've gotten dressed, but I wasn't thinking straight. So I quickly pulled on my converse, not bothering to wear socks, tore off my heavy dressing-gown and headed out the door.

Tip-toeing down the front stairs, I walked silently and briskly into their garden full of weeds and sat myself down. The plants scratched my bare arms and silky pyjama shorts, leaving little white marks on my skin. I pressed my ear to the window, the only thing separating me from them.

"Jack, we don't have the money, we can't fix this!" Thalia cried, her voice breaking. "I'm going to be walking around for the rest of my life with _this_!!" She screamed and I heard glass shatter as she tossed something across the room in her rampage. "Just go to that bitch next door already, 'cause I know perfectly well that you don't want to be seen with a...a _thing _like me!"

My pounding heart and pumping brain told me so many things that I didn't know what to do. So I just sat there, tears in my eyes as I listened in on their worst argument yet.  
"J-Just go, Jack...I know you want to leave so just go..." There was silence throughout the whole world...and I was trapped outside of it all. Time seemed to go on forever as my mind skipped right to the horrible plot-twist of this story. Everything slowed down, and I could swear that if World War Three had started we wouldn't have given it a second of our thoughts.

And then, all of a sudden in the silence, I heard Thalia scream. The high-pitched ringing in my ears told me at once that something bad had happened...

...something _awful.  
_

"Oh my God..." she was saying, panic in her voice. "Oh my _God..._" There was silence, only to be broken by Jack saying something. All I could hear from outside was a mumble, something inaudible but obviously terrifying, for Thalia screamed once again. "What have you _done!?!_ Don't _touch _me!!" she screamed, I could hear her high-heels click as she ran to a different room. There was more silence as she started doing something, her high-heels clicking again when she returned.

"I-I can't take this anymore, Jack..." she said, loud enough for me to hear. "You've done some fucked up stuff in the past but...Oh Christ..." I heard something heavy slam on the floor, only to be picked up again. A suitcase. "Maybe that whore of yours can take you into her life, but _I _can't." I was involved in this? My heart dropped a few inches inside my chest... this was _my _fault? Whatever 'this' _was_, I was part of it.

"STAY _AWAY _FROM ME!" she yelled, as her high-heels clicked across the floor again. I looked over to the front door, and sure enough it was being flung wide open. Thalia stumbled down the steps, a rolling-bag behind her.

She was leaving Jack.

I watched her walk down the street-path, looking in all directions in case Jack or anyone else was following her, and into the darkness with a hooded jumper zipped up around her face. Why did she walk out on him? What had he done wrong?

I had to find out.

Once I was sure Thalia had reached the corner, I raced around to the front of number sixteen and up the stairs, quick speed. But once I reached the door, it took me another five minutes to gain enough courage...I was scared...I was scared about what I'd find...

"C'mon Jess..." Jester said sharply, putting her hand on the doorknob. "We gotta do this...he might be in trouble..." I slowly gulped, trying to convince myself that for once she was right... I reached out for the doorknob, shaking like a leaf...

...and opened.

I walked inside, closing the door behind me, and slowly took shivering steps towards the living-room where this whole thing had started. "Jack?" I called out, my voice breaking in fear, "you in here?"

I heard something gurgling, like a toddler trying to pronounce a scientific meaning, and someone falling to the ground...but when I followed the noise...

"Holy..." I whispered, finding Jack at last..

...the bloody smile of his was now complete.

Oh.

Holy.

Shite.

Blood was everywhere, dripping from his face and onto the carpet. Thick, bubbling puddles of the red mess were staining the floorboards...seeping into every nook and cranny. But the only thing I could look at was Jack's face...

He was on his hands and knees, growing weak from the blood-loss. He was making a gurgling sound, I couldn't tell if he was laughing or crying.

"Are you okay?!" I said in a terrified pitch as I hurried over to him. My converse treaded on the blood-splatter as I bent down to his level and looked him in the eye. He tried to speak, but all that came out were specks of blood, some splattering on my face.

What I didn't know then was that out of the two girls in his life,_ I_ was the only one that could look him in the eye without showing disgust.

_I_ was the only girl who could tell ask if he was alright and not focus on how much blood was spilling onto her lap.

_I_ was the one who could sit him up straight and push the hair out of his face with delicate fingertips.

And _I_ was the one who could be there as he spewed blood all down my shoulder.

I ran to the kitchen and got a bucket from under the sink and came back as quick as I could, putting it under his face. He spat out a mixture of saliva and blood, his whole body shaking.

"Do you need water? I'll get water," I said, running over to the kitchen again. He was still gurgling, spitting and shaking when I came back with a bowl of water (it was the first thing I could get my hands on.)

"Oh God what do I do?" I asked aloud, still looking at him. "Jack, what do you need? I swear, I'll get whatever I can!" My voice was high and screeching, just as it usually was whenever I got scared and angry and confused all at once. This only made Jack's shaking more violent.

"Towels!" I suddenly cried. "You need to get cleaned up!" I ran back to the kitchen, grabbing whatever I could to help clean his face: paper towels, another bowl of water, and hand-soap. When I came back, he was bent over so far that that his head had nearly fallen into the bucket. He was looking worse than before, barely able to drink the bowl of water I had given. He needed proper medical attention, but I couldn't call Gotham General because they didn't have his medical records. So instead, I had to play 'doctors' with him.

"Jack, we gotta get you up and into light," Nurse Jess commanded. I lifted him up, his whole body weight leaning on my shoulders as he carried the bucket on his face. He spat into the bucket again, the gruesome smile bleeding onto our shoulders. I threw him on the couch, relieved from the loss of weigh, and looked around for a place to sit down close to him.

"Bugger this..." I swore, sitting on his lap, facing him. He gurgled even more; I could recognise it this time as pure laughter. "Shut up! I need to see your face clearly in order to clean this mess up, so you're gonna have to live with it!" He kept laughing, so much that more blood splattered on my face. I didn't bother to tell him off, I was busy wetting the paper towels.

"Hold still, kay?" I asked/ordered. I wiped most of the blood, both wet and dry, away with the towel so that I could get a better look at the smile. It was disturbing... absolutely disgusting... crooked and winding up the side of his face, curved at the end into a Cheshire-cat grin. It didn't match perfectly with its twin, but it was close enough.

I got another paper towel with a bit of soap and wet it again, trying not to hurt or infect the wound. But it wasn't helping with him shaking all the time...not to mention that I was shaking as well, scared out of my wits. My shivering hand grazed across the side of his face as I apologised when he winced from the pain.

Jack poked me on the shoulder, trying to get attention (though he had all the attention already). I leaned back a bit so I could see his whole face, not just the bloody mess. With one hand, he pointed it into a pencil and waved it through the air. He needed paper.

I got off of him at once, finally able to breathe without blushing, and quickly dashed to the kitchen again. Searching through every drawer and cupboard, I finally found a notepad and classic yellow pencil (this pencil will be seen again later through a guy's forehead). I raced back over to Jack and handed it over, who in messy scribbles wrote down what I barely translated as: _You're a good nurse, you should've bought that outfit_

"Shut _up_." He gurgled again, and with a shivering hand continued writing.

_Thread and needle in the workroom_

I ran at once, practically bolted, and smashed the door open. I raced inside and grabbed the first thing I could get my hands on, working as fast as I had ever done in my lifetime. I retreated back to Jack and handed them over at once, not quite sure of what he wanted with them. He picked up the pencil again and wrote down in scribble-form:

_Ever tried sewing, kitten?_

"What?" I asked, heart pounding from all the running and nerves. "W-What do you want me to do?" Jack gurgled, still laughing at my bambi-like expression.

_Patch me up_

"Um...okay...sure..." I said, which was barely a response. He spat in the bucket, clearing his mouth of all the blood and mess so that it was easier for me to work. I nearly gagged at the sight and scent of it...blood wasn't the best thing to look at when you were barely millimetres away from another person's face.

"Please just...just stay still, okay?" I asked, still in a squeak of panic. He nodded, still smirking, and leaned back so that I had more space. Oh crap, lap-time again. I cringed as I sat down on top of him, knees resting against his thighs. Very awkward moment in my life...I leaned in, sitting up straight with my chest against his..._extremely_ awkward moment in my life...and started working.

Okay, let's get this straight (again). I am _not_ good around guys, okay? Even around the three boyfriends that I had in my lifetime, it took a hell of a lot of confidence in order to talk to them. So now, sitting on a guy's lap (who's last name I didn't even know _and _in my sleeping-shorts) with my face so close to his that I could see every detail of his mouth, you should understand that I was as uncomfortable as anyone could ever possibly be.

If you're laughing, then you obviously have _no idea _how awkward it is. And therefore:

You suck.

"Stop smiling, it's..." I stopped talking; whatever came from my mouth wasn't going to make the situation any better. I was about to pierce the skin when something occurred to me:

"The needle isn't sterilized! I'll go sterilize it!" Yes, I was stalling. Jack knew this too, so he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him. I fell from the sudden pull and fell on top of him again, landing head-first into his chest. I gripped his shirt, thinking that I would fall off again, and in the same time I stabbed his chest with the needle. Blood stained his shirt, and he started shaking again. I looked up and saw the stain, pupils shrinking.

"Shit! I'm sorry I am so, sooo sorry!" He merely shook harder, gurgling as loud as he ever had. "Just hold still, okay?!" I grabbed his head, looking him in the eye, and quickly pressed the needle into the bloody mess of his face. I can't sew on fabric, so how the fudge was I meant to sew up someone's _mouth_?!?

Hell, I tried my best.

"You know, I have said _continually _for you to stop shaking," I muttered as I tried to join the two slices of cheek together. He winced every time I pushed the needle through his skin, it hurt just watching him. After five minutes of struggling, I finally gave up. I leapt off of him, the needle and thread hanging from his mouth like a fish-hook.

"Sorry, I'm just gonna mess it up...can't _you _do it?" I asked, my voice still in the usual squeak of panic. He got up without saying anything, carrying the bucket with him, and went to the bathroom. I picked up the pencil and paper and followed him, worried about what he'd do in there.

In any other situation, that would be _really _perverted.

"Wait a second, if you could sew yourself up...then why did you need me?" I asked, becoming more annoyed then upset. He smiled, shivering as he chuckled, as he started doing I better job then I ever could. I handed over his only form of communication, but he was already writing with blood on the mirror.

_I wanted to see what you would do._

"I _really _hate you, I hope you understand that..." He gurgled with laughter, retreating back to his face. I sighed and was about to walk away when I heard the sound of paper-scrunching. Before I could even blink, he ditched a ball of paper at my head.

"What was _that _for?!" I cried, his only response a tap on the mirror.

_I wanted to see what you would do._

I sighed and walked back over to him, my elbows resting on the sink in both boredom and interest. "Can you talk yet?" I asked. He shrugged and tried to say something, but all that came out was a blubber of words, but more understandable than before. He shook his head, an obvious 'no'.

"Shame," I muttered. "I kinda miss your irritating remarks about my personal life...but then again, maybe this is for the better." I laughed, which was surprising in the current situation. He didn't, too concentrated on his difficult task to laugh with me. The pleasantness died, and my doubting mind started to turn on me.

What had happened? Why did he do this? What did Thalia say about me? What did _he _say about me? My heart dropped... Was it my fault that this had happened? Was I a dirty little secret of his? Was I the story behind his scar?

Most of the signs pointed to yes...

I'd ask him later though, when he was able to reply without having to write anything down on paper. "Look, I'm going to leave you to it. But just rest up on the couch, okay? I don't want your head smashed on the bath-tub if you faint..." I gave a wave and walked off, but another paper-ball hit me in the back of the head. I turned around, prepared to go on a long and boring rant, when I noticed that he was writing another message.

_You won't see much of me anymore_

"What do you mean?"

More scribbling: _Don't come near me_

"Jack, what's going on?"

_I'm fine just don't come near me_

"What did I do?!"

_DON'T COME NEAR ME_

"You have to tell me, Jack! What have I done?!"

He underlined the previous message, growing impatient with me. _DON'T COME NEAR ME_

"What did I _do?!"_ Normally at a time like this, the guy would be yelling back. But in the current predicament, Jack could only scribble down madly in shaking handwriting:

_You make me smile, kitten. And I don't want to see you get hurt._

I sighed, glowing inside about the fact that I was important in his life and not able to continue the deranged fight. He would win this war anyway; I wasn't strong enough to succeed. I would keep an eye on him though; I didn't trust 'don't want to see you get hurt'. I couldn't imagine seeing him more hurt than he was now. I needed to protect him...

"Rest up, okay?" And I left, leaving him to get cleaned up as my blood-soaked shoes squelched out the front door.

It had been a long night...

I closed the door behind me, walking back into the dark. I needed sleep, but somehow I knew that sleep would never come and find me.

* * *

**CrazyA: **THAT WAS IT!

**Joker: **That was it?

**CrazyA: **THAT WAS IT!!

**Joker: **THAT WAS IT!

**Reader: **I'm gonna go review....*hinting hint hinting*

**CrazyA&Joker: **THAT WAS FREAKIN' IT!!!ekeLWQ1!:w1P2O21;'E


	13. Missing, Wanting, Waiting

**CrazyA: **Coz you're all so nice when you review, I decided to give you a very VERY quickly-written chapter that I think is quite good for a two-hour project.

**Joker: **Thank God that no one's guessed who 'Hilary' is...

**CrazyA: **That is STILL running guys! Check out my early chapters with the little scenes from the story I write, guess who 'Hilary' is meant to be, and you get a kiss from MISTAH JAY!

**Joker: **Oh no. Remember ladies, NO TONGUE.

**CrazyA: **Yeah right...if no one guesses by next chapter, _I'll_ get one instead. SO HURRY! Don't waste a potential kiss with the Joker on the author of a piss-poor story which you guys all seem to like! Thanks for reviewing!

* * *

**13. Missing, Wanting, Waiting**  
_**'...you keep me coming back for more and I feel a little better than I did before. If I never see your face again I don't mind. Cause we got much further than I thought we'd get tonight.'- **If I Never See Your Face Again, _Maroon5/Rhianna

Oh that beautiful smile.

The sunny laugh.

The gentle touch.

Every time he looked in the mirror, he saw the smile. The smile made him hear the laugh. And he'd reach out to the smile so gently that the glass would split down the middle.

He was getting sick of this, having to hide himself from her. And all of her phone-calls, they had gone on for days now. Every one of them the same. Wanting to see him. If he was okay. How she would always be there with extra-buttered popcorn and a movie. He peeked through the closed blinds, trying not to step on any of the weapons scattered along the floor, and tried getting a glimpse of her.

Sometimes she would be writing her stories. Another time she was watching Gotham Tonight. Once he caught her indulging herself with a bucket of cookies-and-cream ice-cream. And sometimes, very rarely though, she would be dancing to her latest favourite. That was always fun to watch.

But then she'd get the familiar feeling of someone watching her. And she'd look over to the window, only to find that the blinds were down and that he had fled. She would sigh, turn off her iPod and go back to the kitchen to make another microwaved-meal.

This time, he spotted her making a phone-call. But surprisingly, not to him. Probably to that other friend of hers, whatever her name was.

That night, Jack had died. And now he had come. The _true _side of Jack.

The Joker.

Oh it felt so good to call himself that now.

The Joker.

The Joker.

The Joker.

That was why he had to get rid of Thalia, so that she wouldn't be there as an obstacle in his path to anarchy. But as for Jess...his blue-eyed kitten...she was more fun than Thalia had ever been. And she was an unexpected bump in his path. But somehow, the Joker couldn't imagine letting go of her. Not in that stupid cupid Disney-sugar way, though. That would _never _happen in a million years. But it was true what he had said, he didn't want to see her hurt.

But he would love seeing what happened if _he_ inflicted the pain.

She hung up on her friend and was about to put it in the receiver, but instead started staring at it. He watched her blinking eyes as she muttered something, started dialling before dropping it back where it belonged. She suddenly turned around, yelling at something (more like some_one)_ and stared at the phone again. She reached out for it but limply dropped her hand, forgetting the idea at once. She muttered something again and picked up the phone, dialling the number at last.

_Now _she was calling him.

_"Sorry that I can't come right now, please leave a message and I might just call you back! AHahaHaHAahahAHahah!" _The message-machine played before the usual 'beep'. The Joker chuckled at the sound of his own voice and 'sunny laugh', still chuckling as she left a message. And this whole time he could watch her leave it...

She paced the floor, unaffected by the hideous laughter seeing as she'd heard it a million times before, and started talking. "J-Jack? You out there? Listen, I know I've left hundreds of messages but I...I haven't got any replies...I'm starting to get worried...I haven't slept in the past two days...and every time I do, I just have nightmares."

He was tempted to pick up the phone, tell her exactly what was happening, but he found it far more hilarious to just watch her gradually break down from this distance. "Look, I'm going shopping for some paints and stuff...just leave me a message if you need anything. And yeah...I guess that's about it...But please, _please _call me back, okay? It would really be putting me at ease." Beep.

She hung up, her eyes red as she wiped tears away. He burst into tears of laughter, loving her new joke. She'd do the _shopping _for him? That was rich. But, he did need a few more things...to make the image complete.

The Joker picked up the clown mask lying on the floor and strapped it on, smiling to himself as he quickly scribbled down a note on the same pad and with the same pencil he had used two nights ago.

"Time for a little masquerade..."

* * *

I sighed and sat back down at my computer, the phone in the receiver at last. I was crying, worried sick about Jack. I didn't love him like Thalia must have, but I was still a friend. And the last time I saw him he looked like he was on the brink of death. Any sign that he was okay would be enough for me. But the blinds were rolled down just as they were when he had earned his second scar.

"We gotta get over there..." Jester said, sitting on the edge of my desk as she kicked her converse through the air.

"Jack said we had to stay away..." I muttered, too weak to fight.

"And why is that exactly? C'mon, Jess. Get up off of your arse and knock on the door. It's about time that we learnt what was going on over there."

"We might be putting ourselves in danger."

"And _he _might be dead. Let's _go _already!"

"No! I-I don't want to..."

"Jess, _I _want to...and since I'm part of your imagination that means _you _want to go, too."

"Shut up and get out of my brain, already!"

But a sudden knock at the door caused the both of us to turn around at quick-speed, hearts beating in perfect timing. Jack. It _had _to be him. I got to my feet and slowly walked over to the door. I couldn't be sure...especially after Jack's warning of 'seeing me hurt.'

"Jester, message from the Joker!" a voice called from the other side. It wasn't anyone that I knew of...and whoever the Joker was, I had no idea. But it sounded like a mob-boss... Oh shit...what would a mobster want with me?

"Ooh! Someone's here to see me!!" Jester screamed, running over to the door. I ignored her, trying to keep as quiet as possible. I walked back over to the kitchen and rummaged through the drawers for protection. The best thing I could get my hands on was a rolling-pin...it would have to do.

Walking back to the door, I flinched as the messenger pounded his fist on the door. "C'mon, Jester! I know you're in there!"

"Coming, just hold your horses!" I yelled as Jester. I turned the door-knob slowly, pulling it open with a creak. I could barely hold in my laugh when I saw the figure before me.

A clown.

I swear to God, it was a _clown._

Well, a guy in a clown-mask, but still. White base colour, painted blue frown and two tiny eye-holes for his peepers. I smirked, but kept a good grip on the rolling-pin. His hands were behind his back, and he could've been carrying anything. "First off, who the hell is the Joker and why should I be interested in anything he says?"

"I'm surprised you don't know him...he seemed to know a lot about you."

"Great, now I have a stalker. That's fan-freakin'-tastic...but you still haven't explained to me who he is, bozo." I stared inside the eye-holes, but I couldn't clearly make out who he was. I tried to look around him, but he simply moved slightly to the side so that I couldn't see what was behind his back.

"He's an agent of chaos, the Clown Prince of Crime, and so much more..."

"Seeing as you like him so much, why don't you just go and marry his highness? Instant promotion right then and there..." The nameless clown stared at me, probably trying to keep his ego high after my nasty comment. I was so hilariously witty that sometimes it even hurt _me_... "So what does the agent of misfortune-"

"Agent of _chaos_."

"-whatever. What does he have to do with _me_?"

"He wants you to know that little old Jack is...a little tied up at the moment..." I stared at him, pupils shrinking, at the very mention of him.

"_What_ did he do to Jack?" I asked, pulling out my rolling-pin.

"That's how the Joker got a hold of you...he found Jack who told him about his little sweet-heart...who would be worried sick if anything happened to him."

"_What did he do to Jack?!_" The clown took a step back, not trusting the dangerous tone in my voice.

"Calm down, you crazy bitch. Your boyfriend's still alive, but not by much."

"The bastard has my best friend captured and you expect me to take _orders _from him!?" I raised the rolling-pin, ready to strike, when he pulled out a gun from his jacket-pocket. My pupils shrunk even more, it was the first time a gun had ever been pointed at me. I gulped and took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. "What's the message then?"

"That's more like it, Jester..." he said like a person I once knew. "Two things: One, Jack is alive and well. But he says that you shouldn't try and find him. He also thanks you for all the little phone-calls and company." He bobbed down slightly, getting to my eye-level. "What were you to him, a dial-up girl? 'Cause if you were, I'd be happy to have your number on speed-dial."

"If that's a comment, then fuck off."

"And two, he asked us to give you this." He handed over a present, wrapped in purple paper. I opened it then and there, staring at what it was. I hid it from the clown's view and walked back inside, telling him to get lost without saying anything at all. He got the message and I heard his footsteps fade away.

The bundle of green and black brought tears to my eyes as I slid down to the hard wooden floor, leaning against the front door in a fit of sobs. It was the dress...he finished the dress...

Black velvet corset, silky green and black skirt with a layer of black netting underneath. It was perfect in every way possible...he had really paid attention to the drawings I had done...I held it tightly to my body, curling up in a ball of sobs and tears.

Jester stared at me, standing tall above her pitiful creator. In any other situation, she would've done a dance for joy and sung random ditties in her bliss. But now she just stood, stared, and cried silent and empty tears. After what felt like forever, she crouched down and sat beside me, wrapping an empty and cold arm around my shoulders as she sobbed into my neck.

We sat there, as two separate people from one sorrowful person, in an empty silence that was only filled by the sound of our tears. But when I tried leaning into her, I fell to the floor.

She was gone.

She was _always _gone...

And I would always be alone.

Just as I was about to throw away the wrapping-paper, I noticed a tiny white note. I picked it up and read it, getting far more confused then ever before.

_Green hair-dye_

_HEAPS OF white paint_

_LOTS OF black paint_

_Green paint_

_And one very large baseball bat_

_J._

I knew it was from Jack at once...but it occurred to me:

How did he know I was shopping if he was kidnapped by this Joker-guy?

I raced to the window, but the blinds of number-sixteen were still shut. Things were getting far too weird... I stared at the list, thinking it through.

Jack...

Joker...

Both of those could sign a name as 'J'...

The note was only from one of them though...

...wasn't it?

The Joker quickly shut the front door, making sure she wouldn't try and follow him. He removed the mask and exhaled with relief, smiling to himself.

"Rolling-pins, huh?" he said, chuckling at the very though of a criminal's assistant carrying a rolling-pin. "Good thing that I asked for a baseball bat..."

* * *

**Joker: **Criminal's assistant, eh?

**CrazyA: **DON'T SPOIL IT!!!!! RAWR!!! *unleashing inner dragon* AND REMEMBER TO GUESS WHO HILARY IS!


	14. Stealing Glimpses

**CrazyA: **Prepare...for the ultimate chapter of awesome

**Joker: **You've got to be kidding...

**CrazyA: **This...is how _everything_ changes_..._

**Joker: **No, she isn't kidding...

**CrazyA: **Shush. You're up in this chapter. Next chap, it's more about you. And after that, MORE you. You should be happy! No more Jack fluffy stuff...THIS is when it gets BAAAADDDD!!

**Joker: **In that case.........................................................POPCORN!

* * *

**14. Stealing Glimpses  
**_**'This love is difficult but it's real'- **__Love Story, _Taylor Swift

Green large-print men's shirt with rolled-up sleeves. Black men's boxers held up with a belt. To top it all of, black converse sneakers. You could swear that I was a guy if it weren't for my long blonde hair. But even then it was tied up in a ponytail, which some guys could pull off quite nicely. I stared at the newly-painted wall with pride, the black bouquet of roses against the lavender paint was a nice change from the dreary cream it once was.

At the store I had chosen my best colours: purple, black and white. In several different shades, actually. Plus some basic shades of them in spray-cans. My stereo was up at full boom, so that whoever was still inside it could hear it, too.

I looked over to number sixteen, sighing lightly to myself. It was tough coping without Jack in my life. It was like Doctor Who...once an assistant had a taste of space, they could never go back to normal life. I had tried his door several times, knocking and trying to pull it open. But no one had ever answered me.

However...When I had bought the items he wanted (including a baseball bat) and left them outside his front door, I came back a few minutes later to find they were gone. Every last one.

I was on the lookout for clowns now, in case any more of them tried pointing a gun at me. Yesterday had me shaking...I was still confused about that. I had never heard of a Joker before and yet a clown turns up on my doorstep giving me a message from him. Freaky, yes? And what did he want with me, anyway? I was just a girl painting her living-room walls, I had done no harm before to anyone and I never got in trouble with the law. So what did this so-called 'Prince' want? And how the hell did he know about Jack? How did he _find _Jack? I was scared, but I knew that it was dangerous for me to start asking questions.

So I just left my walls to dry and walked over to the laundry. I opened up the washing-machine and tumbled the contents into my laundry-basket. Stepping outside into my own weed-filled garden that was nearly identical to Jack's, I started with the boring-as-all-hell task of putting up the washing. But to put sugar with medicine, I brought my iPod.

God bless Merry Poppins and her fun nanny-tactics.

_We were both young when I first saw you. I close my eyes and the flashback starts. I'm standing there...on a balcony in summer air..._

Oh help, this one always made me cry. _Love Story _by Taylor Swift, my one weakness when it came to tear-jerking. I dropped the washing basket onto the grass and started hanging up my soapy clothes, singing along with every lyric. Curse my easily-distracted mind. Because of washing, singing and sunshine...

I never saw the black car driving up into number sixteen's driveway.

The masked crook got out of his van, complete with tinted windows, and knocked on the door of number sixteen. He was told by stranger dressed as a clown to visit this 'Joker' guy. Apparently he was the one who had taken on a whole bank single-handed and _barely _lived to tell the tale. After no replies, the crook rattled the doorknob to get attention from whoever was inside.

"_See the lights, see the party, the ballgowns, see you make your way through the crowd and say hello..." _a voice sang from somewhere next-door. The crook nicely code-named 'Chuckles' looked over to see a mess of blonde hair and long legs. He smiled at the piece of work, tempted to go over and spread his good wishes, until the door opened.

"Come on in, Chuckles..." a voice called him in. The room was dark, the blinds closed and the lights off. Chuckles walked in, cautious about what trouble he was getting into.

"Some guy dressed in a rubber mask told me to see you..." he said, smirking underneath his own mask. "Said you had big plans..."

"No, no, no...I don't plan things..." the voice, now recognised as the Joker's, replied as if he had called him a pervert. "So, Chuckles, take a seat-tah." The crook bumped into a chair in the dark, his eyes still getting used to the dark. He felt a table in front of him, a coffee table, and he felt the presence of someone watching him.

He could still hear the siren singing her maiden song of princesses or some shit like that. It was like she had come straight outta a Disney flick his kids used to watch. The Joker must've heard her, too, for he turned his head in the direction of where a wall must've been. There were a few tiny slits of light, where the blinds couldn't close down far enough. Chuckles followed his name, imagining far better songs for her to be singing...and dancing to.

And the sick bastard hadn't even seen her face.

"You know, girl-next-door types aren't really my thing...but that beauty might just be..." he laughed, expecting the Joker to laugh with him. But even in the dark, he could feel cold dark burns into his filthy mind. "So what, she yours or something?"

"You could say that...she's an interesting case to study..."

"You make her sound like one of the loonies in Arkham. She needs a guy who can give her respect..."

The Joker laughed, cackling like a hyena who had taken eaten one too many rotting chunks of flesh. "And you think that guy's _you?!_" he said, still cackling madly. "Oh...oh that is rich..."

"I didn't come here to be insulted, buddy. What did you want with me?"

"I just wanted to ask for your assistance...see, I'm a guy who doesn't like getting his hands in dirty-work..." He clenched his hands into fists, and Chuckles knew he was wearing gloves from the sound of squeaking leather. "And I need some..._followers_...if I want to watch Gotham burn...so I have to get myself a team!" His voice soared and fell into different accents. He was a _freak_...a good-for-nothing _psycho_.

"So you want me to join?"

"No, Chuckles..._no_...I'm _ordering_ you to join. There's a big _big _difference with the two..." Chuckles got up, getting sick of this bull already. But as he stood, he heard the click of a gun. He paused in his movements, seeing the shine of the metal in the light from the window.

"Usually I use knives...they're _far _more fun than these little numbers...but it's really quite...uh, _impossible_...to use them in the dark."

"I was just getting up to go look out the window..." Chuckles quickly lied. "If you don't mind a bit more light in the room, _boss._" The Joker sat in silence, not answering. But Chuckles moved just a few more inches...and was spared. He heard the gun being put back in the Joker's jacket. He smiled, sweating underneath the rubber mask, and pulled the blinds up half-way. Just enough to steal a glimpse of a pair of lovely pale legs.

_"And my daddy said 'stay away from Juliet!' But you were everything to me, I was begging you please don't go..." _she sang, in her own world with her eyes shut. The Joker got up and opened up another window, trying to see his favourite stray. One thing that he could see that Chuckles wouldn't pay attention to was her eyes, which were damp and red.

She was crying.

"Sure got a lot of air in those little lungs..." Chuckles said, more to himself than anyone else. The Joker rolled his eyes, physically sick. He had known Jessica for nearly two weeks now, and even _he _had never thought about her as an object.

However, very tempting...

Especially when she was sitting on top of him...

And browsing through nurse outfits...

...Or, better yet, when _he_ was lying on top of _her._

_"Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel. This love is difficult but its re-eal. Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess. It's a love story, baby just say yes!"_ She had a fairly-decent voice...with music in the background it would be better. But still...it was hypnotic. Like a car-crash, neither one of them could look away. She suddenly turned around, eyes open, and looked over to the house. Her pupils shrank in her head as she spotted the wound-up blinds...and the two faces watching her every move.

Joker, smiling in the dark, quickly let go of the blinds and watched them fall back to their proper place: closed. Chuckles, meanwhile, was still eye-goggling her.

"I bet she's loving the attention..." he muttered huskily. The Joker grabbed the blinds in his window and closed them before the crook could say anything else perverted and irritating.

Chuckles was about to say something, when he remembered the click of the gun from before. So instead, he asked something far more official as his eyes adjusted once more. "So what do you want me to do?"

"Simple..." The Joker said, walking back easily in the darkness to the table. He picked up several folders, each one with instructions, and handed them over. "Give these to your best men, plus _this_ one for yourself..." he said as he added another lighter file on top of the pile in his arms. "Follow the instructions, and..." he grabbed the gun from inside his jacket and put it to Chuckles' head, quick-speed. "Don't..._ever_...even _think_...about my kitten again."

I stared at where the faces once were, smiling and shaking at the same time. Another clown...and one I could _barely_ make out...All I could see was white...just plain and simple white...and a purple suit with green waist-coat.

In Jack's house.

_My faith in you was fading...when I met you on the outskirts of town. And I said...Romeo save me, I've been feeling so alone. I keep waiting for you but you never come. Is this in my head, I don't know what to think..._

I didn't listen to the rest of the song, turning it off quick-sharp. I looked in the driveway, spotting a black van and the same clown from the window getting into it. He spotted me staring, and quickly called out:

"The Joker thinks you got a beautiful voice!" He laughed, chuckling in a husky perverted voice that drove me to madness. "He's sure got good taste in neighbours!" He got into the van and drove off.

That did it.

"The bastard!" Jester shrieked, her voice coming from my own lips. I bolted down the side of the house and leapt over the fence, not bothering to use the gate. Scientists say that when a person is angry or in danger, they get adrenaline boosts and can do what they usually can't. I guess I got one of those. For I suddenly found myself landing nicely on my own two feet on the other side before the car had even gotten down the end of the road.

I raced up the familiar front steps and pounded on the door, rattling on the doorknob. "Get out here, you bastard!" I called to whoever was inside. "I know that you have something to do with where Jack has gone! Let. Me. In!!" I ordered, kicking the door so hard I felt it splinter.

"Go away!" A voice ordered back. "This is private property!"

"AND IT SURE AS HELL AIN'T YOURS!" I yelled back. "NOW STOP TELLING ME TO PISS OFF AND OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR!!" I continued kicking and screaming, determined to get inside. Nothing was going to stop me from kicking the guy's ass.

Until he opened the door.

It was Jack...

My dearest Jack...

But the dark circles around his eyes told me otherwise, and the white paint on his skin just told me to stay clear. But it was him...for I could see the rough smile underneath all the white paint. I could recognise his face even underneath all the layers of grease and creams.

"Jack?" I breathed, panting from my burst of rage. "Y-You look...different..."

He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me inside, but not in the way he used to. His grip on me was rough, and his purple gloves weren't helping the situation. It was close to pitch-black inside the house, so he turned on the light to reveal a mess of playing cards, all of them jokers, and a scramble of notes and papers scattered across the floor.

This mad-man was meant to be Jack...

...I told my mind over and over that he was Jack, just playing a joke on me. A sick and cruel joke, but a joke nonetheless.

But I, Jester and my heart knew that the man that threw me into a chair before I could scream was, in fact...

...the Joker.

* * *

**Joker: **yay! I'm in at last! Woot! Next chapter, I get to make Jess crumble in more ways than one! HAHAHhaHAHahaaAHahahaAHaha!!!

**CrazyA: **On another note....just a reminder that I am, in fact, Jess. Jess is ME. She's not an OC. She's all ME! So thanks for saying that I'm not a Mary-Sue! But, that's probably why I'm not... Cause I'm actually an ordinary person in a very messed up story. KEEP THE REVIEWS COMING!


	15. Providing the Smile

**CrazyA: **OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!

**Joker: **What have you done now?

**CrazyA: **Someone finally guessed!

**Joker: **NO!

**Jilander-Napier: **HOORAY! Time for smoochies!

**Joker: **You've gotta be kidding me!?!

**CrazyA: **Pucker up, Joker! JN here found out that Hilary was meant to be Harley Quinn! Congrats Jil! That means she gets a kiss (without tongue) from Mistah Jay!

_*JN glomps Joker, kissing his cheek with much fan-girl furosity. Joker finally gives up and snogs her (with tongue!)*_

**CrazyA: **Yay! Snogs all around!

**Jilander-Napier: **I HAVE ONE OF HIS FILLINGS! YES! EBAY HERE I COME!

**Joker: **I need that!

**CrazyA: **To escape this madness, just read and review! GO AND ESCAPE!

* * *

**15. Providing the Smile  
**_**'It's been a while. I know I shouldn't have kept you waiting, but I'm here now. I know it's been a while but I'm glad you came. And I've been thinking about how you say my name...'- **Break the Ice, _Britney Spears

I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

It was Jack, it _had_ to be Jack.

My heart raced as he pushed me into a creaking wooden chair, straddled on top of me, and loomed into my face. I tried struggling beneath him and pushing him off of me, but he grabbed my flailing wrists and held tight, make me cry out in pain from his grip. I was always sensitive about my wrists, I couldn't bear listening to gory details about crucifixion...so when he had my thin ones trapped in itchy purple leather gloves and a vice-like grip, I couldn't help but scream.

"Kitten, you really shouldn't scream..." he said, his voice a lower, huskier octave than usual. "It really brings out the _worst_ in me..." He bent my wrists back slightly, causing me to scream again. I bit my lip, determined to keep tears back, but that just made the blood behind my eyes throb.

"Look at me, Jester..." he whispered. "_Look_ at me!"

"I AM!" I yelled back, opening my eyes at last. "What do you want?! Where have you been, Jack?! I thought the Joker got you!" Jack cackled with laughter, howling like a wolf to the moon. My moist eyes were blurring the vision, but I could make out Jack's features and scars. I was so confused...I couldn't tell black from white...

"Jester...kitten..." his face went nearer, another millimetre and our lips would touch. "My blue-eyed bambi..." I threw my head back, attempting to get away from him, but only managing to tip the chair over onto its back. I screamed as I fell onto my back, my head colliding with the floor. Blood swirled as my vision went hazy, leaving me in a daze. With a laugh, Jack landed on top of me, still straddling me even though we had fallen off the chair. I tried to squirm away, but his smile just grew.

"Keep struggling, it's doing wonders up here..." he said, smirking. I stopped at once, not wanting him to enjoy this any longer. "You should know by now that I'll _always..._be the one on top in our sick little relationship."

"You're the sick one..." I muttered.

"Ho ha he...very witty, Jester."

"Stop calling me that!" I yelled. "Just tell me what's going on and let me go already!"

"Boo, kitten. You're no fun anymore..." he said, grinning. "But I'll let you in on what's happened in the past few days, and maybe then I'll let you give the orders...deal?" I didn't reply, simply glared at him with full-on hatred. "Okay...where do I begin? Ah, yes...

A few days ago, I had an unfortunate little..._incident-tah_...that changed me for the worst...my 'loving' wife Thalia left, and if I know her she's gone back to the casino even though she's bleeding and broke...She's more than likely dead.

But, you see...I knew _all along_ that this would happen. But I needed her to have an extra...and extra _point _to leave...Something else to ruin her happy marriage...And that little seed of destruction came as _you._ The prettier, younger, happier girl-next-door that was caught in the arms of her husband."

"So you're blaming _me _for what you've turned into?!" I yelled. "Even though _you _were the one who got me drunk and _you _were the one who invited me to dance?!" He quickly pulled a warped version of a potato peeler out of his back pocket and pressed it to my cheek. The warm blade somehow felt cold on my skin as my heart raced. It was a wonder that he couldn't hear it, it sounded so loud in my own ears.

"I really do hate it when people interrupt my stories..." he said, still smiling. "Anywho... So when Thalia left, I knew that I could start putting my idea into action. I had no more obstacles in my path, and I was free to do as I pleased...but then, you kept calling and _calling _and _**calling**_**...**And I knew that you would always be an immovable object against an unstoppable force...but-tah...I didn't really want to get rid of you...you were _far _too much fun...

So I decided, what's a villain without his arm-candy? What use is having a group of thugs doing your dirty work if none of them actually...actually _knows _you? _You..._know me, kitten...You're my last little bit of humanity..." he dropped the knife, which landed only an inch away from my face. "And I don't wanna lose you!" he said as he laughed, acting as if I had just pulled a stupid face. My glares softened, but I was still worried.

"So let me get this straight...you...you want me to be like you?" I asked, sitting up on my elbows. A shaking hand reached out to his scars, and I silently traced one side of his smile. The paint smudged beneath my delicate fingertips as I felt the rough, healing skin. I couldn't be like that... I had a family who cared about me...if they saw me then...I couldn't bare thinking about it. And Kait...she could tell the police department about us. She'd be able to recognise me anywhere. My fingers stayed with his face, and I could hear him sigh as I traced my finger back and forth along his smile. "Jack...I-I can't..."

"My name isn't Jack anymore..." he growled, grabbing a lock of my hair and twirling it between his fingers in boredom. I stared at him, bug-eyed and out of my mind as my hand slipped back to the floor.

"Then what is it?"

He pulled my hair, tearing a few strands out, and kept a serious expression. He didn't say anything, for we both knew what the real answer was. After a few minutes of echoing silence, he finally whispered in a lion's growl... "Say it, Jester..."

My hand searched the floor blindly until it finally found one of his business cards. I showed it up to him and watched him smile as I gave the correct answer.

"Joker."

He got off of me, dancing around the room in joy as he squealed with laughter. I gasped for air and got up slowly, still shaking from the whole ordeal. "I-I don't get it...why did you send that guy to tell me you were dead?"

"Oh, him? Well, many reasons. One, I wanted to see what you would do."  
"You bastard."

"Two, it was technically the truth. And three, I had to figure out a way to give you your little princess dress..." he smiled, a few pale yellow teeth showing. I watched as he kept dancing, turning and turning with purple coat-tails flying. "We've got a lot of work to do if you're going to be my little squeeze."

"Wait a minute!" I yelled, running up to him and gripping him by the shoulders. He smiled at me, eyebrows raised annoyingly. "I never said yes! And what the hell do you mean a 'squeeze'?"

"Simply this," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close to him. He swooped me lower, tango-style, as I wrapped my arms around his neck for support. He cackled as I squirmed in his arms, not enjoying this 'romantic' moment in the slightest.

"Let go of me!" I ordered, hitting his chest weakly. He smiled and did so, my head hitting the floor again. Blood rushing to my brain, I knew I'd soon develop a tumour. I lay on the floor and started staring at the ceiling. "That hurt, damn it..."

"Well I gotta tell you, kitten..." he said, crouching down beside me. "I'm disappointed-dah... that you don't want to help me in my little quest for anarchy...Oh well, you're missing out...but...there is _something _I'm going to need you to do for me..." I stared at my unfocused vision of him, confused.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked. He held out a hand to me, which I took after a few seconds of inspecting. He rummaged around in his jacket before finally pulling out something...a large purple heart on a piece of long black ribbon. A choker from a joker.

Turns out it was a tracking device, which meant he could listen in on my conversations and I think even see what I saw. I have no idea _how _he got it, but he had it. Guess it was one of the Joker's many mysteries. He came up behind me and tied it around my neck. I could feel his hot breath running down my spine, and I got tingles all over my body. He hugged me from behind with his arms coffin-style over my chest and rested his head on my shoulder, his tongue darting out to the beginning of a scar.

"Promise me you'll wear it, kitten..." he whispered in a sickly-sweet mocking tone. "And that you'll never take it off..." He gently traced my collar-bones, whispering every word in my ear. My legs felt like jelly underneath his teasing touch...he had no idea what an effect it had on me.

Remember: Virgin.

"Of course, sweet-pea..." I replied in the same voice he had used. He laughed and let me go, letting my legs stand up straight again. "Anything else you want me to do?" I asked. Best getting them over and done with than slowly torturing me over time... He smiled and faced me, bending over slightly to see eye-to-eye with me. He remained like that in silence, leaving me to stare at his paste-white face.

"What do you think about my...make-over?" he finally asked. He stood up straight, letting me see him in the full-shot. Long purple coat, green waist-coat (with buttons I could recognise from our first day out together) and pocket-watch...very classy and very him. Up to the face...white paint on his face and black panda-eyes. But he needed something... something was missing...

Of course, the bleeding moon.

"Wait a second," I said as I quickly raced to the bathroom. I opened up the bathroom cabinets, knowing on pure instinct that Thalia would have stashed her make-up in there. I pulled open a black cosmetics bag, rummaging through until I found it at last.

City of Gotham, I'm so sorry for what I did. I'm sorry that I'm the one to blame for the grin that was to forever haunt the minds of your children. But let's face it, red looks damn good against white.

I ran back over to him and handed the lipstick over to Joker. He grabbed it out of my hands and looked at it from all angles. "Just trust me on this..." I said, smiling slightly. I didn't have to tell him what to do, he and I already had the same brain-wave. He didn't use a mirror, just went by how it felt against his scars. I guess that was so it could come out horribly twisted...

I watched with curiosity as he applied it to his scars, slowly but not taking too much care. The red stood out proudly against the white, like a lighthouse in the middle of a rough sea.

_But the man in the moon was bleeding, the blood raining from the sky as the haunting image of red-on-white scarred my mind. The dripping ooze tainted my dress, so that my entire body was coated in his blood. I was part of the moon, part of his pain, part of the hurt, part of the madness..._

The white glow, the black clouds and now there was the dripping red blood. He was my haunting night sky. And somehow I managed to be a far-away star, dimly glowing in the dark. He put the cap back on and smiled at me, chuckling lightly. "What about now?"

"Perfect..." I said in all honesty. He laughed and threw the lipstick over to a random spot in the room. He turned back to me, still smiling, and inspected my face. By 'inspected', I mean that the Joker grabbed my chin and pulled me closer to him so that he could get a better look at me. "Time for yours..."

He started pulling me over to the bathroom, but I struggled and pushed his grip off me. "I told you already, I'm not your sidekick! I've got a family and friends who would break down if they saw me on the evening news!" The Joker nodded and sighed, pouting slightly and pulling the puppy-eyes on me. I shook my head, I would never be swayed.

Okay, maybe a little bit...

"Look, I'll stay close to you. I'll buy you food and stuff like that, but I'm not going to help you murder innocent lives and rob banks...okay?"

"Fine. But only...only if I get to teach you how to protect yourself against mobsters."

"Whatever floats your boat, Joker." He started laughing again when I said his name, saying something about how nice it sounded coming out of my mouth. I didn't pay attention, I just played with my new necklace. I was true to my word, I never took it off.

But only because it reminded me how wonderful it felt when he traced my features with his filthy fingertips.

* * *

**Joker: **So your collar-bone is the most sensitive part, Jess? I'm going to have to use this against you one day....

**CrazyA: **hummanahummanahummanahummanahummanahummanahummanahummanahummanahummana......

**Jilander-Napier: **AND I STILL HAVE HIS FILLING!


	16. Private Tutor

**CrazyA: **Woo! New chapter!

**Joker: **Did you ever find out about my filling?

**CrazyA: **Oh yeah...aparrently JN sold it for HEAPS on Ebay.

**Joker: **I'm so going to carve her face in...

**CrazyA: **Calm down, Mistah Jay. I was the one who bought it!

**Joker: **Hooray! So you're going to be really nice and give it back, right?

**CrazyA: **Hell no, I'm keeping it. *polishes it and puts it up with Joker shrine*

* * *

**16. Private Tutor  
**_**'I'm like the ring-leader, I call the shots. I'm like a fire-cracker, I make it hot.'** – Circus, _Britney Spears

Dreams can be funny little things, can't they?

Not the set-yourself-a-goal dream. Those dreams suck. Because once you realise that you'll never become a vet or a pop-star or whatever you want to be, your heart breaks in a thousand-and-two itty bitty pieces. And when you try putting them all together again, some ass-headed-hole decides to break them apart again.

Told you they suck.

But the things that you see while you sleep, _those _dreams are far more fun.

They're so addictive. You fall asleep and then dream a couple of fun little scenes in your head, ones that are really _really _cool. But then when you're starting to wake up you go '_No! I wanna sleep…_' and so you try sleeping again. Just to get back into your own little universe.

But the dream is never the same, is it?

So then you get pissed off at whatever or _whoever _woke you up and brought you spinning back to Earth.

Which is exactly what happened to me two night's after my first meeting with the Joker.

_Tiny stars dotted the sky, glowing as brightly as they ever could. I walked among them, smiling to myself. I was in my classic white dress again, and there was no moon in sight. I was safe._

_I reached for a star, which was burning brighter than the others were, and felt it's warmth in my hand. The glowing miniature explosion was beautiful, tiny and incredibly fragile. And it was all for me._

_But just as I thought it was all okay, the sun in the distance rose from over the hills. My star slowly faded, as did all the others, and I felt myself falling ever so slowly back to Earth._

_I didn't belong in the dark, however beautiful it was. I had to go back to the sunlight. I had to go back to the Earth. I had to have the ground under my feet..._

_But just as I thought I was doomed to be parted from my stars forever, a sudden swoop caused me to fly up above where the sun could never get me back down. Further and further and further I soared, into the dark dotted sky._

_I climbed the heavens, playing and dancing with my galaxy bright. It was beautiful, so very beautiful, playing in the dark. I found my star, which was waiting patiently behind me. And we went on together for what felt like forever. I would always be where the sun couldn't reach m-_

"_MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD! DAMN RIGHT, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS!" _my mobile rang in my ear. Not the best song to hear at twelve o'clock at night. My eyes slowly twitched open as my blind hand grabbed the phone and flipped it open. I managed to find my voice as said roughly into the phone "Hello?"

"Aw, did I disturb your cat-nap?"

"Jack you bastard, don't wake me up like that..." I mumbled as I stretched out my arms and let out a yawn.

"I shouldn't have to remind you about my name, Jester..." he said threateningly. "Don't make me carve it into your skin."

"Very funny..." I muttered, trying to hide fear with sarcasm. "So why are you calling me in the middle of the night?"

"I'm back home from work, and I want to start teaching you some little... techniques..."

"What?" But it was too late, he hung up on me. Guess I didn't have a choice. I would have to start setting an alarm or something if this was going to happen every night. I groaned and got dressed into my jeans and a simple singlet, putting cardigan over the top for extra warmth. I didn't care what I looked like; I just waltzed out of the house like that.

I knocked on the door, which was answered straight away by Jac--the Joker. He smiled and held the door open for me as I walked inside, rubbing my eyelids to get rid of the dirt and sleep.

"Okay, what have you got in mind for me?" I asked, sitting down on the couch.

Not a good move.

"Holy hell!" I screamed as I jumped off , pulling something from out of my jeans. A shard of glass. The Joker laughed, practically wetting himself, as I looked at what I had been sitting on. The baseball bat I had bought for him, but it was painted in green and black stripes and was dotted with shards of glass, a few-dozen nails and sewing needles. I dusted off my jeans and took off my hoodie, in case any shards were stuck there too. I threw the cardigan over by the door and picked up the bat by the handle, inspecting it carefully. "Why did you do this?"

"I was nearly positive that you'd jump at the idea of being a villain...but rolling-pins aren't good enough for a weapon of choice-sah... So I made you this little beastie to go by your side," the Joker replied. I didn't ask how he knew about my rolling-pin, and instead started swinging the baseball bat through the air.

"I'm going to name it...Stripes."

"You're naming it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Of course. Don't you name your knives?" I retorted, smiling away at my wit. He shrugged, mumbling something about pets and names and how I was growing closer to madness every day. As I practised my swings, the Joker walked off and came back with a mannequin, Thalia's lipstick and a tin of black paint. I stopped and turned around, staring at it with interest. "Does this fella have a name too?"

"Let's just call him Manny..." the Joker said, chuckling to himself. I chuckled with him, thinking that this whole thing was a big joke. He pushed Manny a few inches over into my view, so that as I swung it looked like I was knocking his head off. The Joker dipped two of his fingers in the black can and drew two round eyes on Manny's head. With the lipstick, he did a screaming red mouth. It looked like Manny was about to wet his pants if he was wearing any at the time. I laughed; midnight was the twilight hour for me. When I laughed for no reason and went living aimlessly if I was awake at the time.

"Okay, Jester. Just hit Manny as hard as you can and see what happens..." he instructed with a grin. So this was what it was about. The Joker wanted to see how strong I was. It was reasonable, I guess. So I swung with as much power as I had inside of me.

The sharp little points on Stripes stuck into him, but I could still pull the bat off of him with ease. Manny had about twenty holes stabbed into his side now, and the wounds were deep. If he were real, he would be bleeding like crazy.

Mobsters beware. Jess has a baseball bat.

The Joker laughed, poking his finger in the holes over and over to see how deep they were. "Good job, kitten...very good. Try the face."

I did, leaving him with deep holes punctured in his hollow eyes. The Joker laughed louder, close to a cackle. "Oh _this_ is fun! Okay, okay...the groin."

Thousands of tiny scars. It was difficult to hit, seeing as there was a pole running straight through him. But I still managed to scratch the fabric and tear into the stuffing. Manny wouldn't be having kids for a long time. I laughed, it was kinda fun. Sure, on a real person it would be hell scary. But then I would have this night of training under my belt.

"Are you going to keep waking me up at midnight for these anger-management sessions?" I asked as I swung with full-force into the non-scarred side of Manny the Mannequin. The Joker didn't answer, just cackled away. I laughed with him, twilight taking it's tole on me. I felt insane, and it actually felt good. It was _fun_. It was absolutely hilarious. It was one of the most fun nights I have ever had.

The Joker grabbed my shoulder, telling me to stop. I did at once; watching as he put a leather jacket over the top of Manny's scarred body. He smiled and nodded a cue to continue. I was getting exhausted, but I still did it. Again and again I hit the mannequin with all my might until it toppled over. I dropped Stripes and fell to the floor, limp and breathless, laughing and panting at the same time. My blonde rat-nest fell over the back of my head as I supported my weight on shaking arms. The Joker came beside me, cackling all the while, and sat on the edge of the couch, staring at my shaking body on all-fours. Thinking about it now, I was surprised that he didn't take advantage of the situation I was in.

Oh well, guess I was lucky.

"Want to try something else now?" he asked me. I slowly sat up, and nodded. Any more of this mannequin stuff and I'd faint. And that was when he hit me over the head with a boxing-glove.

Okay, maybe he _did _take advantage of me.

I got back to my senses, falling over and getting back to my feet as fast as I could. "What the hell, Jack?!"

"My name isn't Jack, Jester..." he said as he kicked me in the shin. I quickly grabbed Stripes again and got him on the leg, a sewing-needle digging into him. He shook it off with a laugh, but I was taking it worse than anyone else.

"I am so, so sorry!" I screamed, dropping the bat at once. "I didn't mean to-"

"You aren't going to apologise to mobsters, are you?" he asked. "Because that would be just hil-_ari-_ous."

"How bad is it? I'm really sorry!" It just made him laugh harder that I was still playing 'doctors'. The Joker pulled up the fabric, revealing patchwork socks, and inspected it. It was a tiny dot on his shin, hardly bleeding at all. "Oh thank God..."

And just as I let my guard drop, he hit me over the head again.

That was it.

I grabbed the boxing-glove off of him and put it on my own hand. He giggled madly as I walked towards him, anger running through my blood. "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon... hit me, kitten, hit me."

I gave a weak punch to his shoulder, growing exhausted from the worries and earlier training. His high-pitched giggling went madder, more twisted, more _sickening_. "Hit me, kitten!"

"Why?!"

"Hit me!"

"_No! _I won't!"

"_**Hit me!!"**_

I gave a blow to the head, so strong and so sudden that he toppled over onto his back. He remained still, eyes shut and not moving a muscle. I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not underneath his waistcoat.

"Joker?" I asked in a whisper. "Was that enough?" He remained still and silent. I crouched beside him, poking his shoulder for attention. He didn't give any. I was scared. I pressed two fingers against his neck, feeling an incredibly slow heart-beat. But a heart-beat nonetheless. "Joker, get up. I know you're kidding around."

"Darn..." he muttered as his eyelids flicked open. I dropped the boxing-glove on his head and grabbed my hoodie from the couch. "Where are you going?" he asked as he sat up with his legs outstretched.

"I'm tired. I need to sleep. I'm going back home."

"Well _I _think we're not done here, Jester." I glared at him and zipped up my hoodie, showing that I wasn't swayed from my decision. "I promise no more sudden blows to the head-dah... There's just one more thing I need to teach you..." I stared at him, my glares softening slightly as I slowly took my cardigan off. He smiled and took my hand in his, leading me to the back of the house.

He opened a creaking door to reveal a room storing all sorts of wires, gasoline tanks, guns and other dangerous things. Never before had I seen a room as crowded as this one in my life. On one side of the room, which was cleared from boxes and gadgets, was a freshly painted target line of screaming people. I named them all Wally.

"Ta-da!" he said, handing over a hand-gun. I stared at it, wondering if he was serious, but the look in his eye told me to take it. My shaking hand accepted it, slowly and carefully. "This isn't loaded, is it?"

"They're all loaded."

I thought I was going to faint.

He came around behind me, poking me in several random places. "Stay calm, it's just a wall...it won't shoot back. Hold it like this..." he pulled out his own gun and showed me how to stand, how to grip, how to everything. I listened and nodded every so often, but my heart was on a permanent rush. After a few minutes of instructions and sarcastic comments about my piss-poor talents, I fired.

The bullet missed my current Wally by five inches.

I stood, shivering, as my tutor walked up to the wall and inspected the work. He chuckled, but he looked frustrated. "Kitten, you _really_ have to listen to me."

"I-I'm sorry...I've never held a gun before...I haven't even _seen_ a gun before... well, apart from that clown guy that you sent." We were both silent as he came back to my side.

But I had goose-pimples running when he came up right behind me.

"W-What are you doing?" I asked as he pulled me closer to his chest. I could feel the fabric of his waist-coat on my exposed shoulders and the warmth of his breath in my ear.

"You can't learn from just copying me...so I have to teach you using this little method from _Ghost,_" he explained as he kept watch on the weapon. His eyes looked across to me as his smile grew, "Am I making you uncomfortable, kitten?"

I swallowed my fears and shook my head, trying not to gasp as his hand ran down my arm and gripped the gun over mine. A nervous bead of sweat ran down my forehead, which he thankfully didn't notice. He explained everything slowly, carefully, with the occasional chuckle or giggle. But I couldn't hear him, I just felt him. The warmth in every whisper... the spark in every touch...

And I fired.

Dead in the forehead of a very unfortunate Wally.

"Nice job, kitten..." the Joker said cheerfully, patting me on the back. I just keeled over at that, fainting on the spot. Luckily, he caught my unconscious body before it hit the ground and picked me up bridal-style. He giggled and walked back over to my house, knowing that the door would be open like every other night. He walked straight into my room and dropped me on the bed, laughing at the creak of the mattress when I landed. After stroking Noodle and stealing a frozen meal, he left.

Teachers need to eat, yanno.

Well, back to star-watching for me.

* * *

**Joker: **And while she was unconcious I got my filling back! HUZZAH! Read and review, guys.


	17. Second Thoughts

**CrazyA: **Hey, where did that filling go? Oh well... anywho, this is kinda a crap chapter. But then again, I thought every other chapter was and you all seemed to like them. So maybe this is good. Who knows? Just read and review!

* * *

**17. Second Thoughts  
**'_**I can't wait for you to lock me up, in a minute minute, in a second. I can't wait for you to shut me up and make me hip like bad-ass.'- **__Shut Me Up, _Mindless Self Indulgence

Over the next few days, I only really saw the Joker at night. In the day he was always out with his goons, occasionally robbing banks. So far, he had robbed three mob banks.

Pretty impressive in a psychotic way, huh?

Every night I told him more and more about my childhood, my friends, my regrets, everything. Well not everything, actually. I hadn't told him my worst fear. One night he kept asking over and over on a continuous loop for it, right until I walked out on him. That helped him learn to never ask Jess ever _ever __**EVER **_about her fears.

I was actually feeling pretty good about my newly developed skills. I could even hold the gun on my own without shaking. But the Joker still laughed every time I fired. At least he wasn't as close to me as he was my first time. That was really the main reason I fainted. Just built-up-tension plus exhaustion.

Anyway, back to tonight.

I had set my alarm for eleven, giving me a whole hour for my half-dead-half-awake cycle until the Joker called my mobile. But this time I was actually looking forward to our session, and got up at once when my alarm went off. I was sure that he wouldn't mind me coming over an hour early, because he always said that he never believed in setting plans.

So I walked over in the pitch black, knowing exactly where my obstacles were. Fences, rubbish bin, etcetera. I walked up the porch steps, practically dancing up them, and knocked on the door.

No reply.

I shrugged and knocked on it again, louder this time.

Still no reply.

I slowly opened the door, taking careful steps inside. "Joker, you in here?" I called out. I heard someone in the back room, so I went to investigate the noise. The Joker was quickly doing up the top few of his shirt buttons, muttering under his breath. I stared at him from the doorway, not noticed just yet, and watched as he pulled on his beloved green waistcoat. He turned and saw me at last, blinking in confusion.

"How long have you been standing there?" he said, his darting tongue getting the side of his mouth again.

"About... twenty or so seconds?" I answered at last. "I'm sorry if I was interrupting something, I just woke up an hour earlier than usual and decided to come over." He shrugged and walked away from me, handing over my usual gun. I took it at once, smiling at the thought that I wasn't shaking anymore.

"Do you need help?" he asked, smiling in his usual manner. I shot two Wally's in the head as he spoke, only off target by a few centimetres. We laughed, his laugh being the loudest of course, and he watched as I shot each and every Wally on the wall, each one a near bulls-eye. "I'm guessing no..."

"Why did you decide to teach me this, anyway?" I asked him, yelling over the top of the gunfire.

"I wanted you to be ready... just in case if someone tries to...use you in order to get at me," he replied, laughing as I ran out of bullets. I shrugged and started making random whizzing noises to replace them, which made him laugh even more. I was happy being with him, he was far better than any other guys I'd ever had in my life.

Well, let's face it. How many boyfriends teach you how to shoot a gun properly?

"But that will never happen, right?" I asked between 'whizzes'. He stayed silent, merely shrugged until he finally answered with "It's a possibility...either that or I'm doing it for when you change your decision about the whole sidekick thing..."

"For the last time, Joker. I'm not going to be your sidekick..."

"...so how come you enjoy this so much?" he asked. I stopped at once, letting my hands fall by my side. He chuckled as my face fell, leaning comfortably against the wall. "Let's face it, kitten... You set your alarm early to come over here... you've just been doing bullet noises to replace your real ones... and a week ago you were laughing as you beat up a mannequin..._and_ you weren't showing _any_ mercy."

"Shut up, Jack."

He didn't correct me on his name, just kept prodding at me with his honest observations. "Jester... you are... I can _not _believe the words coming from my mouth... Jester... you _complete_ me."

"Please don't start."

"You were once just something in my life...you didn't _really_...fit in with all the other little chaotic pieces. But now... now I see _exactly _where you fit in. You've been a tame little kitten for... so long in your life-"

"You haven't even been there all my life!" I yelled, turning around to see him eye-to-eye. He wasn't smiling, remaining completely serious. For once he wasn't joking around. That alone started making me doubt.

"You've told me enough for me to know... about how your old man made decisions that were beyond your control... how you wished in your life that you could speak for yourself for once, and do what _you _wanted to do."

"Shut up already!"

"And how little Christine...a beautiful young girl so close to your own age was dating daddy-darling-dearest... how you stumbled upon photos and text messages... how he loved her more than his own daughter-"

I punched him, as hard as I could, right in the nose. My right-hook was a powerful one, and he really shouldn't have gotten on my nerves. He howled with laughter, completely unaffected by it.

"And not to mention how you... how you tried making friends, but they never really understood when enough was enough..."

"Yeah, I bet you know a butt-load about that one!"

"But kitten, I'm not as bad as abusive Freddy..." he said, making my blood boil as I hit him again, an uppercut to the chin. "Once he found out about your little faith problem...he didn't like that. Not one. Little. Bit-tah!" he screamed with laughter. Tears came to my eyes as I did what I thought I could never do: I kicked the man I once knew as Jack right in the crotch. I stared at him, scared and angry at the same time as he kept howling with laughter. Pain had no affect on him; if anything he just found it more hilarious. "And yet you put on a brave face, played the big grown-up-girl... and only left him after five months of all sorts of abuse...What I'm trying to say, kitten... is this. Stop grooming your fur. Stop trying to show others just how good you can be. The only person who you're impressing is me... but that's only because I'm _amazed_-_dah..._ how brilliant of an actress you can be...especially for such a long time..." I bent down next to him, on my knees, and listened. He was actually making some sense. And he was right...about _everything_.

"So cut out the act... tear off your collar and little... jingling...bell thing... and join me... have _fun_. You won't have to care any longer about what anyone thought of you... You can help me chase down a couple of cars... be a mad dog...Well, what do you say?"

We stared at each other, trying to see which one would blink first. I sighed and sat cross-legged on the floor, head in my hands as I sobbed. I was exhausted, confused... completely lost... scared more than anything else. I wanted to be with him... I wanted to keep living like this... just relaxed and blowing walls to pieces. But I knew that if I agreed, I would have to do so much more than that.

I didn't notice the Joker sit up, exactly as I was, and take off his waistcoat. I didn't notice him as he unbuttoned the first few of his silvery-blue shirt underneath, showing me another deadly scar. He stared at me for a few minutes before sighing and grabbing my wrist unexpectedly, pressing my hand to his chest. Just as I snapped into focus, I felt it beneath my fingers. A long scar that cut across just below his shoulder. I blinked, staring through my hand and to the scar. So that was what he had been doing before I arrived...he had been trying to stitch it up. "How did you-"

"I was teasing a hostage at the bank today...wasn't pleased with me... used a pocket-knife."

"Did he get away?"

"No, one of the guys shot him in the forehead..." he said with a slight smile. I traced the scar as he spoke, biting my bottom lip to keep quiet. "That's why I need you, kitten... if I go too far... if I go over the line... I need you to clean up the mess I make..."

"By then I'd have gone..." I whispered quietly. I looked him in the eye, not being distracted by his darting tongue. "I-I'll think about it."

And so, here I was. Sitting on the couch, music playing in my ears, in the middle of the night with a heavy head and nagging conscious. Just as I thought I was alone, a figure appeared beside me.

"Hey Jess..." she said with a smile. "Fancy seeing you here, eh?" Jester. She looked tired, which was unusual for her. I guess it was my weary mind not being focused properly.

"I haven't seen you in days..." I muttered. "Don't know if I should call that a good or a bad thing."

"You know why, Jess?" she asked, but she already knew the answer. "Its because I've been in control of you... ever since Jack turned into...well, _whatever _he's turned into... you've been letting slide and revealing more and more of me..."

"That isn't true...it can't be."

"What the heck do you call the past few days, then?" she said angrily. "And just then? You went fully nuts, Jess. And that was all me. Which is technically all _you _but... Whatever! What matters is that if you're comfortable enough to show your true colours to him...then that's gotta mean something, right?"

"So that's what you're here for? To give me relationship advice?"

"I'm here because you need guidance... More than likely about your twisted relationship with the Joker, though. But about this sidekick thing..."

"Don't bother. I'm not doing it."

"Fine, if you're so sure then I'll just leave."

"Wait!" I hissed as she started fading. She came back in full colour, smiling at me wickedly. "Fine, help me out..."

"Well let's see...good points...thinking positive..." she muttered. "Oh! He's right in some twisted sick way _and _you agree with some of the stuff he says."

"Jester, those are the exact same thing. Negative: Our family would be worried about my sanity if they recognise me on the news."

"Didn't he say that you should stop caring about others?" Jester retorted, wiggling eyebrows. She had me there...

"Another negative: Becoming his sidekick could put me in a lot of danger. You saw that scar, didn't you? Imagine what would happen if it was worse!"

"Worse for us or worse for _him_?" Jester said, still grinning. So far, she was winning as usual. "You heard what he said, loud and clear. He _needs _us, Jess... we're his only help, Obi-wan!"

"Enough with the Star Wars references!"

"But it's the truth!" Jester exclaimed. "You saw the look in his eyes, Jess... that wasn't the Joker talking, it was _Jack._ He's going to get hurt if we're not there to hold him back..."

"Negative: He's gone completely _mad_!"

"Posi-freaking-tive: You love him!"

"No I don't!" I yelled, even though I knew she was just empty space in real life. "Sure, I like him. He's really funny and I...I like how he...forget it! Just forget it, Jester!"

"Okay, if you're going to be small-minded for once then at least think about this: If you stay close to him, you'll be safer than on your own where the mob can easily find you. If you stay close to him, you won't have strangers coming and taking you hostage. If you stay close to him and prance around as me in a pretty dress then... then you'll have more of a chance in surviving this shit-load of trouble."

I tried to say something smart alec back. I tried to think negative, think how dangerous it would be. But Jester was right... she faded away as I picked up my phone, dialling his number from the top of my head.

"Joker... I-I'm in..."

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**CrazyA: **DUN DUN DUUUUUNNN!

**Joker: **What did I miss?

**CrazyA: **Just say the line....

**Joker: **Oh yeah...read and review!


	18. The Most Irritating PhoneCall EVER

**CrazyA: **A short little chapter-thingie that I made up in school... because, let's face it. The Joker is a guy who likes to have fun with his girls... (aka-torment them)... This is pretty much a little thing that teaches dilusional fangirls everywhere to block calls from the Joker. ALL OF THEM. Enjoy!

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18. The Most Irritating Phone-Call EVER

'_**When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.'- **__Gives You Hell, _All American Rejects

"Oh ho _ho_!" The Joker cackled on the other side of the line. "About time, Jester! But I'm afraid that you won't be running back to me so..._ easily_..."

I sat up in my seat, confused and interested at the same time. "What do you mean?"

"I don't think you're being nice enough for me to let you be my little squeeze..." Oh great, _again _with the damn squeeze. "After all, you hit me severaltimes _and _bruised my manhood after I spent seven nights to help you become someone greater than the girl-next-door..."

"Look, I'm sorry that I kicked you in the crotch. But remember, _you _provoked me."

"Mm-hm... But _after _I said a whole lot of nice things about the two of us..."

"Yeah, buy me roses before tipping a bucket of acid on my head. Very nice, Joker…"

"Glad you appreciate it..." he said with a chuckle. "But-tah... you still hit and kicked me... you attacked me with a whole lotta force... I deserve a little bit of pay-back, don't you think?"

"...fine." Oh, how I was going to regret this... "What do you want me to do?"

"Answer me this: how badly do you want to be my squeeze?"

"I'm half-hearted on this _sidekick _situation... But yeah... I want to stay close, make sure you're okay..."

"Wrong."

"What? That's the truth."

"You just want to be a 'bad guy'... be a villain... _that, _Jester, is the truth."

"Great words, Zen-Master-Clown-Boy..."

"Sarcasm will only get you so far..." he growled. I was still chuckling at my own joke, not caring what he thought. "So, you're still going to give me a chance for some pay-back?"

"Sure."

"Okay... hm, let me see..." The line went quiet as he pondered what his new torture for me should be. He started giggling madly, thinking up of one at long last. "Beg."

"What?!"

"Beg for it."

"I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say 'beg'."

"You heard correct-ly..."

"There is no way in _hell _that I'm going to beg to be an evil side-kick…"

"You wanted to be my squeeze. I won't let you. Beg, and then I might change my mind..."

"_You _were the one who wanted me to join!"

"I know, but then I changed my mind... you still want to join, and so here we are. Beg."

"No, I'm hanging up."

"Oh come on..."

"If I have to beg for the damn thing, then forget it. 5-"

"Kitten, that isn't fair!"

"4, 3-"

"If you hang up, then you'll miss out on this forever!"

"2 and 1. Good-bye Jack, hope we can always stay in touch..." Don't ask me how, but the phone remained stuck to my ear. I tried letting go, hanging up, escaping from this. But... I just kept holding on. The Joker, on the other hand, was laughing away like crazy. Good God this sucked...

"I knew you wouldn't do it! You're just _that_ predictable!"

"At least I'm not an asshole..."

"Ha he ho... very witty. But come on, Jester... I'm not hearing any begging..."

"You do realise that our conversations over the phone are slowly getting kinkier and kinkier, right?"

"Still can't hear you..."

I shut my eyes tightly, believing that if I couldn't see the universe then it might not be happening. "Please..."

"Please what?"

"Please let me be your sidekick..."

"Jester, you're not persuading me, yanno..."

"For the love of Christ, Jack!"

"Joker."

"Whatever! I am _not _going to beg and that is that!"

We waited patiently for the other person to do something. Make a joke. Give up. Anything at all. Silence seemed to echo throughout our lives. Long, slightly-awkward silence. Then, right as I thought we'd die of boredom, my mouth decided to play a cunning trick on me.

"Please, Joker... Let me be your squeeze..."

A hand leapt to my lips, and I tried to seal them shut. The Joker was having a hell of a time on the other side, laughing and probably smirking smugly. "I don't know, Jester... you're not being very persuasive..."

Hell, I started, didn't I? I might as well finish it. "But please, you trained me to be so very _bad_... I want to be by your side. You said it yourself, I'm better than any old girl-next-door now... Please, please, _please_ let me be your little kitten..." I asked in my sweetest, sexiest voice. I couldn't take it any more, had to use sarcasm. "Is that enough to satisfy? Or do I have to continue? I want you, I_ need_ you, oh baby, oh baby..." I added flatly.

"Sure, _kitten_. That'll do... welcome to the team..."

"So what do I do? Do you want me to come back over or..."

"No, you need some rest. I need to think up something for you anyway... by the time you wake up, I'll be done. Goodnight, Jester."

And he hung up on me.

I put the phone back and walked to my room, going past a window. The Joker happened to be going past his at the time and we locked eyes. He gave a cheesy grin and waved, still smug about how he had won. I just glared my most evil of glares and flipped him the finger. I needed sleep, sleep I needed. And when I fell onto my bed, not bothering to wrap up in covers or even get into pyjamas, it came in an instant.

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**CrazyA: **Oh how fun this chapter was....^^


	19. MakeOver's Are Totally Fab

**CrazyA: **YAY!

**Joker: **What do you mean, 'yay'?

**CrazyA: **Just yay... PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! PREPARE FOR AWESHUMNESS!

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**19. Make-Over's are Totally Fab  
_'Why should I welcome your domination? Why should I listen to explanations? I'm not pretending to make it simple, try to be something experimental.' _**_– Perfect Enemy, _TATU

_The lonely kitten searched the alley-ways, hungry and begging for food. All it wanted was someone to pick it from the streets and be taken into a warm and loving home. It just wanted to be happy. But things weren't going to plan._

_A pack of dogs looked up from their bowls, growling and hissing at the lonely kitten with baby-blue eyes. It was pure-bread. It didn't belong there amongst dogs. The kitten walked over to a pile of uneaten scrap, shivering in each step. It was starving. It didn't want any trouble._

_But the dogs though otherwise, they circled her and growled. Fresh meat was the only thing they had on their minds. The kitten tried to scratch and hiss, but it couldn't compare with a pack of dogs pushed at her, bit her, coated her fur with spit and filth._

_But one lonely howl from outside broke the rest of the others apart. The mad dog, with dark eyes and bitten ears. It growled at the others, making them whimper. Deep down, they were nothing but cowardly pets. Household objects. This dog was different. This dog was a stray._

_But he took an interest in the kitten, all lost and alone in the world. He picked her up in his mouth, not caring about the taste of filth and drool on her, and carried her off to his home. A cardboard box with a bunch of tattered newspapers, but it was home._

_"Are we having good dreams, then?" the dog suddenly said. The kitten shook its head, not believing what she heard. Talking dogs didn't belong in the universe, right? "C'mon, kitten. Wakie, wakie eggs and bacie!"_

_The kitten felt something push her, playing with her fur. Jess-the kitten- was trying to stay asleep. Jess refused to get up. The kitten was sleeping. She _wanted _to sleep. She wasn't going to let a mad dog boss _her _around..._

"Up you get!" the Joker yelled in my ear as he pushed my still-sleeping body onto the floor. I landed with a heavy 'thud' and a sharp pain on my side, instant wake-up call. "Or down, whatever works..."

"What's the time?" I muttered sleepily, stretching out my arms and accidentally-on-purpose punching him in the leg with mighty force. He grabbed my wrist and shoved me back onto the bed (seriously, make up your damn mind) with my head facing the clock. A neon set of numbers flashed back midday. I rubbed my sore forehead, which had hit the bed-post with mighty force, well and truly awake.

"So how am I going to spend today... bound and/or gagged or left alone in peace?" I asked, chuckling at my own sense of sarcasm.

"More of the first one..." the Joker answered in a giggle as he opened up my closet doors with such style I could swear he was on Broadway. He even shouted out 'ta-da!' when he found my Jester's outfit. He pulled it out carefully, his darting tongue getting the side of his mouth. His makeup was smudging, he must've been sleeping in it, and I could see a little bit of skin-tone underneath. "Have you tried it on yet?"

"Actually, no..." I said, realising it for the first time. He pouted and threw it to me, putting on an innocent and guilt-tripping expression.

"Why not-tah?"

"I don't really know... I guess I just never got around to it..."

"How can you not get around to put on a dress?"

"I can make a lot of things possible..." I said. "Such as jam on the ceiling and the death of printers." I stared at the dress in my hands, suddenly realising something. "What's the day today?"

"I think it's Saturday..." the Joker muttered, looking through my drawers for my gloves and tights. I screamed at once.

"The party! Shit! It starts at seven!" I ran to the bathroom, already trying to tear off my singlet with my bare teeth. The Joker followed, laughing all the way as I slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Its half past twelve, why do you need to be so worried?"

I unlocked the door and poked my head around the corner, not letting anything show. "Are you kidding?! My hair takes at least an hour to wash, plus _three _for drying and brushing!"

"And if I know my math you'll have three hours left until what's-her-face picks you up!"

"But in those three hours I have to get dressed, brush my teeth, feed Noodle, struggle with tights, do my mascara _without _smudging it, and style my hair just right so that it looks _exactly_ like Jester's!"

"In other words, shove your finger in an electric socket?"

"Exactly! Now I'm wasting time talking to you, so go away and let me have my shower!" I slammed the door and tore off my jeans, throwing them away into the corner. Whatever sunshine my life had suddenly faded into thunder clouds, and the rain combined perfectly with the shower.

Meanwhile, a certain perv had decided to continue the search for my gloves. Of course, in his search he managed to find something...of great importance to me. Smiling with proud smugness, he came back to the bathroom and knocked on the door. I stopped rubbing shampoo in my hair and opened the door slightly, seeing his smudged white face looming at me.

"I'm guessing it won't take you long for you to get into this flossy number..." he said slyly as he held up...my...my green and black laced knickers.

Do _not _ask why I own them... I just do. For extra confidence or something. Jester was bugging my one day and I shut her up by buying those. I loved them, they were my favourites.

And now he was holding them between dirty, soot-coated fingers. Bastard.

I attempted at grabbing them off of him, but he pulled them out of my reach. This caused me to stumble and...

...the awkward bar went up another several notches. Ding!

My soapy naked body fell forward and landed on him, staining his clothes with water and bubbles from my shampoo. He was laughing as hard as he had ever done, catching me by my slippery elbows. My exposed chest landed on his, if he bent his head down slightly then he'd get a full view of my breasts. I was clutching tightly to his green vest, trying not to fall over again, but that just made matters worse. I glared at him, even though my face was bright red.

"Don't... say... _anything_..."

"Not even _one_ funny remark?"

"_Especially _a funny remark. If you even dare to move a _finger_ I will shove Stripes up your arse and it _will_ hurt like total hell..."

And so we stood there, the shower still running in the background, but otherwise in total silence. But then reality kicked in and I realised that I should start to move away from this awkward situation. So I grabbed my barely-there underwear out of his hand and retreated as fast as I could back to the bathroom. After a few minutes of more silence, in which I rinsed out my shampooed hair and started repeating the process, I figured he had left me.

"You do realise that... that this is all just a big waste of time, right?" the Joker called through a crack in the door. Of course, he _had _to come back. I didn't reply, too frustrated with him to make a witty comeback. "'Cause you're not going to the party anyway..."

I sighed, getting tired of this game so very quickly, and turned off the shower. I wrapped a towel around me and opened the door, glaring at him. "What do you mean? I've got the dress and every-"

"Exactly..." he said, poking my shoulder to shut me up. "If a guy walked up to you... and I'm guessing with your very forward approach that he would... he would make a very bad attempt at seducing you with 'incredible charm'... but-tah...you'd fall for it. So he'd give you his name-"

"And that would be?"

"Something very ordinary, nowhere _near_ as mysterious as mine... and you would give yours back. So then later when you're caught on television next to me in the same pretty dress...he'd know _exactly _who you are."

"So you're playing the role of my dad and not letting me go to prom? That isn't fair!" I protested immaturely. "Kait's picking me up, I _have _to go! She invited me!"

"Which is why I'm giving this..." he handed over a phone. He probably got it while I was rinsing out my hair. "Call Kait and cancel tonight. Don't tell her anything about what's going on... I don't want the police to figure out our..._identities_..."

"Easy for you to say, you don't have one..." I muttered, grabbing the phone. "Look, what do I tell her? I can't pull the same stunt you did, it'll make her ask questions."

He rolled his eyes and closed the door, leaving me with the device in my hand. "Do you think I care? She's _your _friend, so _you _make up the reason." I sighed and turned off the shower, doing my part for the planet, and sat on the bathroom tiles. I could never stand and think at the same time. I slowly dialled the number, trying to pretend none of this was happening. She picked up almost at once, sounding bright and cheerful.

"Hey, this is Kait."

"Hey Kait, it's Jess..."

"Oh hi there! Are you getting ready for the party? It's going to be so cool!"

"Yeah... Look, Kait... I'm not going to the party."

"What do you mean? Jack made your costume and everything! You can't just bail out only a few hours before it!"

"It's really complicated, Kait. I can't tell you much..."

"What's happening? Are you in trouble with someone?"

"Um..." I was tempted to tell her everything. About Jack's dramatic change, my late-night-classes with him, and even what my new life was like. But I knew that the monster behind the bathroom door would kill me if I did. "I'm really sorry. Please, _please _don't worry about me no matter what you hear. I'm fine, I just can't tell you much about this..."

"Jess, what's going on? This isn't about Jack, is it?"

"I'm sorry, Kait. I really am... I gotta go. Please don't worry. I'm fine. Have fun at the party, pick up a cute guy for me, okay?" I hung up at that, not bothering to listen to her protests. I sighed and got to my feet, towel-drying my hair and brushing it slightly. I didn't bother with conditioner, I had a feeling that the Joker wanted me to hurry it up. I was about to get back into my jeans when I heard him call through the wooden panels, "Princess dress, if you would be so kind!"

I picked up the garment, which I had tossed into the bathroom sink during my craze, and smiled slightly. This was the first time I would be trying it on. I stepped into it and tied all the long black ribbons up at the back as tight as I could. The silky-soft inline hugged my curves and gave me a set of boulders Jessica Simpson would approve of. Oh yes, this was better than any old nurse costume.

When I calmly opened the door, the look on my partner-in-crime's face explained it all. I was a bomb. And boy did it feel good. The skirt flared out a little, but still showed off my curved waist-line. The Joker eyed me up and down, grinning at what he had turned me into. I smiled and made my way back to my room, finding my other accessories easily. I struggled with the tights, but managed to get them on with comfort. The gloves fitted as easily, as did my dark green converse. I put the hat on top of my wet hair and slid on my shining purple jewellery. When I walked back out, the Joker was waiting patiently at the front door.

"C'mon, kitten..." he said, smiling at me. "We've got one last thing to do for you..." I raised my eyebrows and followed him out the door, across the dried lawn and to his house. He led me inside and pushed me into his bathroom, making me sit down on the toilet seat. He crouched in front of me, so that our eyes were at the same height, and he stared at me with his classic smile.

"Have you ever gone to a carnival, Jester? I went once with my mother... bea-utiful summer day, sun shining and clouds as fluffy as that...cotton-candy... But what I remember most of all... it wasn't the jugglers... it wasn't the strong-man... can you guess Jester?" But before I could reply, he answered for me. "The _clowns_... I remember their smiling faces... they would _always_... always smile. _So_... I figured that if _I _looked like them, then _I_ would smile more..."

"What does this have to do with me?" I asked, raising eyebrows suspiciously.

"Getting to that, please wait with me. So now that I have a little sidekick, I decided... we have to be two of a kind, you know? Jester..." he leaned in on me, his head resting on my shoulder and his body supported by two hands by the side of my legs. His mouth grazed against my ear as he whispered darkly in his frightening pitch...

"...I wonder what you look like when _you _smile..." He giggled madly and opened up the cabinet, revealing an overflow of black and white paint.

"Wait! I don't use paint! I just use mascara and-"

"If you were paying attention to me, kitten... we need to look alike-kah..." he muttered, dipping his fingers into the thick white substance. Before I could even blink, he gripped my chin tightly with his free hand and wiped his fingers roughly across my forehead. "If I use paint, you use paint... simple as that..."

"Two of a kind..." I muttered, barely able to move my lips. He smiled, happy with the fact that I was finally getting this at last. I tried not to breathe in the strong smell of paint that was suffocating my lungs, but it was a difficult challenge. The cold of the paint chilled me, but his warm fingers were somehow a comfort. I closed my eyes, relaxed as my skin replaced itself with a new white mask.

"You know what I just noticed?" he asked me, smudging the paint around my right eyebrow with his thumb. "If I played connect-the-dots with your freckles... I'd get a nice little mask outline right around here..." He lightly traced a series of dots around my eyes with his clean pinkie before rubbing over the top of them with his now white thumb.

"Yeah... I've had those forever."

"It's a shame that they have to... uh, _disappear-rah_ underneath all this paint." He sighed slightly, his fingers pausing for a moment before continuing their path across my cheekbones. "Oh well, no gain without pain." The hand that was gripping my mouth moved to the back of my head, just where my hairline finished, so that he could have paint my chin. I sighed slightly, enjoying the touch, before realising what I was doing and shut my mouth.

The Joker didn't mention anything then and there, but he stored it away for later use. Sneaky bastard. His smile grew as he let go of me, causing my eyes to snap open in surprise, and rinsed his hand carelessly before opening the black tin. Almost done.

He slowly drew circles around my eyes, giggling at my new 'glasses'. I didn't reply, just waited for the moment when I could look in the mirror at long last. The Joker filled in the areas around my eyes, his fingers light even though the paint felt so heavy. I felt him smear the mix under my eye, some getting on my lashes. Somehow I managed to let a tear slip away, which ran over the top of the paint and down my cheek. He saw, but said nothing, merely sang a random and bizarre ditty to himself as he worked.

His fingertips moved away from my eyes, but I still didn't open them. We both knew he wasn't done yet. There were two more things, only one of them I knew would happen. But what happened next came as a surprise.

The Joker dipped his finger in paint again, still humming and singing at the same time, and rubbed a small dot onto my cheek. I opened my mouth to protest, but he merely shushed me and carried on working. Just above that dot, another, and opposite that came another. Plus a smaller one at the very top between the three of them. I had no clue what he had drawn, but I knew that it was good in his twisted mind because he started giggling all over again.

"And finally, the beautiful smile..." he said, his finger slowly heading for my lips. I bit them, scared about the chemicals in the paint, but slowly relaxed my mouth and pouted slightly. I heard him chuckle, but his fingertip was shivering. He had touched my lips only once before, and that felt so long ago that it was lost amongst other memories.

For once, he was actually quite graceful. His finger barely touched my skin as it slowly, slowly made its way. I was breathing in paint fumes and feeling dizzy, but I still sat straight and let him do as he wished. The marks extended from my pout and made my new grin slightly wider than any normal person's, but nowhere near as gruesome as the Joker's. I held my breath, for I could feel his own on my face.

Those scars still tempted me even under all his makeup.

He smiled and got to his feet, looking at me in full-shot. He giggled and ruffled my hat, laughing harder at the jingling bells. "Come on! Take a look! Come on come on come on!" He was like a kid at five a.m. on Christmas Day. I slowly got up and looked in the cracked mirror, gasping silently at what I saw.

Jester, my original Jester in her dark mascara and green eye-shadow, was smiling sadly. She shrugged her shoulders and sighed, giving a little silent wave. "This is it Jess... you won't be seeing much of me anymore..."

I didn't reply, that would be weird even around the Joker, but she knew what I was thinking. "I'm sorry. But then again, I'm not really going anywhere. After all, I am _you_. And I'll be behind the wheel 24/7 now. So I guess you should be saying goodbye to your conscience... this is confusing, hey?" She laughed, but her blue eyes weren't as bright as they used to be. "Well... have fun. And be safe!"

And with that, she was gone. My true reflection took her place.

Pale, snow-white skin and black smiling lips. Bright blue gems that stood out against coal-mine shadows, just as glowing hazel did with my creator. And there it was, the Joker's surprise for me. An upside-down spade in thick black paint. I stared at this new face, trying to get used to it seeing as I'd have to see it every day for the rest of my life.

It didn't feel like mine, it felt like a stranger was looking back at me. Sure, someone with my cheek-bones and jester's cap, but still a stranger. It didn't belong to me. But it was beautiful, nonetheless. "You're a true artist, Joker..." I whispered, watching the person in the mirror say each word with me.

"Glad you like it..." he said, still chuckling.

"So what now? Do we go and rob a couple-of-dozen banks?" I asked, almost a bit too eagerly.

"No, no... I have to give you a _very_... important-tah...mission."

* * *

**CrazyA: **Let's say it together! YAY!

**Joker:** Prepare for some very, _very _full-on scenes next chapter.

**CrazyA: **DOUBLE YAY WITH FUDGE!


	20. Pizza and Pricks

**CrazyA: **Hey! Long time no update, hey guys?

**Joker: **You left us for that... that _pumpkin_!

**Jack O'Lantern: **Don't call me a pumpkin! Just because I have a cooler title than you doesn't mean that you can get all snobby!

**Joker: **BASTARD! *_two get into fight, Jess watched on sidelines*_

**CrazyA: **Oops... I wonder what will happen when I post my Zim story... anywayz. I would LOVE it if you guys checked out my Jack O'Lantern story 'Sacrifices Must Be Made'. It would make me so happy! READ AND REVIEW!  


* * *

**20. Pizza and Pricks**_**  
'I'm the kinda of girl girls don't like. I'm the kind that boys fantasize. I'm the kind that your momma or your daddy were afraid you'd turn out to be like...People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality. I'm a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent.**'- Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me, _Tata Young

How did I get into all this again?

Oh yeah, just moved into a nice house. Could use a paint-job, a couple of new couches and then it would be a nice place to crash in. Wanted to 'get away', go somewhere new and fun.

Oh yeah, _then _I started hearing random arguments next door about the wife's gambling problem. Plus the occasional stumble-upon their extreme-sports version of a snog.

Very awkward.

The when I was invited to a party and had a sudden need for my alter-ego's costume, I managed to get caught up in a whole lot of mess with the mad husband Jack. And 'mad' didn't even cover how weird he was. Then, after he got me drunk, his wife catches us dancing together. Which he planned _all along_!

A few nights later and she's out of the picture, leaving him with two hideous scars and a whole new identity as 'the Joker' (_which he also planned!) _and a very confused next-door-neighbour. A few _more _nights later and I'm suddenly involved in all this.

Huh?

Seriously, wow...

But that still didn't explain why the _hell _I was about to deliver 'an important message from the Joker' to each of his thugs. _And _why he couldn't do the tedious task himself. _And _why he asked me to do the old fashioned 'looks that kill' approach.

"I know about your little... _laws..._" the Joker had said before I could protest. "But if it comes down to it, I expect you to do it."

"Why?!"

"Because..." he had loomed in closer to me, eyes at the same level as we stared into the opposite person's dark pupils. "You're my squeeze, you do _anything _for me."

Damn it.

So that's how I got here...

Standing outside a stranger's apartment, dressed in a corset and fishnets, holding tightly in my fingers an envelope with instructions from a guy dressed as a clown..._how _did I get here again?

I pulled my phone from underneath the layers of skirt and netting, which was hiding in one of the pockets the Joker had sewn on for me. You know, for holding iPods, cell-phones, knives, guns, grenades... the bare necessities. I flipped it open and dialled the number, walking away from the front door and to the end of the hallway, heading for the stairs.

"You do realise that this is the..._ third_ time you call me, _right-tah_?"

"I don't care, I can't do it..." I hissed into the cold purple metal. "You hear me? I'm not going through with this!"

"I heard you the first several times, now scoot and play nice with the kind man!"

"No!" I started pacing the floor, angry at the lunatic and what I had to go through with. "I will not suck up to a random stranger! I will never-"

"I'm making dinner..."

"Huh?" I said, suddenly pausing in my pace. "You're _cooking?"_

"That's right."

"Y-You're actually cooking?" I said, amazed at the words coming from my mouth. I started laughing, this was just so unreal for me. "Okay... what are you cooking? And if it's your mum's recipe or something like that, I swear that I'll wet myself."

"Why is it so hard to believe that I'm cooking a meal?"

"I'm not going to answer that."

"As for what I'm cooking... you'll just have to find out-tah."

"Cool."

"But after you deliver the instructions," he laughed hysterically as he hung up on me at once. I stared into space, listening to dial-tone, with the phone pressed to my ear. Smart bastard... I groaned and hid the phone in my skirt again. It was time to get this over and done with.

I walked over to the door and knocked loudly, putting on my bravest and most flirtatious smile. Th clown inside opened it up slowly, the chain-lock still in place as he poked his head around the door.

Oh what a glorious sight for that slimy creep.

A blonde, blue-eyed girl dressed in fishnets and a bizarre short dress with deep, dark make-up and a shining flirtatious smile. How lucky he was indeed...

"You work for the Joker?" he said, raising his eyebrows underneath the rubber mask. Pervert. I could see his eyes shifting down to my chest, and it was everything I had inside me not to hit him around the head.

"Yeah, I'm on work experience..." I chuckled. Although I was easy on the eyes, he still didn't trust me. He didn't open up the lock and stared at me from behind the holes in the mask. "C'mon, let me in already."

"...this is a joke, isn't it?"

"Why the hell do you think they call him the Joker?" I retaliated. "Let me in."

"I don't think you asked nicely enough."

"I don't ask, I order."

"Let me guess, you're the kind of girl who likes to be on top?"

"Are you coming onto me?"

"What kind of person would do that to a fine thing like you?"

"I'm not hearing a 'no'..."

"I'm not going to let you in, girlie."

"I'm the Joker's eyes and ears, buddy. Now if you don't let me in soon, I might just have to file a complaint. Open. The door."

We stood there, staring at each other for several short seconds, until he finally unlocked the door. He held it open for me and I walked inside, smug with my success. I guess he wanted to be safe. After all, if a thug messes with his boss' bitch then he's totally screwed.

And we wouldn't want that, would we?

I took careful steps inside, being careful and cautious around this guy. If he tried anything on me, I had one of the Joker's knives hidden under the frills of my skirt. I felt safe, but playing with the heart around my neck made me feel just gave me a little bit of extra confidence.

"I don't think I got your name..." the masked moron asked me.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours..." I replied, not turning around. I kept my place in the middle of the room, refusing to budge as he came up behind me and put a hand on my bare shoulder.

"Sure... it's Chuckles..." he said, laughing at the stupidity. Of course, the Joker had to name each of his thugs like the seven dwarfs. That was just so him. I laughed slightly, holding tightly onto the bead. I wasn't comfortable with the way his fingers felt against my skin. Sure, the Joker had touched me there before... but not like this. This was just sickening for me.

"Jester," I stated blankly. I moved away quickly, trying to get out of that room as quickly as possible. I knew guys like him, they belonged in zoos. I handed over the envelope, in an outstretched arm. "Here you go."

Chuckles stared at it in his hand, not bothering to open it. He looked at me from behind the mask, and I could swear that his pants were getting tighter every time he saw me. Pervert. "Why are you so special to the Joker?" he asked.

"...I have more brain-cells than a lot of other girls," I answered, smiling slightly. Chuckles dropped the envelope on a coffee table, uninterested in any stupid mission. Well think about it, male readers. What would you rather?

a) An envelope filled with orders from a clown?

Or

b) A hot chick that appeared suddenly at your front door without warning?

Let's be honest here.

"It isn't just that, is it?" he asked slyly. "You've got more than a couple of extra brain-cells... what is it that you did to him that allowed you to last this long?" He took a slow step towards me, but I remained my ground. "What was it that a little thing like you did to keep on living in such a big, scary world?"

He stood right in front of me, and I flinched when he took a sudden step towards me. He chuckled, and I bit my bottom lip in anger. Chuckles put a finger on my lips, letting it slide down my chin and neck. "What sort of things can these pretty lips do? What made the Joker pick you out of all the other blondes in Gotham?"

I slowly put a hand up my skirt, trying to find the knife. Chuckles saw, but took it in the most primitive way possible. He stuck his own hand on top of mine, underneath the layers of skirt. His chuckles became deeper as he pushed my hand slowly up my own thigh.

But oh, he shouldn't have done that.

See, these were my hands. And thus, I was the only person who should've been controlling them. I moved our hands back to the hidden pocket in my skirt, and I ran his finger against the metal blade of the knife. I felt the warm red liquid run down my hand as I scratched his finger quickly and pushed his hand away.

"What the hell, you crazy bitch?!" he yelled, inspecting the little boo-boo on his finger. Seriously even I wouldn'tget fussed over it. It barely needed a band-aid. I giggled and pulled out the knife, watching with interest at his expression. "Fine! I'll work for your precious boyfriend! Just put that fucking knife down!"

"Don't worry, I'm not going to waste my energy on you... besides, my 'precious boyfriend' will be able to take care of you with far more ease..." I said, smiling manically at the thought. "But, I'm feeling particularly nice. So I won't tell him about you messing with the boss' bitch. However... if you ever try a crazy stunt like that again..." I walked over to him, hiding the knife once again. "And you can consider yourself fired my good sir."

So that how most of my meetings went with his thugs. They hit on me, I showed them my knife, they begged for mercy, I went to the next one. None of the others were as bad as Chuckles, but I wasn't going to take any chances. So by the time I got back to my second-home, I was seriously pissed off.

But when I opened the door, I couldn't help but smile. The rich smell of oils and grease, plus the usual stench of dynamite and dirt, filled the air. "How was your day dear-rah?!" the Joker called from the living-room. He burst into laughter as I pretended to straighten an imaginary tie and hang up an invisible coat.

"Probably not as good as yours..." I said with fake cheer. I recognized the source of the greasy smells as I spotted the five pizza boxes stacked up on the coffee table. I laughed, two of them were empty. For such a thin guy, the Joker had a huge stomach. "You've gotta be kidding me..."

"Cooking didn't turn out quite so well for me..."

"Then why can't I smell anything burning?"

"Let's just say that... the cooking kind of... didn't exist."

"Yeah, that would be hard to work around..."

"Just eat your pizza already."

I didn't need to object. I sat down next to him and grabbed a box, opening it up and grabbing the cheesiest-looking slice. I should have known... meat-lovers supreme. I wasn't that surprised when I opened the other two boxes and found two other meaty-looking pizzas. However, I was surprised that the Joker suddenly wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. A blush quickly spread to my face and my heart-beat quickened. I pushed him away, I had enough of that from his thugs, but he kept a tight hold of me.

"Please, just give me some space..." I said, still chewing on a slice of pizza. The Joker stole another box and rolled his eyes, still smiling though, and grabbed his own slice of cheesy grease.

"I knew it," he said, not caring about shutting his mouth when he ate. I was used to seeing things being eaten like animals, so I didn't object, but I still kept my dignity and kept my mouth closed as I chewed. "The fellas gave you... a hard time."

"Emphasis on the 'hard'... I don't know what to be, flattered or disgusted. So I chose morally outraged and showed them not to get on my nerves," I said, smiling at the memory of Chuckles' freaked-out face when he felt the knife. That was the highlight of the day for me if I wasn't eating pizza. The Joker laughed, nearly spilling pizza-grease down his shirt.

"Well you won't have to worry about them anymore..." he said mysteriously. "They'll be taken care of at the bank-heist tomorrow..."

I choked on my pizza. "What?! Tomorrow? This soon?!" The Joker merely nodded, giggling at my face (which was caught between dumb-struck and pissed-off). "B-But you'll be there, right? After all, you are the boss."

"No... I don't like getting my hands dirty."

"Well screw that! You have to help me with this one!" I cried, my face turning red. "How will I get there, anyway?"

"Oh a charming gentleman by the name of 'Chuckles' is picking you up... did you play nice with him today?" he said, licking his lips. I was starting to wonder if he did that every time he tried to bring me down a bit lower. I didn't reply, I merely grabbed a piece of pizza with extra-extra cheese and forced it into his mouth.

Never. Again.

* * *

**CrazyA: **Um... Joker...

**Joker: **I'm not speaking to you...

**CrazyA: **Please?

**Joker: **No. If the reader wants to save our relationship, then he/she has to read and review and enter the Jokernova contest. *mad hinting*


	21. My New Beginning

**CrazyA: **Sorry that it's late! But I swear that the wait was totally worth it!

**Joker: **This is the opening scene of The Dark Knight, only _Faith Won't Save You _styled.

**Jester: **And I get ki-

**CrazyA: **DON'T SPOIL IT, DAMN YOU!!! Anyway, I had to use my sis' iPod to watch the movie coz I didn't want to scratch the disk and YouTube is being slow because it's the end of the month. Also, I got the names 'Chuckles' and 'Grumpy' mixed up. Oh well, they die in this chapter anyway. And if that was a spoiler, than you obviously haven't seen the movie.

**Jester: **WATCH IT! WATCH IT NOOOOWWWW!!!

**Joker: **Wait, aren't you two the same person?

**CrazyA&Jester: **... no. *_back away from eachother_*

* * *

**21. My New Beginning**  
_**'They're gonna rip off your heads, your inspirations to shreds, another cog in the murder machine.'- **Teenagers, _My Chemical Romace

I woke up at around mid-morning, I had a late night with the Joker and wanted to sleep in. But my heart beating so loudly in my chest... It was my last morning of being normal. The last morning where I was still just Jessica Jean. For when the clock strikes twelve, the entire world would just know me as a wanted criminal. I would be ostracized from everyone else, and more than likely end up in prison. But first, the eleven o'clock news. _Then _prison. Or better yet, Arkham Asylum.

I was still in the Joker's living-room, lying comfortably on his couch. The smell of pizza was getting to me, so I threw out the boxes and heated up the final three slices in the microwave for breakfast. I knew the Joker long enough to know that he would _never _have anything decent in his fridge. So pizza was my only option. I didn't really care, I was used to heating things up in the microwave. Besides, it made the morning feel a little bit more casual.

My stomach had fallen to the bottom of my innards, and I remembered the feeling that I got constantly throughout my life. The feeling of having to do something when you _really _didn't want to. Got it often throughout high-school... mostly in PE lessons. But never had this one been so strong.

I breathed deeply, inhaling through my mouth and exhaling through my nose. I stretched my arms, my legs, every limb and muscle. I breathed slowly, deeply, and quietly. I hardly ever did yoga, but every time I had a test, moved homes, or just overall felt tired, I used it as a last-resort-option to get me relaxed.

And hell, did I need to relax then.

I raised my right leg, pushing my foot on the inside of my left, and placed my palms together in a classic yoga pose. Tree-stance or something like that... I tried standing as long as I could, as still as I could, and as relaxed as I ever hoped to be. It worked, to some extent, before you-know-who came up behind me and poked me in my neck.

I stumbled and fell back onto my feet, back into worry-mode. The Joker, on the other hand, was giving me the biggest smile that I had ever seen on a grown man. But the again, this was the Joker we were talking about, he could bend the occasional law of physics. "Did Sleeping Beauty have sweet dreams?"

Great, another pet name. I could see why, since we were both blonde and liked sleeping for about a hundred-or-so years. But I drew the line at that. "Sleeping Beauty lives in Disneyland. _I, _on the other hand, slept horribly."

"Aw... what a shame. Because _I_ slept surprisingly well..." he said, still smiling. I hopped up onto the counter, knowing that he'd be talking for a while. "Did you wanna know what I dreamt of?"

"I have a feeling you'll tell me anyway, so sure."

He laughed and jumped up beside me, swinging our legs together in perfect timing. "I dreamt... of a sweet little girl. In her early twenties, but still a sweet. Little. G_irl-lah..._ well, that's what everyone else saw her as. But I... _I _kept noticing the little things... that kept her different-tah..."

"Why do I have the strangest guess that you dreamt about me?"

He didn't comment about me interrupting, just stared at our legs as we swung them casually. "The first day you moved in... if you want to be precise. You were so... cute. So hideously, sickly-sweet _cute_." His grip on the edge of the counter tightened, and I could see the white of his knuckles. "I knew, one day, I had to change that. And as soon as the very thought ran through my mind... however... _disturbed_... it may be... the dream changed. Instead of moving-vans and cardboard boxes... I found myself lying on a water bed... with you beside me." He wiggled his eyebrows, smirking, and I found myself close to gagging and blushing at the same time.

"Okay. Stop right there. I have to know, were my pants still on in this dream?"

"Un-for-tune-ate-leee… yes."

"Oh thank God..."

"But I could still see a lot of other things on you, too..." he said. "Scars... bruises... and a whole lot of blood..." I stared at him, wondering what the hell he was talking about now. I was sort of scared. He _had _to tell me this right before I go and try to rob a bank with a bunch of perverts. "And it got me into thinking... if you keep being with me, you're going to end up broken... and on that day, even _I _won't be able to save you..."

"What are you saying?" I asked softly. He finally looked up from his shoes and smiled and me, taking my hand in his. Inside, I could have done a dance for joy, but at the time I was too concentrated on the seriousness of what he was saying.

"This is your last chance to back out, Jess..." he said, his voice lost all hint of the teasing joy he once had. And the fact that he had used my real name was enough for me to realise that he was being honest (for once.)

I took a deep breath and relaxed, nodding my head. "Yeah... I-I can do it."

He smiled at me and slapped me on the back, sending shivers of pain all down my spine. He jumped off the kitchen counter and held out a hand to me, helping me jump off the counter. I landed and watched him walk over to the fridge, the microwave beeping in the usual attention-seeking way.

Just as I took out the slices of pizza and was about to start eating them, I felt a familiar pair of arms snake around me. He pulled me close to him, giving me a sort of backwards hug. He rested his pointed chin next to my neck, his lips close to my ear and his breath on my skin. The greasy slice in my mouth broke off, and fell back onto my plate with a splat. Somewhere in my mind, my correct English grammar went 'splat' in the same time. All the noise I could make from my mouth was... well, no noise at all, actually.

"I _always_ knew you could..." he whispered in my ear. He held me tight, no real meaning behind the embrace. Meanwhile, I was trying my hardest not to splutter with laughter and break into a chorus of squeals. His arms lost their grip on me, and he stole a slice of pizza before going back to the fridge.

Of course.

But just before he did, he planted a kiss on my cheek.

I blushed underneath my makeup. That kiss gave me all the confidence I needed for today. But as soon as I finished my unhealthy breakfast, I heard a car-horn beep at the front of the house, and half of that confidence faded away.

"C'mon, Jester!" the Joker said, grabbing my plate and throwing it in the general direction of the sink. "Don't be late for schoo-ool!" he sang-songed merrily. I chuckled and grabbed my hat and Stripes from the living-room, shoving it on my head and walked out the front door.

A new dawn was coming, but the weather was going to be miserable.

Luckily, the Joker and I were carrying umbrellas.

I spotted the black van at the front of the house and hopped in at once, knowing exactly who it was. Chuckles did a double-take at me, groaning in disbelief. I rolled my eyes with him, stretching my feet across the backseat of the van. "No, I'm not dead yet. Don't get your hopes up."

"If you try anything funny-"

"-Was that a threat? Or are you forgetting that I have connections with your boss..." I said slyly. "And I'm sure as hell that he would have connections to some other loverly people, too..." Chuckles went quiet, and I couldn't help but smirk. "But don't worry, buddy. I came prepared..." I pulled out my iPod, picking out a random song, and put the ear-plugs in tightly with the sound up all the way. "Feel free to complain all you want, I can't hear a word."

He did, he gave a rant as he drove about how long I thought I would last. How I was really just a little trophy, another notch on the Joker's belt. But all I heard was a mumble as we swerved around corners and down streets. We had a half-hours drive, picking up a guy every fifteen minutes. By the time we would reach the bank, it would be quarter-to-twelve.

Of course, our boss had thought all this through.

The first clown hopped in, who I remembered vaguely as Grumpy. It matched him perfectly, for when he took one look at me I could hear him mutter a whole list of complaints to himself.

"Are we there yet?" I whined for the third time. Chuckles was on the verge of shooting me in the forehead, so I had to space out my complaints nice and evenly. Otherwise, the consequences could've been fateful. "So it's just us?"

"Not yet, sunshine, there's one more coming."

I sighed and rested my head on the window, my face warming up from the afternoon sun. I looked up and saw two of the other thugs sliding across a thin rope between two sky-scrapers. Anyone else who saw this wouldn't have given a second glimpse. This was Gotham, nearly everyone in the city limits had committed a crime or two. They'd hear better details on GNN, so they might as well just wait until then.

We went round the corner, down two avenues and around another bend, finally meeting at the corner another thug in his mask. I didn't recognise him at first, but when he jumped into the car and pushed my legs back down onto the car floor, I recognised his mask.

"What the hell are _you _doing here?!" I yelled, pointing at him. This clown, who I had named Bozo, was the same one who told me 'Jack' had died. I didn't remember having to come up to his house in order to get him an envelope... maybe he already had one. He didn't answer, and the other two in the front stared at me before driving off again, wondering what I was getting at.

"Three of a kind, let's do this," Chuckles said to all _four_ of us. Fine, ignore me.

"That's it? Three guys?" Grumpy asked in astonishment.

"Plus Blondie over here, fellas!" I yelled at them. They ignored the comment and kept talking. I just rolled my eyes and stuffed my iPod away again.

"_Five_ guys, two guys on the roof. Five shares is plenty."

"_Six_ shares, don't forget the guy who planned the job."

"He thinks he can sit out and still take a slice. I know why they call him the Joker."

"And why would that be?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. I didn't mention to them the fact that _I _got a share in this, too. But they kept silent, knowing not to bitch about him whenever I was around. But surprisingly, the clown sitting beside me didn't say anything. His lips were tight, and he stared at me from behind the mask. "Take a picture, it lasts longer."

We arrived at the bank, a flash one with grand architecture. Only the Joker and I knew it was a mob-bank. Chuckles and Grumpy got out of the car and bolted up the stairs, while Bozo and I followed. He did a search of the scene, looking around at his environment like an animal in its pen, before running up the stairs.

This was it.

This was really it.

No more Jessica Jean.

No more normality.

No more nothing.

As soon as I walk into the bank, the world will know me as Jester: a psychotic twenty-something-year-old that was born into a life of scum and merciless crime. I tried holding back tears, but one slowly ran down my face. I stood still, mind-blank for a minute, thinking this all through again. I shut my eyes tightly and slowly walked forward, whispering my good-byes to the people I loved.

I followed the three clowns inside, jumping up each step playfully. I knew how I was expected to act, and it all came naturally. I turned the revolving-door and plastered on a believable grin as Chuckles let off a couple of bullets into the air. Time to play...

Grumpy took a security guard to the floor, forcing him on the ground. I skipped past, singing a random series of notes to myself. The Joker wasn't the only person who could do that.

"Alright everybody, hands up and heads down!" Chuckles called over the top of the innocent screams. It was hard to believe I was a part of all this... like a crazy dream... "I said 'hands up, heads _down'_!!" He ran over to a man at his counter, sliding him over the top and onto the floor. "Let's go pal, I'm making a withdrawal here!"

"You heard the guy, just take it easy and try to relax!!" I yelled, skipping around and swinging Stripes casually by my side as terrified screams echoed around the massive hall. I turned back around to Chuckles, watching as he threatened a young blonde counter-girl who had her shaking hands in the air.

He liked them blonde, didn't he?

"I said stay down there!" he yelled, dragging her over the counter with the first man. A girl _really _shouldn't be treated like that...

"No!" she screamed, crying helplessly as he pointed a gun to her head. I walked over to Chuckles, more pissed off at him then ever, and rammed Stripes into his shoulder. He yelled and twirled the gun to my face, a few inches away from my nose.

"A girl's hieny is sensitive! Just leave her alone and keep doing what you have to do!" I yelled. I had more power than he did, we both knew that. He grumbled and jogged on, leaving me with a smirk on my face.

"Thank you..." the girl whispered, still crying. "I really thought he would shoot-"

"Keep quiet!" I yelled. I knew that if anyone found out that I had loosened up on a hostage, the Joker would be onto me as soon as possible. Another hostage, a few feet away from Chuckles, was trying to make a break for the nearest door. He turned around sharply and pointed the gun at him, giving him more orders to sit down.

Bozo was running around to each hostage, giving out explosives and pulling off the tab. They had to stay like that, otherwise the whole bank would go sky-high. So this was what the Joker did each day... turn peace and simplicity into absolute hell and chaos...

For the people who were involved in that day's robbery, I'm sorry. I truly am... I wish I could've helped you. Heck, I wish I was one of you. Then I wouldn't have this heavy conscious. But...

...I'm sorry.

"Obviously we don't want you doing anything with your hands other than holding on for dear life!" Chuckles addressed to everyone on the floor. Bozo kept handing out grenades, and I circled them all, taking on a few of the Joker characteristics. Bad shoulders, big smile, tapping Stripes against my shoe playfully. Grumpy was on the other side of the bank, knocking the cop unconscious with the bottom of his gun.

"On the ground! Stay on the ground!" he yelled, aiming his gun wildly in all directions. "Nobody make a move! _Nobody_! Stay down!"

BANG!

He dropped dead to the floor, a window shattering behind him. He had been shot in the back. I screamed and dropped to the floor, locked in a crouch. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe. Fear paralysed me and kept me in my tight position.

The bank manager came out, carrying a heavy-looking piece of a gun. I was dead meat. He could easily shoot me from where he was. This was it, this was the end...

I love you, Dad. I always did. No matter what I said, I always loved you.

Susan, you were the best sister anyone could have. I hope you'll forgive me for what I had become.

Mike, you'll always be my big brother.

And Mum... I love you. Simple as that. Don't worry about me. I died inside long before I was killed.

Goodbye.

A hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me over as we skidded across the floor, the bells on my hat ringing merrily. We ended up behind a desk, just out of the manager's shot. I opened my eyes and laughed. I could see. I could feel the itchy fabric of my fingerless gloves. I could smell the dirt on my saviour's clothes. I was still alive. I looked behind me and saw Bozo's familiar mask looking down at me. I mouthed a 'thankyou' and crouched down low. I would have to repay him. He saved my life.

But then I heard the cocking of a gun and the manager fired once more, just missing my hat. I screamed and the two of us ran across the floor, keeping low and close to the desks as he let out three more rounds, the empty shells falling to the floor with a 'clatter' each time. Bozo and I came beside Chuckles, the three of us hiding together and gasping for air. We were safe for now.

"Do you have any idea who you're stealing from?! You and your friends are dead!!" the manager called out to us. I shivered, we weren't safe after all.

"He's out, right?" Chuckles asked, looking at me. I shrugged, shaking my head in desperation with a look of absolute panic on my face. We both turned to Bozo, who after some quick 'thinking-time' nodded his head.

Liar.

Chuckles stood up, ready to shoot him, but received a blow to the shoulder instead. He groaned and fell back down, landing a foot away from me. Bozo leaped up and pulled out his gun, shooting the manager several times in his own shoulder. He fell like a broken puppet from Thunderbirds and lay still on the floor. I slowly got to my feet, watching Bozo as he tilted his head curiously, observing how the innocent man tried getting up but failing miserably.

"Where did you learn to count?!?" Chuckles yelled at Bozo, inspecting the minor wound and walking off frustrated to the vault. By now, the two that had been on the roof would be unlocking the vault. I kept my eyes on Bozo, who I was starting to have second opinions on. He looked at me, and I could swear that I saw a familiar glint in his eyes.

"Who are you anyway?" I asked in a tiny whisper. He didn't answer, just walked around the room and scanning it briefly with his mysterious eyes. "Thanks, by the way... On saving my life and all..."

"Oh shut up already!" the manager called from the ground. I walked over to him and kicked him in the shin as hard as I could. He groaned with pain and I smirked, walking away again. I heard a muted chuckle coming from Bozo's mask. I smiled slightly, happy to know that I was doing a good job at being bad. Chuckles returned, surprisingly alone, with a bagful of cash. He ruined the silent connection I was getting from Bozo, and pushed over another bag.

Bozo and I dragged over those two bags, putting them together in a pile, as Chuckles came back with more bags. More and more came, until we finally reached a total of seven bags. As we Bozo piled on the last ones, Chuckles had to put in his last word on the subject.

I'm serious when I say 'last word'.

"If this Joker guy was so smart, he'd have us bring a bigger car." I rolled my eyes and played with Stripes, spinning him around and around on the marble floor. But I came to a sudden stop when I heard the sound of Chuckles' gun being cocked. I looked up, staring as he pointed the gun at Bozo. "I'm betting the Joker told you to kill me as soon as we loaded the cash."

I was about to protest, but I noticed that Bozo was rather calm about this situation... He checked his watch and sighed, the first noise he had made all day. "No, no, no, no... I kill the bus-driver..."

I smiled. I recognised that voice. I recognised the way he side-stepped, the gun still pointing at him, but he acted so natural and calm. I didn't say anything, just let Chuckles have his moment.

"Bus-driver?" he asked, growing more and more suspicious. We both saw the fear in his voice, and I could swear that the gun was shaking. "What bus-driver?!?"

The Joker was a man of many surprises, so I wasn't that shocked when a bus came crashing through the wall and knocked Chuckles to the floor. He was killed instantly. I turned to 'Bozo', smiling all the while. "I knew you'd come back to save me-"

"-school's out, time to go." Another clown jumped out of the back of the bus, saying the obvious. "That guy's not getting up, is he?" We tossed bag after bag to him, watching as he loaded them up into the yellow vehicle. "That's a lot of money."

"Way to go, genius..." I muttered sarcastically. "I think a toddler could've figured it out better than you."

He didn't hear me, and looked around for any other familiar faces. "What happened to the rest of the guys?"

Another round of bullets was shot into his chest, and he fell to the floor like the other four clowns. Bozo walked over the rubble of the crashed wall, dragging a bag of weapons along and pushing them into the truck with the rest. I was smiling. It was surprising to think about it, but I was. I was just happy to have him back. We were about to hop into the car, when a familiar hostage piped up: "You think you're smart, huh?"

Ah yes, the bank manager. I had forgotten about him. 'Bozo' and I turned around in unison, even our eyebrows raised in perfect timing. "The guy who hired you... he'd just do the same thing to you."

Never.

We walked over to him, me giggling behind the masked clown as he continued ranting. "Criminals in this town used to believe in things... honour... _respect_. Look at you! What do you believe in? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?!?"

'Bozo' shoved a bomb in his mouth, keeping it in there firmly. "I believe... whatever doesn't kill you..."

He took off his mask.

And another startling clown-face stood out from underneath.

White pasty skin, dark haunting eyes...

...and the biggest smile, outlined in red lipstick.

"...simply makes you... _stranger_." He smiled and got up, walking calmly back over to the bus. I stared at the manager on the ground, running up next to him and kissing him on the forehead. Black and white makeup smudged his face, and he sat there in absolute shock.

"See you 'round, cutie!" I stuck out my tongue at him and giggled, following the Joker's tail of string that connected to the bomb in the guy's mouth. I knew it was a dummy, so I wasn't worried. The Joker had explained it to me the night before. I was just worried about missing his 'pwned' expression when he figured that out.

The Joker closed the bus doors behind me, and another clown up at the front drove off. As soon as we were onto the streets, he started up mad laughter. I had to laugh with him, for there were two other thugs in the bus with us. I could only go back to normal when I was alone with him.

"Perfect, kitten!" he said, smiling at me. "Better than I expected!" I giggled, jumping around in mad circles. I dropped Stripes and ran up to him, embracing him in a tight hug.

"You _did_ come!" That part was natural for me. "You were there this whole time!" He stopped laughing, startled by what I was doing at first, but then hugged me back. He lifted me up and swung me around in a circle, the two of us laughing together. The two other clowns laughed with us, except they were never as relieved as I was. The Joker dropped me again, and I landed on my own two feet.

"Well I had to make sure you weren't messing things up..." he said. I hugged him tighter. We both knew what he was trying not to say. He gave me my second kiss of the day, on the opposite cheek this time, causing me to nearly lose control of my senses and trip over the bags.

Thank God I was still wearing my makeup.

* * *

**CrazyA: **I cried when I was writing the good-byes to my family. It was very emotional for me...

**Jester: **WHAT ABOUT ME?!?! I WAS THE ONE BEING SHOT AT!!!

**CrazyA: **Whatever. This chapter is dedicated to Holly, one of my closest friends and most demanding readers. So to you, we all say...

**Joker, Jester& CrazyA: **IT'S FINALLY UPDATED!!! STOP ASKING!!

**Jonathan/Scarecrow & Edward/Riddler: **Didn't you say you needed us?

**CrazyA: **Oh yeah... c'mon over, HG. _*pulls out awesome reader, highland girl 1592*_

**HG: **What?

**Joker: **If I have to pash one more reader, Jess, then I'll resign.

**CrazyA: **Don't worry, Jay. HG was the second person to guess who 'Hilary' was. She also got it right, but she just didn't answer in time. So I decided to be really nice and let her get a runner-up prize which she asked very nicely for. BOYS! PUCKER UP!

_*Scarecrow and Riddler kiss HG on both cheeks* *HG faints while CrazyA & Jester squeal*_

**CrazyA: **So there you have it. Please review!


	22. Trust

**CrazyA: **Hello!

**Joker: **She's got ANOTHER one!!!!!

**CrazyA: **And then there were four... please check out my latest deviantART journal for more details. READ AND REVIEW!!

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**22. Trust  
**_**'Sometimes I wanted to cry when the people on TV were not the way we were. Somehow I guess I just knew...' **__– Didn't Know I'd Love You So Much, _Repo! The Genetic Opera

The Joker was at the wheel of the bus, singing the tune of that irritating song every child sang at least _once _in their life. Round and round and round and round...

"Can you please stop?" I asked, piping up from the broken seat behind him. "It's driving me mad." The other two thugs had jumped off the bus, so I could finally relax and be myself again.

"Madness is just the first step to being free..." the Joker muttered. I rolled my eyes, even though I was used to all these zen-like replies. "Jester, listen to me for a second, won't you?"

I looked up from my iPod, blinking innocently. "What?"

"What would you say if I told you we were moving?" he suddenly asked.

"I'd be pissed off at you and then realise that you were joking."

"Well I'm not-tah. We're moving."

At first, I just laughed. But the fact that he wasn't joining in for once opened my eyes. "Are you serious? We're moving away from home? This suddenly?"

"Some of those morons have families, Jester... they'd be pretty upset-tah once they found out their son or brother or husband had been working for the Joker. They'd track us down and... You're not listening are you?"

"We are _not _moving. You can, but I'm staying home. I don't have any of my things with me, and Noodle would go feral without me."

The Joker kept silent, muttering something under his breath, as he quickly changed his direction and swerved, the bus close to toppling over. Cars honked at us, calling us a bunch of clowns. Well, that was kind of true. After a few minutes of crazy, close-to-silent driving, he parked quickly outside a familiar house.

Home.

"Get out, grab some things and get back in." It was an order, I had to do it. I gave a weak salute and pulled open the rigid sliding door. I jumped off the steps and ran inside, pushing the front door open and coming to the sounds of a neglected cat.

Home.

Golden, warm, loving home.

I nearly cried.

I ran to my room and pulled out the biggest suitcase I had. I pushed in every set of underwear I had, including fairy-floss and nanny-nunders. A few shirts and a pair of jeans was all I had for outer clothing, I knew that I would be expected to wear my Jester's outfit most of the time. Pyjamas, a towel, toothbrush, toothpaste, my favourite deodorant and everything I needed for my hair. All the needs were in, now I just had to pile on the wants.

Photos of my family, my camera, my iPod and phone chargers, plus my laptop in a separate saddle-bag.

I was, let's face it, a material girl. I need my possessions and my obsessions to survive and keep me sane.

I dragged my now-heavy suitcase to the front door, where the Joker was waiting for me with a smirk on his face. He knew that I would do it, just break at his will with hardly any complaints. But just as I reached the door, I bent down to pick up one last little piece of extra baggage.

Noodle struggled in my arms, soon calming down and starting to purr. The Joker stared at me, eyebrow raised beneath his makeup. "You are _not _taking the cat."

I glared at him before looking back down at my beloved pet. "Tough Toblerone, she's coming."

I tried walking past him and to the bus, but he grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me back inside, slamming the door shut behind him. The look in his eyes told me that I had to tread on careful ground, for an intense power was building up behind them.

"You seriously think that... _thing_...is allowed to come with us?" the Joker said, leaning on the door.

"What do you mean 'thing'?!" I cried, clutching Noodle tighter to my chest. "I thought you liked Noodle!!" Noodle struggled and kicked my chest, finally freeing herself from my arms. In a flash, the Joker crouched down on the floor and clutched her to his own chest.

"Oh, I like her a lot..." he said darkly. His free hand quickly pulled out a knife, the menacing glimmer so bright in my own eyes.

"NO!" I yelled, running over to him. He stuck out a leg, tripping me over and giggling as I fell flat on my face. I froze on the floor, staring up at my cat with wide eyes. "Please! I've had her for almost my whole life!!"

I reached out a hand to her, but the Joker swung his knife at me as a warning for me to get away. It scratched through my fishnet gloves, and I cried at the shock of the pain. "Jester, darling, make a decision... tick tock ticking..." he muttered, smiling at me.

My jaw had dropped and I watched as he held Noodle tighter to him, the knife at her throat. She let out a loud howl, the way she was being held hurt her. My eyes filled with tears, but I didn't wipe them away. I shut them tightly, breathing deeply as I thought it over. In a situation like this, the only thing I could do was think.

"C'mon, Jester..." the Joker muttered impatiently. I opened my eyes and slowly sat up, looking him in the eye.

"What if we got a babysitter?"

* * *

Kait sighed with relief as she wiped off the last of the mud-mask. It had been another long day at work, and she could finally relax. The TV was creating white-noise in the background, the evening news on with an upcoming special report. She heard the microwave beep and went to fetch her dinner, emptying it from the plastic dish into a proper dining bowl. Just to make it seem less... depressing.

A hasty knock at the door and the shuffling of footsteps distracted her from her dinner. Kait walked over to the door and looked in the door-peek, surprised when she found no one on the other side. She slowly opened the door and looked around, wondering what was going on until her attention was caught at her knees.

"You're pretty far from home, aren't you, Noodle?" she asked. She bent down and ran her fingers through the silky grey fur, smiling as Noodle licked her fingers affectionately. "But where's your mom?"

As she scratched Noodle under her chin, she felt a piece of paper fixed in the feline's collar. A note. She pulled it out and opened it up, reading the shakily-written message.

_Kait,_

_I know this is really unexpected, but please take care of Noodle. You're the only person I can turn to for this and I can't leave her on her own. Thank you and don't panic, no matter what you hear._

_Jess_

Kait looked from the note to the cat, who was rolling around on the floor peacefully. Looks like she wouldn't be spending anymore nights by herself. She looked up at the TV, noticing something familiar about the image onscreen. It was a frozen still of a scene at a bank robbery...

A girl in a black and green dress, skipping after a clown dressed in purple. A mess of blonde hair and a very familiar jester's cap was all Kait could make out, but that was enough for her to know who it was...

"_This new 'apprentice' of the Joker was scene with him at a bank robbery earlier today, reported to have been 'skipping and singing' as the masked clowns ordered hostages onto the floor. Though the subject is currently nameless, channel six has been asking hostages of that day for any links to who she might be."_

It was a good thing that Kait wasn't at the bank that day, otherwise I might have had to end this story sooner.

But what I loved most about Kait, and what I still love about her, was that she could've called up the news stations and the police and told them everything. She knew who the two of us were, and could've easily put us behind cell doors in Arkham Asylum. But she didn't... and it was just because I had told her not to panic. I could never ask for a better friend than her.

Meanwhile, I emerged from the elevator and snuck my way out of the apartment building. The yellow bus outside the doors was waiting for me outside on the curb, filled with bags of money and clothes. I pushed open the sticking doors, jumped inside, and closed them behind me. The Joker was up at the wheel, still not smiling.

"Happy now?" he asked bitterly. I nodded, even though I was still crying on the inside. I let out a yawn and collapsed in the seat behind him, my eyes growing weary. I curled up, trying to keep warm. I envied his warm jacket, and stared at him as he shifted gears.

He was watching me watching him, looking up at the rear-view mirror and catching my blue eyes. He groaned and got up, ending my dazed staring contest at last. He took off his purple jacket and threw it atop of me, making me jump at the sudden weight. "Put it on."

I did so, he didn't have to tell me twice. It really was warm... and cosy. And it had his scent: ash, sweat and paint. I relaxed my eyes, my knees tucked up on the seat as he got back in his seat. I muttered a quiet 'thankyou' and nodded off to sleep. The day had been long, and the stress was getting to my head... the only thing I wanted to do was drown in the scent of a madman and dream away of better days...

* * *

**CrazyA: **It's short, I know, but trust me... awesome Watchmen-inspired JokerXJester stuff coming up in five-or-so chapters!

**Joker: **Great, she's fallen for another guy.

**CrazyA: **No, actually.

**Joker: **_*a few seconds of blinking* _You serious?

**CrazyA: **Yeah, all the guys in the movie are wankers. One walks around naked and glowing, another one is a nerd that likes owls, another one is a total dickweed while the other is this blonde twerp. However, there's one guy who has a mask with moving ink-blots and he is BY FAR the owner of the coolest mask of all time.

**Crane: **Fine. Be that way, biatch.

**CrazyA: **I'm sowwy... well not really. READ AND REVIEW!


	23. Group Therapy

**CrazyA: **I'm soooo sorry about the late publishing, guys! I've had heaps of work to do and I'm currently on holiday, so I rarely get the computer... plus, I had to watch TDK for this scene, but I couldn't really be stuffed... but I saw it with my friends and then instantly got my laptop again! So YAY!! I'm sorry fi it's not quite right, coz I did the scene from memory... PLEASE REVIEW!! YOU GUYS ROCK!!

**

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**23. Group Therapy  
**'_**He's always living in the midst of power, are we living in the final hour? There is always sweet in the sour... '- **__Joker and the Theif, _Wolfmother

_Two lonely stars destined to dance forever in their twisted tango, their whacked-up waltz and their blazing ballroom..._

_Merely two lonely stars, dancing in the darkness of the sky, lighting up the world with their dance..._

_The Earth against them, for they couldn't join in the dance made for two, nad they glared up at them with hatred. The smaller star dimmed slightly, hurt by the glares from the planet below... but the larger star, the brightest star in the night, kept her dancing and dancing..._

_...forever in their tango._

It had been such a peaceful dream, I just wanted to get back to sleep. I grabbed the covers around me and pulled them up over my head. I just wanted to sleep... it was so cosy in this bed, even though it wasn't the one I was used to.

The Joker has damn good taste in hide-outs.

I turned over in the bed, my eyes still half-closed, and buried the side of my face into the warm pillow. I smelt ashes and dynamite, and I knew that if I opened my eyes I would find his jacket still on me. I curled up my legs, forming a tight little ball of body heat, and wandered back to my star-lit dreams. I closed my eyes and gave a tiny sigh as I let go of my breath and senses... it was so pleasant.

"Sleeping Beauty has _nothing _on you, lazy bones..." I heard the Joker say. I never realised how close his voice was, I just had enough energy to understand what he was saying.

"Well Sleeping Beauty never slept in a bed this comfy..." I muttered, my eyes still shut tightly. I heard a rustling of sheets and the warm scent of explosions became stronger.

"Will you be... _emerging_ from your little hidey-hole soon?" he asked. I muttered something unintelligent and pulled the covers up closer to me. Pretty soon, I was just an orb of blankets and body. I felt my covers shift to my right, the material slipping through my fingers, and the warm scent came closer and closer.

"We have to get up soon, yanno..." he whispered.

"Mummy, five more minutes..." I muttered. Suddenly, a gentle hand traced my cheek. My eyes snapped open, and I recognised his firm fingers on the side of my face. I blushed brightly, my face turning into a lighthouse. I let out a tiny whimper, and my heart was flying high above the world. His makeup had smudged a little during the night, and I guessed that mine had done similar, but his brown eyes were still the same as I remembered.

"What's for breakfast?" I asked, trying to change the subject. The Joker chuckled, his hand running lightly on fingertips to my hair.

"I thought you wanted to stay in bed-dah..." he said, smiling widely. I stared at him, wide-eyed and yet so comfortable at the same time... "Sleeping Beauty slept for a hundred years, while you've been asleep for only... ten hours."

"Well I need to see the place, right?" I said. I tried to stop his hands by rolling over, but his hand on my neck tightened. I stopped trying to escape and instead gave in, smiling weakly at him. "Why did you sleep with me, anyway?"

"Well..." he said, smiling at me and raising his eyebrows. "You either stayed with me, or I gave you to the dogs..."

Ew. I didn't want to risk sleeping on the couch with his thugs. Did we even have a couch? I really _did _have to take a look around. "Seriously, Joker... I'm hungry."

"Mommy, five more minutes!" he whined playfully in an attempt to mimic me. I laughed and hit him over the head with the pillow, which he shook off lightly. With a laugh, and still dressed in his jacket, I walked out the door and found myself in a hallway leading to the living-room/kitchen.

There was a stain-coated couch, and millions of Joker cards thrown around the area. The kitchen was close to filthy, and the stove-top coated with grease. A few thugs had made breakfast, helping themselves to eggs and coffee from the pantry, and the smell was wafting through the air. They were all parked comfortably on the couch, ignoring the stains, and watching the morning news on TV. I raided the fridge, looking for anything of interest, and found a half-eaten meat pie. I banged that into the microwave, humming a tune to myself. The song that we had danced to.

Suddenly, the Joker came behind me while whistling the same tune. It was like a chorus of strange hums and whistles. The thugs were too distracted with the news to pay attention to us, so we carried on with what we were doing. My smile went wide, and I stopped humming as I listened enviously to his whistling. I could never whistle, my mouth wasn't the most cooperative thing in the world.

"I never knew you liked that song..." I said.

"Well it's _our _song, technically. So I'm meant to like it."

"We have a song?" I said, laughing at the very thought. "You make us sound like a couple..." In honesty, I felt like we were a couple. I was wearing his jacket, which was one size too big for me, while smelling of morning and him. We were humming the same song, and we were trying to make breakfast. Plus the fact that I had woken up beside him, hugging blankets close to my chest, was a bonus for me.

A blush fled to my cheeks at the memory, which he saw instantly as a chance to make me quiver in my converse. He reached for the purple material on my shoulders, letting his fingertips slowly dance along the back of my neck as he took the collar. I shivered, blushing brighter and brighter, as his hand slowly slipped away.

I loved to hate him.

"Go freshen up, will you? We have to attend a meeting..." he said, pulling his arms through his sleeves.

"What meeting?" I asked through a mouthful of pie.

"A book-club." I finished my pie and walked back to the bedroom, knowing that he was going to tell me when we got there like he did with every other plan. Why he did that, I never really understood. Maybe it was so that by the time it happened I couldn't protest about it.

I opened the bedroom door and took a good look at the room, it was pretty big. With a large, I guessed a queen's, bed in the middle of one wall. A bedside-table sat on the left side, where the Joker had slept, and an alarm-clock showed me that it was 9: 47. A door on the left side of the room led to the bathroom, and a door on the right led to a cupboard. I opened it up and found my bag, which had been tipped out into a pile of messy clothes, was on one side while boxes of explosives and grenades on the other.

Mustn't get those two confused.

I got a new pair of knickers on, prayed that there was a laundry in this place, and went to the bathroom. It was fairly clean, surprisingly. But then again, we had been in the place for only one night. A few more days and it would be a sty.

Next to the sink were the buckets of paint and lipstick, in the three famous colours, just waiting to be used. The chemicals stung my senses, and I had to breathe through my mouth so I didn't hurt my nose. I found an old rag and put it under the tap, washing off my makeup from yesterday. Outside the door, I heard someone shuffling about in the bedroom. I guess even the Joker had to get freshened up too.

I had never put on my own Jester makeup before; the Joker always did it for me. But I had a basic idea of what to do. I smothered on the thick base coat, my skin tone vanishing underneath the mask of white. I wiped my fingertips on the rag and then dipped a finger in the black. I was scared to do my lips, my shaking finger would mess it up. So I instead did my eyes, my circles not as grand as my partner's.

"I'll still look like a panda though..." I muttered to myself.

"I prefer kittens over pandas," the Joker said behind me. I turned around, he was leaning in the doorway with his arms folded on his chest casually. He gave a smirk and walked over next to me, snatching the rag from my hands and wiping off his own mask. "When you talk to mobsters, you gotta put on your best face..." he said before flashing me a grin, "and your best smile."

"Pretty easy for you..." I muttered, smiling still. As he dropped the rag, I looked up to find something I missed.

My Jack.

Underneath that makeup, the face I had been staring at for so many days, was secretly the same man underneath. Jack. I never realised how much I missed him... they were the same person, I know, I know... but... after looking at the permanently-fixed smile for so long, you forget about the fact that there's a person underneath there. I felt like I was the only person in Gotham who realised that.

Just as Jack was about to put on more paint, I reached out a hand absent-mindedly to his face. He flinched slightly, more out of surprise than anything else, as I lightly traced his newest scar... I had never seen it without the makeup before. It was hoarse and rugged, slightly swollen and red. It curved upward as he smiled, and I took my hand away.

"Sorry, I just..." I managed to get out. I stopped then, for I didn't know what else to say. Whatever came from my mouth would either humiliate me or get him mad. And I didn't want that. But unintelligible stammers made their way from my throat, exploring the air around us. Without warning, Jack dipped his finger in the black paint and put a smudge on my lips, shutting me up at once. He slowly traced the curves of my smile, wiping the remaining paint on his finger on my cheek in the spade design.

"I can't concentrate if kittens keep pawing at my face, Jester. Now shush, I need to do this..." And as the metamorphosis began, as each colour went onto his face, Jack turned back into the Joker.

I couldn't help but be a little disappointed even then.

But the word 'kittens' struck a memory into me.

"I don't think I got to say it last night..." I said quietly. "But thanks a lot for taking Noodle over to Kait... I know to you she isn't much, but Noodle – and Kait, for that matter – are my best friends..."

"I thought _I_ was your bestest pal..." he said, still concentrating on his reflection in the mirror.

"By this stage, I think you're more than that..." I replied quietly.

He never heard me: just grinned a bold grin to me and walked back out the door. I ran my fingers through my hair, making it fluffier despite my efforts, and followed him closely. "Are the boys coming with us?"

"Nope, just you and me, kitten." I glowed, that meant I didn't have to put on a false smile for just a few minutes longer. We went back into the kitchen and I watched as he rummaged through drawers, looking for something in particular. "Ha! I've got you!" He reached inside the back of the drawer, and pulled out...

...a pencil.

More specifically, the pencil he used to write down what he wanted to say when he couldn't talk.

"Why do we need a pencil?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and scrunching up my face. He didn't answer, just slowly came forward towards me with the pencil twirling between his fingers. I stood still, knowing that he couldn't hurt a person (especially me) with nothing but a pencil.

Oh how wrong I was...

He grabbed the front of my dress, just the edge of my corset, and pulled me towards him. I shrieked, and he covered up my mouth with his hand. With one slick movement, he slid the pencil between my breasts with his free hand, not touching any of my flesh in the process. He let go of me and kept walking through the house, me following behind.

"What the hell was that?!" I asked in a holler.

He just laughed, shaking his head at me. "Never, _ever _forget to bring a pencil to a mobster meeting, Jester... you'll never know when you'll need it-tah!" The two of us bolted out the door and hopped into the same black van from the bank heist. Some other thugs must have brought it back from the scene.

The drive was long, and in near silence. Every so often he would tell me to smile or 'act nice for the gentlemen', but it was all a blur to me. I wasn't that nervous about talking to mobsters, but I still had butterflies inside me. I still couldn't believe it was all happening to me.

Plus, his driving was scaring me shitless and I was worried that if I opened my mouth all would come out was vomit.

"Almost there, Jester!" he yelled over the top of the screeching tires. I clung to my seat, heart beating faster and faster until he finally hit the brakes. He jumped out of the car, singing to himself and completely unaffected by the ride.

I was shaking when I got out, on my last nerve with the madman.

"C'mon, Jester!" he squealed, taking me by the hand and dragging me through the door. I recognised the scene… 75B Red-Letter Avenue, Jameson. The floor above was the origin of my corset. We went inside, my grip on his hand tightening. He smiled at me, squeezing until I let go. I followed him, the pencil making my chest incredibly uncomfortable… why did he need the stupid thing anyway?

Clowns never struck me as funny, just pointless.

"Shush," he ordered. My feet came to a sudden halt just outside another door. "Wait here for a minute-tah…" He giggled as he made his way through the door. I never saw what went on the other side, but he was gone for nearly five minutes. He came back, beckoning me with a gloved finger from the gap in the door. I slowly opened the door, noticing the sudden lack of guards, and followed him into the next room.

There was a metal detector, with two nameless bodies on either side, and my boss made his way silently through the metal arch. I was about to follow, but a gloved hand waved me back. I kept quiet, keeping to shadow and not letting a single one of my bells ring. He would get me when he wanted me…

I heard people talking, the mobsters, an Asian voice in particular. I could already picture him now, a smart and neatly-dressed bastard with a smug smile on his face. And then the Joker entered… and everything went from bad to worse.

"Ha ha ha… aha, hee, hoo, aha…" he said sarcastically. "And I thought _my _jokes were bad…"

Another voice, a lower and tougher voice, growled at him. "Give me a reason why my boy here shouldn't pull your head off?"

The Joker merely smiled and promised the unexpected: "How 'bout a magic trick?" It took me everything I had not to wet myself with laughter. And then he had to ruin my joy by skipping over to the metal-detector, sticking his head through the arch and waving a hand at me. "Kitten! The nice men want to see your smile!"

"What?"

"Get over here, Jester!" he hissed. I skipped over to him at once, smiling widely. "Don't screw it up…" he growled at me. I didn't reply, merely kept smiling and pretended that he never mentioned a word. Couldn't keep a bad image for the most talked about couple in Gotham, now could we?

"My beautiful assistant here will supply us with the trick…" he said, making cheap 'special effects' by wiggling his fingers magically around my head.

And then he shoved his hand down my corset.

I couldn't put on a smile then.

"What are you doing?!?!" I screamed. The men around the table laughed, a chorus of chuckles and hysterics. This was just the comedy routine, nothing serious. As the Italian had said earlier, 'he's a nobody.' Yeah right…

"Just getting what's mine…" he muttered, giggling madly. "Plus, I know that it'll be a long, _looonng _time before I get to do this again…" Although he had the pencil in his hand, he kept his hand there. I think he was angry at himself for keeping the gloves on, for in the smile I could hint the tiniest speck of disappointment.

And somewhere in my eyes, pools of innocent blue, I felt a spark of sinful lust. And he knew it…

… part of me wanted him.

His hand finally retreated, and I put on a pout. Back into character, and I had to make up for the sudden burst of real emotion. Heroes aren't the only people whore wear masks…. "Thankyou, Jester… willing as ever…"I let a giggle escape me, and a chuckle fell from his. We were quite a pair, us two clowns. Funny that the mobs only saw us as a madman and his fuck.

The Joker slammed the pencil down on the table, and I was surprised to find that it even stood all on it's own. "I'm gonna make this pencil… _disappear_…"

I smirked, this was unbelievable. Who was he trying to fool? The mobsters were far more unimpressed than I was… the Mr T impersonator on the Joker's right sent a thug after him, who ran up behind the clown loyally and bravely. The Joker appeared not to notice, too focused on the pencil and making corny magical noises.

But then in one swift movement, he pushed the thug's head down onto the pencil. It bedded itself into his eye, giving a loud 'squelch' that still makes me shiver. I yelped, taken in complete surprise. He… he just killed someone. He had killed others in the past, but those had been prepared in secrecy and done behind a mask. I saw my best friend, without any signs of regret, kill an innocent man. Sure, a thug and worker for a mafia boss, but still an innocent man. I watched as the Joker took a seat, adjusting his jacket without a care in the world.

Where was the Jack I had seen that morning? The one that I thought was just hidden beneath makeup was really just drowning beneath the dark… only the one Italian from across the room saw the sadness in my eyes. He spotted my weakness out, but said nothing. I saw his gaze and the shine in his eyes, not enjoying the sick smile on his face. I gave a flirtatious wink, attempting to cover up, but I think he still knows what I really felt on that day.

"By the way, the suit wasn't cheap…" the Joker said, looking hurt. "You oughta know, you bought it."

I knew he was lying, just trying to get them irritated. And it sure did work. Mr T leapt from his seat, his face scrunched in anger as he stared with beady dark eyes at him. A Russian gentleman, with a pony-tail and untamed beard, stopped him. "I want to hear proposition…" he explained in a heavy accent.

The Joker put on a smug smile and gestured for the muscle-made T-man to sit down. "Let's wind the clocks back a year… these… cops and lawyers wouldn't _dare _cross any of you…" he looked at them all in disbelief and continued. "What happened? Did your balls drop off?"

"That would explain a lot…" I said, looking back over to Mr T. He glared at me, tightening the grip he had on his fist and trying to keep calm.

"You see," the Joker continued. "A guy like me-"

"A _freak_." Mr T sure was pissed off at us. The men around the table laughed, still not taking us seriously even after the magic-trick. Even I had to give a tiny smile then, and since it was behind the Joker's back I knew I wouldn't be caught.

"A guy like me…" he tried starting again, only to realise that it was pointless. "Look, listen… I know why you have your…um…" he cleared his throat and gave another smile "…'group therapy sessions' in broad daylight. I know why you're afraid to go out at night… _the Batman_…" he growled.

"See, Batman has shown Gotham your true colours unfortunat_ely_… Dent? He's just the beginning…" He then looked at the TV that was sitting across from him, the Asian mobster from before. He pointed at the screen judgingly, looking around at the others to make the point come across. "And as for the television's so-called plan? Batman has no jurisdiction… he will find him and make him _squeal_." He balled his hands into fists, his gloves squeaking as if it were the man himself. "I know that squealers when I see them… and…" he put a judging gaze on the boss, who suddenly had the urge to quit the communications. The screen went fuzzy as someone asked: "What do you propose?"

"It's simple, we…uh…kill the Batman."

A murmur came from everyone as they whispered to their neighbours about us. "If it's so simple…" said the slick Italian. "Then why haven't you done it yet?"

Even I knew the answer for this, and the two of us said it in perfect unison. "If you're good at something, never do it for free."

The Russian, the one who trusted us the most, leaned back in his chair and looked at us up and down. "How much you want?"

The Joker cleared his throat, looked them in the eye, and said with all respect and honesty… "half."

They all broke into laughter then. "You're crazy…" Mr T spat, smiling as if it were all still a joke but with the anger trapped inside his eyes.

"No I'm not…" the Joker muttered. When Mr T gave another look of disbelief he said it again, more clearly: "_No I'm not-tah_…" I heard the anger in his voice and took a step towards him, walking around the bleeding magic-trick and resting ah hand on his shoulder. A silent wish for him not to get too far. He turned his head slightly, looking down at my hand, before turning back to the others.

"If we don't sort this out now…" he said, giving a phoney expression of worry and confusion. "Then soon little… Gambol?" He looked across at Mr T, and I finally learnt his real name. "Little Gambol here won't get a _nickel _for his grandma."

Gambol, who had reached the absolute breaking point with us, slammed his fist on the table. "Enough from the clown!!" he exploded. He leapt up and started coming over to us, only to stop in his tracks when…

"Ah, ta, ta, ta, tah…" the Joker said, getting off his own seat and revealing a set of wired grenades in his jacket, all of the triggers tied to his thumb. "Let's not _blow_ this out of proportion…"

As everyone stared at him wide-eyed and panicked, up from their chairs and ready to wet themselves on their way to their vans. "He will do it ladies!" I yelled merrily, running over to his side. "This man will fuck you up!!" The only reason why I was calm was because I knew they were fakes. Just like the ones used in the bank heist the day before, these only made a smelly pink gas.

Gambol glared at us, fuming underneath his collar. "You think you can just come in here and try to take half our money?!"

"Yeah," was the Joker's simple reply. I giggled, but when I nearly fell over the magic-trick corpse my giggle faded. Up and down, up and down went my line of sanity and happiness.

"I'm putting out an offer," Gambol continued. "Five-hundred grand for this clown dead, a million alive… so that I can teach him some manners first…"

"Oooh!" I yelped, raising my hand in the air like a kindergartener. "How much am _I _worth?!"

Gambol looked at me up and down, a smirk appearing on his face. "Whatever they usually pay you out on the streets…"

"Bastard!" I yelled, taking a step out to him. No one had insulted me like that before, and I couldn't control my anger. I slapped him, hard, across the cheek. His smirk faded, and his nostrils flared with anger as I stepped back to the Joker's side.

The Joker stared at the fuming face, knowing that we should be going before things got messy. "So listen, why don't you give me a call when you wanna take things a little more seriously…" he rummaged inside his back pocket, pulling out a small rectangular card. He revealed the face to everyone, it was a joker card of course. "Here's my card…" he put the face-down on the table and slowly made his way backwards. I followed him, giving Gambol a good last glare and flip of the finger as we made our way through the door and made a mad bolt back to the car.

He was still laughing when we were at the van, his eyes bright as stars. I followed him into the van, taking the passenger seat and strapping on my seatbelt. With driving as reckless as his, I wanted to be safe than sorry. The Joker started the car, honking the horn spastically and excitedly as he drove off in a cloud of engine fumes. I rested my head on the window, tired and shaken from the morning's adventure. He looked across from the windscreen to me, his laughter dying until he was rolling his eyes at my depressed expression. "What now?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, slowly sitting up and turning my head to his.

"You always pull that face when I… _disappoint_ you…" he said bitterly. "And so obviously I've done something to hurt you…" He didn't sound sorry about anything. Awkward silence consumed me, and I was too scared to say anything.

"If it's because I pushed a pencil into a grown man's head, then grow up." I looked over to him, surprised and confused at the same time. "Gotham is a dog-eat-dog world, kitten… and I ex-pec-ted-dah you to know this by now…"

I rested my head back against the warm glass, happy that he knew what I felt but still stressing over the situation inside… but there was still something else.

"Did you really have to cop a feel while you were getting the pencil?"

"Yep."

"No you didn't."

"Kitten…" he said, letting go of the wheel completely and resting it on the tip of his knees. It was a long stretch of road, but I was still scared out of my mind. "Don't tell me that you didn't enjoy our little experience?"

"Almost as much as this one!!" I screamed. "PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL!!"

"It's a shame that you didn't enjoy it…" he said mournfully but with a smile on his face. "Because I know for certain that you were blushing when I tried to claim what was mine… and all the other times I've touched your skin…" I bit my lip and looked out the window. Bastard. How dare he. I don't blush, not that much anyway… He slowly made a trail with his fingers down my neck, causing goose-bumps and tomato-red skin. Stupid magic-fingers… I wish I had another pencil with me to shove up his nose.

"Aw…" the Joker giggled. He took his hand away slowly, torturing me for just a few seconds longer. "Not even a purr…"

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**CrazyA: ***purring madly*

**Joker: **Oh help... she's got that love-sick look on her face... please review so that she has something else to be happy about.


	24. Love Equals Want

**CrazyA: **Sorry for the long wait, guys. But I had a dreadful case of Writer's Block.... wah...

**Joker: **Oh quit your whining

**CrazyA: **But to make it up to you all, I added in some awesomeness to this chapter. SO READ AND REVIEW!!!

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****24. Love Equals Want  
**_**'You won't take away my pride, no not this time... how did we get here? I used to know you so well.'- **__Decode, _Paramore

I lay comfortably on the couch, though to the human eye it would appear as an incredibly uncomfortable position. With my feet dangling over the arm-rest of the couch, my back on the main seating pillows and my hair flowing all across the seats, I felt comfy. But anyone walking past always stared at me bug-eyed and wondered why I sat like that.

The answer: I was bored.

And I needed to think about a few things.

I still couldn't get the image out of my mind...even though it happened three days ago. One minute the pencil was there, the next is had vanished into a grown man's eye. I loved the Joker, he was my closest friend. I had told him more about my life than I had to anyone else. But whenever he did something like that...whenever he murdered or double-crossed a person...it made me scared.

"Jester," the demon called. "Where's my little kitten?" I kicked my legs, too tired to open my mouth and still focused on my thoughts. He saw my converse and walked over, standing behind the couch and staring down at me. "What are you up to?"

"Listening to music..." I answered.

"I can see that..." he replied with a smile. My iPod was up on one of the loudest volumes possible and I could only just make out what he was saying. "Anything else?"

"Thinking," I replied.

"Shocking!" he fake-gasped. "She's actually using that brain of hers!" I laughed, but it came out quietly in a tiny chuckle. I was still focused on my own thoughts to take in what he was saying. He could tell. The smile faded and he looked at me disapprovingly. "Brooding?"

"Not really..." I answered. "Just questioning the subconscious."

"In other words... yes."

"Okay fine, I'm brooding."

"About something I did?"

"..."

"The answer is 'yes'..."

"Well every time I try to tell a person how I feel about something they usually just shake it off and don't give a flying fuck," I explained. "So I decided to forget the idea and instead drown in my own thoughts until someone comes along and asks me what the problem is..."

The Joker sighed and climbed over the couch, landing on the end furthest away from me. "Kitten, you should know by now that I'm not like the rest of 'em..." he said calmly, spreading out his arms to make him seem more fantastic. "Now what's wrong?"

I sat there silently for a fair amount of time, thinking it over. But I sat up and sat in a proper position, turning my iPod off and putting my feet on the floor. I took a deep breath and asked him in a whisper of a voice "What do you think of me?"

He blinked, a wide smile curling on his face, before cackling madly and shaking his head at me. "Jester... what sort of question is that?"

"Just answer it, in all honesty."

He smiled at me, still thinking it was all just a joke. But when he saw the serious expression on my face, the smile faded into a slight frown. "Jester..." he started, trying to find the right words. "... you're just Jester."

I nodded, turning on my iPod again. "That's what I thought."

He rolled his eyes at my sorrowful tone, the frown deepening. "What now?"

"Do you prefer me as...me... or Jester?" I asked.

"Jess, don't start this up," he groaned, falling deeper into the couch. "I love you both e-qual-ly! Besides, you're the same person!"

"No we're-" I cut myself off, sinking lower into the couch myself. "Okay fine, we are... I am... wait a minute..." I sat up, my heart racing. He stared at me, wondering what the heck was up with me now. Sometimes I'm worried that I'm bipolar.

"You said... you love me..." I said quietly, blushing brightly. My eyes turned from blank to blissful, looking over at his mad grin. "You love me?"

"Jester," the Joker sighed, looking me in the eye. He leant closer to me, so that I had no choice but to stare right back into his eyes. "People don't 'love'... people 'want-tah'... even if someone said... 'Oh, I _love _this song...' they _really _mean that they _want _the song on their... iPod thing. If a man said to his wife, 'I _loved-dah..._the steak that we had...' It just means that he _wanted _it... And if a person says that they _love _someone... they're lying through their teeth. They just _want _them." He came up close to me, I could feel the hot, raw breath on my face and caused a shiver down my spine. "I don't _love _you, Jester... I _want _you."

I blinked, struck dumb. What was really lame was that he was right in every way possible. And then it hit me, about as effect as a brick through a window.

No subtle hints.

Just a great, big, smash that seemed to echo though my delicate glass-window mind.

He _wanted _me.

Probably more than I wanted him.

He moved towards me, inch by inch, and I crawled backwards away from him, nearly reaching the end of the couch. I couldn't trust the gleam in his eye, however tempting it may have been. My heart banged inside my chest the only thing that could escape my throat was a long line of stutters and whimpers.

"Jack..." I managed to get out. "Please don't-"

"Jester, you should know what my name is by now," the tempting smirk hissed at me through a series of giggles. "After all... you'll need to know it... when you start _scream_-ing..."

My pupils shrank as he pressed me down onto the couch, pushing a hand onto my stomach until I collapsed beneath him. He brought his face closer to mine, and I waited for something I had lusted for God knows how long...

...but he moved away.

He kissed my neck, almost biting into the skin, and made me lose all thought. The tension was killing me, and I had grabbed onto the couch cushions in order to stop myself from letting out a blissful moan.

"You... suck..." I spat at him. I felt his smile grow wider at the insult as his free hand snaked behind my neck and grabbed the bottom of my hairline. His fingers twirled in my blonde locks, and I knew that it would take more than a once-over with a hairbrush to get the knots out.

"Jester," he stretched out. "You and I both know... _exactly_... what you want..." The hand that was on my stomach slipped to my thigh, and I bit my lip in a vain attempt to try and hide my blush. Two fingers slowly tortured me as they went up my inner thigh in snail's pace. I looked away, still trying to hide the painful and shameful red marks on my face, but he saw them anyway underneath the fading makeup.

He giggled, leaning towards my neck again and moving my leg around his, forming us as one twisted knot. His lower-half of his body pressed against mine, while his two muscle-bound forearms supported the top off my chest. I tried squirming, but the grip on the back of my neck tightened into a vice. I let out a cry, which made him chuckle, and he kissed the area where my neck and shoulder became one. His tongue ran up my exposed neck, and I winced at the feeling of his sticky saliva on my skin.

"You want... a good... hard... _fuck_..." he hissed, biting down on my neck.

"Stop it!" I cried, trying to push him off. But my weak attempts were half-hearted. I let out a broken moan, a skipping gasp, and a silent plea for more that I knew I would regret. His hand pulled my head back as he grabbed another lock of hair, exposing more and more of my neck.

"You want it..._rough_..." he growled, pulling me closer to him. He kissed my just above my corset, trying to pull the black fabric down and off my body entirely. "And most of all, Jester... you... want... _me_..."

"Get off me!" I yelled, slapping him across the face right where a scar was. He winced at the pain, my hand still hovering over the mark in shaking fingers. I stared at him, open-mouthed and terrified, as he opened his cold eyes and glared at me.

He slowly moved off me and walked away, not speaking a word. That was, for me, the worst part of it all. Just the way he turned around, in total silence, leaving me on the couch looking like a stunned mullet gasping for breath.

But I wasn't done yet.

I got up and followed behind him, wanting answers from him. Now. He went to our room, but I had enough sense to stay out in the hallway. He paused in his tracks when he heard my footsteps, turning around slowly. "What the hell was all that for?!" I yelled at him.

"Jester, you and I... want the exact. Same. Thing," he said calmly.

"That isn't true!" I yelled. "I want someone who actually _loves _me! I want a guy who will _wait _and actually _respect _me and my beliefs! Where as _you _just want someone to shag senseless!"

He cackled with laughter, holding himself together and licking his scars with his pointed tongue. "You really think I'm that predictable? Oh ho... no... I want a girl I can 'shag senseless'... and then expect her to follow me around like a little duckling! And if you're expecting me to start showing you respect, then I'll just keep coming at you until you learn the lesson."

"What lesson?!"

"That you will _always _do as I say, my lucky-duck! Gosh, Jess... why so serious?"

"Forget it!" I yelled. "If you're just thinking of me as a cheap whore, then you're no better than that bastard from the meeting!" When I first said it, I thought that I had one.

But no one wins at poker if your deck is full of jokers.

I started to walk away in frustration, getting sick of him already. "Jester!" he called. "Get back in here for a minute." I turned around, not wanting to know what he was up to now but cursing my loyalty to others... even total psychopaths like him.

He looked me up and down for a minute, shaking his head. "Take off the dress."

I blinked. "Don't you even _think _about trying that trick on me again!"

"What? No, not this time... put on something else," he ordered. I checked to see if he was serious before walking over to the cupboard, looking at my still-packed suitcase. I had a habit of leaving everything in my one bag like that. Pulling out a pair of jeans and a turtleneck, I looked around to make sure the Joker had left the room. He got the signal and rolled his eyes as he left, thinking what a major drama-queen I could be.

Though he was gone, I still walked over to the bathroom to get dressed. I had to check something...

I stared at my mirrored reflection, staring into the glass with tears in my eyes. My makeup was broken and creased, the black mark on my cheek just a smudge now. But what I hated were the red and white marks that coated my neck. I looked like... I felt like... a whore.

Nothing more than that.

I cried, sobbing out everything I had inside me. If my parents... my sister... or _anyone _I loved saw me like this... They would hate to know I was part of the Jean family. And Kait... I loathed the thought of her finding me like this...

"Hurry up, Jester!" he called from the hallway. "Unless you need help-pah..."

Never.

I wiped my eyes, smudging more makeup in the process, and untied my corset. Pulling off my colourful costume, I replaced it with my preferred clothes: normal street-wear. And an actual _bra_. I clipped it together and pulled on my comfortable jumper and jeans, still wearing the converse on my feet.

Hey, they were my signature shoes. I wasn't going to take them off in a million years.

I walked out of the room and met the Joker outside, who looked at me up and down. "Happy now?" I asked sarcastically.

He shook his head, deciding to keep me in confusion for just a few more minutes. "Got a hair-elastic?" he asked. I nodded and rummaged around in my pockets, eventually pulling one out. He grabbed my bundle of blonde and pulled me over to him, tying up my hair in a crazy ponytail before shoving it down the neck of my jumper. He pulled a few-dozen strands over my face, so that I could barely see anything in front of me and people couldn't make out my face.

"What are we doing?" I asked as he let me go at last.

"Have you got a hat or... I don't know... a hood?" he asked. I nodded and walked back over to my bag, pulling out a black paper-boy cap and ramming it down on my head.

"Still haven't answered me..." I muttered.

He heard me and laughed, walking over to the kitchen after collecting his grand purple coat. "Jester... Tonight, I'm gonna show you... just how I feel about respecting your beliefs..."

I stopped following him, my mind doing a 360. "Wait a minute... please don't tell me that..." I swallowed my fears and came out with it, knowing he'd laugh. "Role-plays?"

He didn't laugh... he full-on cackled. "I'm flattered, kitten. But no, not tonight... Tonight, I'm gonna test your _other _belief..." he looked through kitchen drawers, finally finding what he wanted at the bottom of the cupboard.

A black garbage bag.

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**CrazyA: **If you, Mr Reader, are as a major fan of the Dark Knight as I am, then you will know exactly what comes up next chapter.

**Joker: **You are _such _a wuss, you wouldn't even let me get to second-base with Jester

**Jester: **YOU SUCK, CRAZYA!! Waaahhh.... I didn't shag my puddin'...

**Harley Q.: **HEY! That's my line! Mistah Jay, tell her to stop stealing my lines!

**CrazyA: **Sigh... read and review, guys


	25. Limited

**CrazyA: **I am so UNBELIEVABLY sorry for my laziness! I haven't upgraded in what, two months?! I'm so sorry, I've just had a whole heap of side-projects and other random stories to write... so, to make it up to you, I'll give a little note on how emotional I got while writing this: I BAWLED. Full-on crying and sobbing. So there you go. Sweat. Blood. And now tears. I hope you guys can forgive me!

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25. Limited

_**'You think that I can't see what kind of man that you are... if you are man at all...' **__–Decode, _Paramore

"What are you doing?" I asked, staring at the garbage bag that he was shaking in the air in order to unfold it.

"Tell one of the boys to start up the van, won't you?" he asked, not paying much attention to me. I shrugged and walked off to the second living-room, the one that all the thugs and goons shared together for porn and movie-marathons. They were all in there, watching the news and feasting on takeaway pizza. There were only five of them at the time; the rest had gone back to their apartments.

No more natural confusion, time to become Jester. "The Joker wants one of you guys in the van, pronto."

They looked over to me, widening their eyes in surprise. One of them spoke up, trying to get a glimpse of the person behind the blonde strings of hair. "Is that...Jester? Man, you look different."

I blinked. Sure, it was just a few strands of hair in front of my face and a hat, but I didn't think that it would change my whole appearance. "Just get in the van already!" I snapped. He started moving, not wanting to guess how patient I could be.

I walked back over to the kitchen, prepared to see the Joker pushing hundreds of guns and weapons into the plastic bag. But... that wasn't exactly what he was doing.

He was standing in the bag, with the plastic up to his waist. He looked up at me, a smile on his face, and jumped towards me like a kid would at a sack-race. "He's in?"

"Uh... yeah..." I said, still in slight awe of what he was doing. "Why are you in a garbage bag?"

"Correction..." he waddled over to the drawer again, pulling out another bag. "_Two _garbage bags!"

I laughed, thinking that this was all a big joke. Really, he had done worse in his life. But when he started pulling the bag over his head, I realised that it was all a serious matter. "Jester, get the scissors."

I did as told and went to the drawer, pulling out a rust set and cutting open the top of the bag. At least he could breathe. "Now, carry me to the van."

"What?"

"C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"Fine, but only if I get a few more guys," I said before walking back over to the other room and pulling back two other guys. Their eyes widened at the sight of their commanding, theatrical boss... in a garbage bag.

"Is... is he okay?" one of them hissed at me.

"No one here's 'okay'..." I hissed back. "We're all nuts!" I said it in my normal voice, but it managed to come out as flirty-girly-psychotic-Jester. He nodded, backing away a little, and looked back to the Joker.

He just stood there, waiting for us to move. I knew that underneath all the black plastic, he was glaring at us impatiently. "Hurry it up, fellas!"

"Yeesh, keep your pants on..." I muttered, walking over to him. The others followed behind me. We lined up around him, arms outstretched and ready for him to fall back. "Three... two... one..." I counted down, ready for the sudden weight. He fell, and with much effort we carried him out of the room.

"This better be damn important," one thug in a leather jacket growled. I didn't snap back a bitchy comment, if I did then I would be a complete hypocrite. This was stupid... Just because I didn't want to have a senseless horizontal monster-mash with him, he suddenly drags all his followers to the van and dresses up in a black garbage bag.

The freezing night air of Gotham chilled me to the bone... I hadn't gone outside in days. Thank God that I was wearing so many layers of clothing, otherwise I would've been chilled like an icy-pole. I watched the bundle of black plastic being pushed into the back-seat of the van, the Joker still giving orders to his men from underneath.

"You're all a bunch of murderers..." he said, with humour in his voice. He let out a giggle. "I don't deserve to die like this!"

I tried to hide a smirk, thinking up delightfully-evil ways that he _did _deserve to die, as I pushed him in by the shoulders. I followed behind him into the backseat, with one other thug following me, as the remaining one hopped in the passenger seat.

"So where are we going?" I asked, buckling my seatbelt. I didn't trust a stranger's driving skills, especially when I trusted the Joker's a few days ago.

"We're going to visit a good friend of yours-sah..." he muttered, resting his head on my lap.

My mouth dropped. "If you take us to Kait I swear I'll kick you until you bleed," I hissed to him, not letting the thugs around me eavesdrop as they started up the van.

Another giggle came from beneath the plastic, rustling the material. "No, one of your more... _charming_... _respected_... friends."

I blinked and leaned back in my chair, thinking it over. I didn't have any other friends in Gotham. It was just Kait and... well, I couldn't really classify the Joker as a friend any more. Now he was just a boss. A boss that wanted to stitch my mouth shut. There was Thalia, except she was _definitely _not my friend. And I'm pretty sure that the Joker wouldn't want to see her again for a _long _time.

The black van drove off, and I could only make out the streets of Gotham by what the lamp-lights showed. Who else was on my list? No one, that was it. But then again, this was the Joker we're talking about. I could barely tell when he was being serious and when he was joking. If he was joking, then I had a new list: who on Earth has insulted me in the past few days?

One person, and one person only.

The best Mr T impersonator in town.

"Joker, I don't know what you're planning, but if you expect me to do anything stupid to this guy, you can forget it," I told him firmly. He laughed madly, and I could see through the plastic that he was clapping his hands.

"Jester, you're _mine_! Why would I give you to someone _else_?!" he giggled. "Especially to someone that doesn't deserve a gal like you..."

I stayed silent the rest of the trip, barely making out what he was telling everyone. It was just the usual anyway: 'Don't screw this up,' 'remember to improvise,' and, of course, 'everyone smile.' I nearly fell asleep in the car, and I jumped to attention when I realised we had arrived. The thug in the front seat hopped out and talked to the guy guarding the door, pointing to the plastic cacoon that was the Joker. The guard smiled, and laughed his head off in disbelief. I couldn't hear what was going on, but it was _not _going to be pretty.

The guard waved us inside, and everyone started piling out of the car. I hopped out with them and helped them carry the clown out of the car. But this time, he was as silent as the grave. No complaints. No jokes. No mad giggling. And I couldn't help but feel like I was carrying a coffin... and that I missed the complaints.

"I can't believe it, he's actually dead!" the guard was practically squealing with joy. "So much for prince of crime! Long live the king!" I think he was a tad bit dunk, I could smell some alcohol on his breath. But I didn't dare open my mouth. I may have looked like a street-boy, but my voice sure as hell wouldn't help me.

We went into a lift, everyone finding it hard to make their own space with the giant plastic bag taking up most of the room in the tiny closet we were all trapped in. The light in the lift flickered as we emerged at the top floor. "I'll tell him you're here."

The guard managed to get his way around us all and quickly lead the way to Gambol. "Somebody here for you. They say they killed the Joker. They brought the body"

And cue 'these people'. We walked in, looking around the place in awe. Our meek little scene wasn't as grand as this. There was an actual bar, with luxurious leather sofas and a high-quality pool-table. My mouth was hanging open. I knew mobsters lived in good-quality places, but the place that the last meeting was set in sort of changed my mind.

But my bubble burst when I watched two guys drag the still, limp body of the Joker, who remained in his plastic bag, onto the pool-table. As Gambol looked up from his game, he caught my eye for a minute. I blinked and looked away, focused on the bag once more. He stood up slowly, taking caution, and tore at the bag, revealing the clown's face.

He was so... believable. His closed eyes and ajar mouth, plus the smudged makeup, really hurt my heart. I actually believed for two seconds that he really was a lifeless corpse. But I had to stay focused. One whimper or sob and this could all go in flames.

Gambol smirked at his body, satisfied with our effort. "So, dead? That's five hundred..." This was what we had to do? Turn him in and get half a million dollars? He couldn't stay still forever.

"How 'bout alive, hm?" I suddenly heard. He sprung to life, sitting up with his switchblade at the mobster's cheek. I looked around me, amazed to see so suddenly that the others had taken action, bringing Gambol's workers down on their knees with guns at the back of their skulls.

Gambol looked over to me, recognising my eyes at last. I took off the hat and pulled out my hair elastic, letting my blonde curls fall. I tried to smile, but I was too scared to. I had no idea what he was planning. I didn't know what to do. But the fear I saw in that grown man's eyes was enough for me.

So I stood on the sidelines and watched them play ball.

And the thing was, this was all my fault. I had opened my mouth and reminded him about how that arsehole had called me a whore, and then went ahead to tell him that he was treating me like Mr T did. So this was _my _punishment. Only someone else was involved in it.

I honestly would've rather taken a beating. Hit me with a bat, a belt, a slap over the head, and it sure as hell would've hurt. But this... watching someone being killed by the man I once knew and admired...that's too much for anyone.

"Wanna know how I got these scars?" he asked, hissing in Gambol's ear. The two of us were equally shitting ourselves. "My father was... a drinker... and a _fiend_...and one night he goes off _crazier _than usual... Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself, he doesn't like that. Not. One. _Bit-tah_."

I knew this story. But not this version. This was the scary, late-night TV version. All I read was the picture book. I bit my lip and watched, knowing that if I looked away for two seconds he would get me for it later.

"_So_...me watching, he takes the knife to her, _laughing_ while he does it. He turns to me and he says, '_why so serious-sah?'_" he growled, pushing the knife further into his mouth. I bit my lip harder, getting close to drawing blood. "Comes at _me _with the knife, '_why so __**serious-sah**__?' _And sticks the blade in my mouth... _**'let's put a smile on that face-cah!'**_And..."

My eyes, as wide and as white as dinner plates, stared at him as he looked from Gambol at long last and to me. His eyes were black and gleaming with insanity. A tear squeezed out of my eye and I let out a whimper. He grinned and kept the sparkle in his eye, watching me with glee. His plan was working. He was testing my belief to the limit... I didn't let him test my other one, so he takes it out on the next most important.

"...why so serious?" he asked me, pressing the knife in at least another centimetre or so. He tore the blade through his skin, blood escaping like Niagra Falls.

I didn't want this. I would _never _want this. I watched the stranger's body fall to the floor, and yet I felt all the pain. I couldn't take it any longer. I walked away, back into the main room and away from the body, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Christ..." I muttered, wiping away the tears and sniffing back the water-works. But it all flew out of me, pouring down my face. I sat on one of the couches, the padded cushions squishing around me. I hid my face in my hands, my shoulders shaking. This was my breaking point...

I remembered everything.

How he had held onto my wrist as we ran through shelves of fabric...

How he had gone shopping for a corset with me and the way he looked at me when I was all dressed up...

How he stared at me from his window... and how I could barely look back at him...

How he held me close to him as we danced...

How he was so close to kissing me...

But then this... I couldn't get the image of his stupid grin out of my head... it was there like a Halloween lantern. Teasing and taunting, hollow and haunting. I hated him. All the best memories that I had weren't of him. They were of someone else that I had known a long time ago.

I sobbed harder, crying and crying with no sign of stopping. Tonight, two men had died. Gambol and Jack...

I didn't care if he heard me crying. In fact, I wanted him to. That way he could see just how far he was pushing me. But I still tried to hold back, tried to keep still and tried to keep quiet. I had done it often during my life and it wouldn't hurt me if I did it again.

I didn't even notice when he came to sit beside me.

The pillows squished beneath him as he sat, leaning back comfortably. I didn't need to look up to know that he would be grinning at me with utter smugness. He hit me on the back, patting it roughly in a weak attempt to comfort me that only made me choke on my tears.

"C'mon, kitten!" he said cheerfully. "Lighten up! Why so-"

"If you pull that line on me one more time, I'll-"

"-you'll what?" he barked, still smiling. I finally took my head from my hands, staring instead at the floor. My eyes, my chest, my mind, _every _part of me ached. I couldn't look in his eyes. I was too exhausted...

"Kitten, look at me..." he ordered.

No. I couldn't. Even if I wanted to I couldn't. Just breathing was too much for m-

"Look at me, Jester!" he ordered again. I stayed still. He sighed and grabbed my wrist, pulling my hand from underneath my chin and making me jump at the sudden movement. "Look at me!!"

I did, the tears spewing up all over again. He glared at me, but I could barely make out his smudged face through the blurs in my vision. He shook my wrists, trying to snap me into sense. I merely stared at where I thought his eyes were, still choking on tears and trying to calm down. Using his thumb, he wiped away the tears and jabbed my eyes, trying to dry them. But he merely hurt me more, and I managed to shake his grip off me in order to wipe them away myself.

"Why are you crying, hm?" he asked me, hissing the words in my ear. "Wishing that this was all... a big ol' dream?" He laughed, jumping up and down in his seat. "Oh shush, kitty-kitty, don't you cry... Daddy can't sing any lullabies!" He laughed even harder at that point.

"Shut up..." I finally got out of me. "You know perfectly well why I'm upset..."

"Oh Jester, you should know by now that you can't get all you want…" he said in an all-knowing fashion. "Besides, I warned you how dangerous this would be... but you _begged _for me... you _wanted _to be with me... so I assumed you'd be... _prepared-dah_... for when your little sweetheart went a little... _psychotic_..."

"You can shove it, Joker..." I muttered bitterly.

He didn't like it when I used foul language, especially towards him. So he gave me a smile and stood up, facing the three thugs that had come with us with his trademarked grin.

"Isn't this a cute little dream-house, boys?" he said, looking around in a circle at the place.

"Yeah, sure is..." the one in the leather jacket spoke up. "Better than that bull-shit place _we_ have to stay in."

The Joker smiled, unaffected by the insult. "You're absolutely right! So, since the owner of the building has died... I guess this leaves the place available for rent!"

I stared at him, completely confused at this point and with no clue what he was on about. "Hey, Ken-doll," he said, snapping his fingers at a younger thug with short blonde hair. "How many men do we have back at the hidey-hole?"

"Two, why'd you ask?" he replied. Thank God I wasn't the only bewildered person here.

"Take the keys to the van and drive back there. Then I want you three to pack up everything _and I mean __**everything **_and bring it all over here. We're going to start up... 'head-quarters' back here..."

Great. Not only did I watch someone I deeply cared about kill someone, I'm about to live in the apartment of the deceased. Now I was going to be reminded of the incident every time I walked into the room...

As the goon headed to the lift, I suddenly sprung an idea. "Joker, mind if I try to find a room to sleep in?" I asked, pretending nothing had happened.

He smiled at me, a sly grin with a familiar gleam in his eye. "Need a hand?"

I was about to flip him the finger, but I managed to restrain myself. I didn't want anything else happening to me. "No... I can manage..."

I couldn't really remember the rest of the night, I was too focused on trying not to cry and pretend that I was a smart-alec skank. But I managed to get off on the fourth floor, second from the top and just beneath the bar room, and found what I assumed was the main bedroom. I knew it was more than likely that the Joker would join me later that night, so I only had so much time to finally let it out as loud as I wanted to.

I screamed and screamed, crying and sobbing, until I was sick of crying and just crawled up into a tight little ball, hugging my knees to my chest and let my shoulders shake unsteadily. I hid my face in my lap, sitting at the foot of the bed, and rubbed my eyes. I was worn out from everything, and felt as week as a leaf. I slowly stood, walking over to the bed and pulling back the covers. I took off my jeans and rubbed my eyes one last time as I hid underneath the covers.

"Shit..." I muttered when I realized what was so strange about this bed. As I lay down, the mattress squirmed beneath me...

...it was a water-bed.

* * *

**CrazyA: **So Joker's predictions CAN come true... huh. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chappie and I promise that I'll try to upgraded ASAP. But don't be surprised if I become a real slacker and not upgrade for another few months or so. But please, be patient and pretty please review, even though I don't deserve it.


	26. Please Read and Vote

**To my loyal and patient readers of _Faith Won't Save You from Chaos,_**

Recently I've had feedback from a few people saying that my characters aren't believable and can be a bit Mary-Sue. This, plus the fact that I'm not full happy with what I've been writing lately, I've been thinking of re-doing _FWSYFC_ and starting all over again.

I know that this seems pretty stupid to some of you, who are perfectly happy with what you're reading at the moment. But I feel as if people aren't fully interested with this as it once was. I feel like Jess is being whiny and unbelievable (and since I AM Jess, that makes it even weirder) and I really want her to have a better audience. Re-doing the story will also take a lot of time, and might mean that I'll be simply copy-pasting a lot of my work that I AM happy with. But if I know that people will read this version, then I know it'll all be worth it.

The new version will include:

- A younger, slightly insane Jester (who hopefully isn't Mary-Sue)

- More snogging

- *Unfortunately for some readers* Flash-backs

- More violence

- Dr. Harleen Quinzel (or at least at an early stage than originally planned)

- A similar plot, but with heaps of variations

But since you are the people who have REALLY gotten into the story, I want your opinion also. So please vote in the poll I've put on my profile and/or leave a comment here. The future of this fanfic depends on you!

**Love from CrazyAcorn**


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